So since Blizzard decided to just shove Shadowlands into my hands and tell me to take it, I figured I might as well record the experience. Full disclosure - I know the major story beats thanks to the Forums and watching the “big” cinematics, but as to Shadowlands itself I know practical nothing since it never interested me. So I figured while I play it (Alongside Total War: Warhammer 3’s Immortal Empires), I might as well jot down my observations of the expansion since I am going into this extremely blind.
Maybe this was better established if I’d bothered to do the N’zoth chain at the end of BfA, but man Shadowlands just kinda drops in your lap. "Oh, Hi Morgaine. Longtime no see. Huh? Come to Stormwind? “Learn the fate of your leaders”? What the hell does that mean?
ANGRY STORMCLOUD CINEMATIC! (Genn Greymane yelling “nooo, Slyvanas!” to the sky. everyone take a shot)
So maybe it’s different for the Horde, but we only see Anduin get taken. I get that Jania, Thrall, and Baine are also grabbed but…why not Calia? Theron? Tyrande literally killed Sylvanas’ bae. Why in the world would anyone grab Baine of all people? He’s the NPC equivelent of “Take your younger brother with you” on an Adventure.
Oh No. Jania went to hell. Vanndrel’s like ridiculously devoted to Jaina. Am I seriously going to have to incorporate Shadowlands into my character history?
The Maw is…a place. A iLevel 96 and constant AI companions it was hardly challenging but outside a bunch of Cloth, there’s nothing there. I’m glad to know I’ll be able to skip it moving forward because I’ll be blunt - it was a slog. Story Rich environments should not be slogs, but here we are.
The quest to get Thrall a weapon that is just right should not exist in the Year of Our Lord 2022.
“The Jailer’s forces outnumber the Legion!” Calm down Baine, it’s literally one fortress and a dude without a shirt.
Why can’t the First Ones just be the Shadowlands term for Titans? Why do they have to be a different thing?
So the Arbiter was responsible for shunting souls into the appropriate afterlife until SOMETHING happened (I’m curious what nonsense will be the something). And now all souls go to Super Hell. And everyone’s…fine with it. The Protectors even hassle you for “smelling of the Maw”, despite these guys knowing everyone is being shunted to the Maw.
For that matter, why are we in the canonical death realm anyway? The Eternal City feels like Naaru tech. With exceptionally minor tweaking, this expansion could be less “Sylvanas teams up with a Death Robot and Makes It Everyone’s Problem” and be more “Sylvanas teams up with an Alien Robot and Makes It Everyone’s Problem”. I feel like this expansion exploring worlds in the aftermath of the Burning Crusade would bluntly make a lot more sense then just “Well, the sole judge of souls is unconscious. Better shunt 'em all to Super Hell where there is no escape.”
I mean, it’s cool they blew off the dust of the Knights of the Ebon Blade to let them do something with, but right now there’s nothing about this expansion that screams “The land of death” to me. Also I feel like cinematics just kinda start and end with weird logic. The Jailer yeets Baine and then Thrall yells Noooo (Take a shot) we all rush forward and…cinematic ends, we’re suddenly with Baine in a safe place. Wait, we skipped some steps.
Oh and I forgot the first quest. I missed the first “clue” because it’s literally behind the player when they get given the quest, so I spent a solid ten minutes trying to figure out why I was finding Jania but she was immediately despawning for me. The Maw actually had some decent visuals but the quest structure felt…amateurish. I know Blizzard has had major brain drain over the past ten years, but this quest structure was what I’d expect off an Early Access Free to Play Mobile MMO ported to Steam, not the genuine king of the genre.
Apparently they tried to yoink Tyrande but she punched them all.
Continuing the very important rule that night elves are terrifying competent wrecking balls that will destroy everything… Until the story is focused on them, in which case they’re lucky to be able to walk and breath at the same time.
I still love how the Jailer holds Bane up and says something like “I find this one… lacking,” and just drops him. It’s how I feel when trying to make Tauren on the character creator.
Yeah all the criticisms seriously aren’t being blown out of proportion. It really is that bad. This video remains so vindicating for someone like me who suffered through this plot as it was drip fed over 2 years.
It really hit differently to someone who had the exact same reactions to the plots as I quested through it.
In real time I actually could not believe how awful the Night Warrior vs Sylvanas cinematic was when I did the story for the first time. Tyrande kills a nameless mob then loses her fight with Sylvanas because the writing literally just said she had to and stripped her of her powers at that convenient time. My jaw literally dropped in disbelief at how stupid that was.
There’s genuinely no explanation why, only minor implications that Elune didn’t want her to die killing Sylvanas and yet that’s 100% only assumed by fans.
It really is something else experiencing it yourself lol. But hey, now you might be able to understand why people keep drooling about Denathrius’ all the time.
