I’ve have a friend in WoW I’ve known for a little over a year and they’re usually great. I love them but they do some stuff that just makes me feel that I’m not valued. The main thing they do is they say “brb” and then they don’t come back for a long time. Yesterday was the first time that I voiced my displeasure after they returned and were like “lol, I talked to my friend for an hour.” Like yeah? And I was in game waiting for you, for that hour when you told me brb. I am pretty upset and I think they’re upset that they upset me. They did apologise to me but idk I just feel sad that I’m so low on their priority list that they don’t even bother to tell me that they’re gonna be gone for an extended period of time. I’ll admit I usually let it slide since they say it’s to care for their child or spouse but I wish they would give me an estimate of the time it’ll take so I know if I can wander off on my own.
What would you do with a friend like this? Sorry for the wall of text.
easy solution just don’t rely on them. if they say they’re going to be right back, never assume its a set amount of time. Find something to do while you wait. If they don’t return, they don’t return.
So, you two are playing together, they pause whatever you are doing, say BRB then don’t come back for an hour or longer? Yikes, that is very rude.
Do you stop mid questing/leveling, or in a dungeon or just goofing off? I’d be pretty mad in a dungeon, but if I were out in the world, maybe wander off and do mining or skinning or herbing to pass the time until they come back? I don’t know, sounds pretty mean to me, maybe talk to them and ask them to let you know how long they will be so you aren’t wasting your time just standing there. Sorry for your troubles, and good luck!
If someone says brb, set yourself a reasonable wait time before you move on and continue what you’re doing or do something else.
Something to keep in mind is that it’s easy to make friends in-game with people online from all over the world, but we all have our lives and for many people real life takes priority over video game stuff, even if it’s in a social context.
first is to realize anything in real life is more important to most wow players than their in game friends and just go do what you want whether it takes an hr or 15 minutes or less never wait around. they might of just thought you was going to go do whatever and not just sit there in the first place.
It’s usually while questing around. They have done it in dungeons but they said it was for their child which is understandable. I did ask them to let me know from now on but we’ll see if they let me know I guess. Thank you.
I get that, but this is from someone who has called me their best friend in both online and irl. It just sucks that they don’t even seem to consider my feelings and time.
I’d move on without them personally, w/e it is that you were intending to do. It would mean more incentive for your friend to actually prioritize what you were just doing together. If your friend doesn’t change their act up, then I’d be concerned with treating the person as a acquaintance than actual friend… Friends do come and go after all.
Sounds like you value the friendship more than your friend does. Spread yourself around a bit more so you aren’t so dependant on this person, for your own sanity. You’ll regret if you go off on them about it. So unless you are so over them that you just want to tell them off and walk away, I’d just stop planning on depending on them for things. And if they tell you they want to hang out just mention that you’d love to, but want to make sure you guys plan it for when they won’t need long afks.
I have learned that some people (my father) have no sense of value for anyone else when it comes to their time. If they say brb, just have something else to engage with until they come back. It’s a pattern that some people really just cannot break (I have tried), and you can either cut the friendship off or create your own “brb” activities.
I guess it depends on what kind of content you’re doing.
If it’s not restrictive like a mythicplus or a raid, I would just leave the group and go do whatever I wanted to.
Actually ran into this problem a lot in early classic. Waiting for someone to run a thousand miles to the dungeon entrance. Then telling me they got to stop by the town and auction house blah blah blah.
I used to play other games and I have to wait on people with their kids and dogs and work responsibilities.
I would just play a different game or load up a different toon.
Time is super precious and rare for me now that even just having a casual friend world quest with me is actually a bit anxiety inducing because I’m almost certain that what I want to do is at a pace I want not matching someone else’s.
Plus I do deal with interruptions from family and work all the time. Some of the reasons why I question whether MMORPG is actually the type of game I should be playing.
I used to tolerate those kinds of friendships when I was younger, but as I aged and became more social I just let those friends go over time. Allocated my time more to other people who were more considerate others. Over time the friendship fades and there’s no hard feelings.
If you’re looking to make new friends, I’d recommend joining a guild and participating in various activities when somebody asks if anyone is available. Prove that you’re a good player and it’s like an automatic in. If the guild is social enough, people will start asking you specifically if you’re available.
If you’re looking to maintain that friendship, I’d say let them know you felt under valued. It makes things super awkward in the short term, but if he cares enough to maintain the friendship, then hopefully he’s a little more considerate afterwards. If not, I’d personally just move on.
Whenever I have issues with online friends, I usually go out and try to find another. I know it sounds like I replace people,
but trust me I don’t it’s usually to give myself space from that person or to find someone that actually enjoys my company or actually wants to do things with me and cares what I have to say. I’d still be friends with that person, but not as close.