The real problem with Warcraft III Reforged is that they should have added a brief cutscene of the Jailer saying, “Yes, all according to plan” in between each campaign mission, to reflect his role as the Greatest Villain in All Lore who is behind everything that ever happened, ever, including the death of Old Blanchy, as pre-ordained in a secret 1999 meeting between one Christopher Metzen and a young Steve Danuser, not employed by blizzard at the time but studying carefully under the master to bring this epic tale to fruition decades in the future
It’d be really nice to have seen that. WoW’s done this before but Shadowlands feels really egregious thus far in “tell, don’t show”. Which could indicate how savaged their cinematic team has been if they could only animate Anduin’s capture.
Legit I have no idea why Baine is even here. That’s not even me trying to be mean/ha-ha about the whole character. Baine’s entire characterization within the whole of WoW has been pearl clutching and needing rescue. I really don’t know what the Jailer was expecting to find within Baine or why he was even grabbed, beyond Sylvanas being petty because Baine gave Jania back her resurrected Brother.
Right now it isn’t super bad, just…not to the same sort of quality even Battle for Azeroth was. Or maybe what BfA started out as. I remember BfA kept getting more and more pants on head the further in we got, but the initial zones + Uldir didn’t have this narrative whiplash.
The horrifying part is I legit can’t tell if this is sarcasm or real, since I’ve stayed well away of Reforged to keep my memories of enjoying WC3 intact.
I like how Shadowlands is all, oh no the jailer is bad and the maw is superhell and also super bad.
Yet when you step back and realize that majority of the souls just get grinded down into soul juice to power the boring afterlife realms. It’s honestly its own kinda hell.
If you’re one of the lucky ones you get to have the four options which are all pretty questionable. Go to Bastion and join a cult! Sent to Revrendreth and become a greyish vampire human. Go to Ardaeweald and maybe be a sparkly dog? Otherwise there’s also Maldraxxus and become a spoopy skeleton to fight in the skeleton wars.
The overall story is indeed a hot pile of molten schist. But some of the smaller zone storylines are actually quite good and a handful of characters are definitely worthwhile! Theotar the Mad Duke and Prince Renathal, and Plague Deviser Marileth are some of my favorite new characters. Marileth’s storyline in Maldraxxus particularly broke my heart. And when I hugged him at the end I was rewarded beyond my expectation of what Blizzard was capable.
I think they do. Maybe because the small stories are written by singular people and the overall story is a collaboration? I don’t know but whatever the reason Blizzard really seems to struggle with the big stuff.
This is the biggest reason I have hope for Dragonflight - if it’s an exploration story, with lots of smaller-scale stories, then surely the prior side quest writers can do a good job with them?
I am dreading that a later patch will try to lead back into cosmic battles, however. Please just let us fight a giant undead Galakrond or Murozond again. I’d really, really prefer facing a big dragon to… whatever the heck Shadowlands was supposed to be.
I’m pretty sure that the whole Night Warrior arc was just a bone tossed to try to placate those people still angry over Teldrassil (because Blizzard couldn’t understand why people were still angry over Teldrassil. The story moved on - why won’t these stubborn whiners move on, too?). Tyrande gets some pretty neat new cosmetics, gets some lines now and then to show she’s still totally relevant and active, guys… and never actually influences the plot. Anything she accomplishes (and/or fails at) is something that would have happened anyways if her character was not included.
And I don’t even think that’s a bad thing, really - it’s quite useful to have a character who is present only to voice the thoughts/feelings the player might have, without getting in the player’s way as they do the important hero stuff. In fact, I want more of those types of recurring characters.
But that role is absolutely not fitting when the character’s plot starts with “oh no, she absorbed ~spooky ominous powerup~ which is so powerful that she might explode! What is she going to do with this ~immense power~?”
The answer shouldn’t be “Nothing significant, now shut up and move on.”
Her transformation and epic cutscene in Darkshore? Sira and Delaryn still get raised, the zone gets taken back by the warfront efforts with the Night Warrior MIA. (As for Ashenvale, where she was speculated to have been? It’ll be won by the Alliance in a tweet, and years later when they want to feature it again, suddenly there will have been plenty of Horde settlements still in it.)
Killing Nathanos? He was already brought down by the raid.
Slaughtering her way through the Maw? Yay, less faceless, unimportant mobs for the player to fight. (Who wouldn’t be added to the encounter in the first place except to show off that Tyrande is powerful, really.) I’m sure no one would ever have decided to go rescue the night elf souls if Tyrande wasn’t there.
Fighting Sylvanas? Sylvanas wins anyway, the sigil gets taken anyway.
Judging Sylvanas? Tyrande’s choice… upholds the status quo. Sylvanas gets put on ice until the writer thinks it’s safe to bring her back to play with her again.
I could go on about Tyrande/Teldrassil/that whole story beat, but I think I should stop before I get so bitter that I curdle my cup of hot chocolate.
I think they are saving Tyrande to be the next Sylvannas… the writers shove her in and wont let her die and 3 expacs later we’re all sick of her. And then smarmy redemption/vindication ending!
And then Blizz can sit there wondering why everyone (exept the hardcore fanboys) is disgusted with how the (mis)handled it.
