Uhhhh hey guys

Wyrmrest Accord
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I took the liberty and asked Chatgpt to write your character’s death I hope you like it

In the mystical realm of Azeroth, the ancient lands of Kalimdor were bathed in moonlight as a female night elf warrior named Gwyneth prepared for her final battle. With her eyes glimmering like stars and her silver hair flowing behind her, she stood as a beacon of courage and strength. Gwyneth had devoted her life to protecting her people and maintaining the delicate balance of nature, but little did she know that her final adversary would be a seemingly harmless baked potato named Archibald, and his nefarious criminal gang of 80s band Wham! impersonators.

Deep within the enchanted forests of Ashenvale, whispers of Archibald’s misdeeds had reached Gwyneth’s ears. It was said that this sentient baked potato had gained dark sentience and amassed a gang of miscreants who disguised themselves as members of the legendary band Wham! from the long-forgotten 1980s. The group, known as “Wham! and the Spuds,” had been sowing chaos and mayhem throughout the realm, using their music and dubious talents to deceive and rob innocent villagers.

Gwyneth, armed with her shimmering elven blade and clad in armor forged from the ancient trees of Teldrassil, ventured forth to confront this unusual threat. Determined to put an end to the potato’s reign of chaos, she followed the trail of mischief, her heart a mix of determination and curiosity. What kind of foe could a sentient baked potato truly be?

As she tracked the criminal gang’s whereabouts, Gwyneth discovered their hideout in a secluded glade deep within Felwood. The air crackled with an unnatural energy, and the faint echoes of Wham!'s iconic tunes drifted through the trees. Unfazed, the night elf warrior braced herself, ready to face this absurd yet dangerous challenge.

Entering the glade, Gwyneth found herself surrounded by Wham! impersonators, each adorned in flashy '80s attire, from neon jumpsuits to extravagant hairstyles. Archibald, the sentient baked potato, perched atop a throne constructed from cassette tapes and vinyl records, surveyed his dominion with an audacious grin.

“Ah, Gwyneth! I’ve been expecting you,” Archibald taunted. “Prepare to be amazed by the power of Wham! and the Spuds!”

The potato gang members swayed rhythmically, as if controlled by an invisible conductor, and a surge of magical energy filled the air. Archibald’s eyes glowed with an eerie light as he commanded his comrades to attack.

Gwyneth fought valiantly, her blade slicing through the air with precision. However, the Wham! impersonators possessed an otherworldly agility and mesmerizing dance moves that made them elusive targets. They evaded her strikes with grace, occasionally breaking into synchronized dance routines mid-battle.

Meanwhile, Archibald, the enigmatic leader, used his supernatural potato powers to hurl bolts of magical energy at Gwyneth. The blasts were infused with the echoes of “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” making it difficult for her to focus and counterattack.

Despite the bizarre circumstances, Gwyneth refused to yield. She drew upon her elven heritage and unleashed a devastating flurry of strikes, temporarily dispersing the Wham! impersonators. The tide seemed to turn in her favor, but Archibald, the malevolent potato, still loomed.

As Gwyneth launched her final assault, Archibald unleashed his ultimate power—an ear-splitting rendition of “Careless Whisper” amplified by his magical potato energy. The haunting melody reverberated through the glade, leaving Gwyneth momentarily disoriented and vulnerable.

Seizing the opportunity, Archibald transformed into a colossal baked potato golem, his form towering over Gwyneth. With a thunderous stomp, he sent shockwaves rippling through the earth. The night elf warrior summoned the last of her strength, striking at the golem’s starchy core, but her blows proved futile against its formidable defense.

In a climactic clash, Gwyneth fought bravely, but the baked potato golem’s sheer power overwhelmed her. With a crushing blow, Archibald struck her down, her body falling lifelessly to the ground. As her spirit departed, Gwyneth’s sacrifice would forever be remembered.

News of Gwyneth’s final battle spread across the realm, and bards composed ballads of her courage and the bizarre circumstances surrounding her demise. The tale of a night elf warrior, felled by a sentient baked potato and his Wham! impersonators, became a legend whispered among the denizens of Azeroth.

Though Gwyneth’s journey ended tragically, her spirit endured. Her memory would inspire future generations to rise against the darkness, reminding them that even in the face of the most absurd adversaries, courage and resilience could prevail. And so, Gwyneth’s name would forever echo through the annals of history, a testament to the unpredictability of Azeroth’s battles and the indomitable spirit of its heroes.

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102

I will accept no ending other than this one as canon tbh

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Incredible

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Insert canon event meme here

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I wish I was an elf

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I wish I was a Dragon.

Imagine being able to sleep for years.

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I feel like Malfurion’s already got the monopoly on that. Had a snooze for 10,000 years while his wife remained true, waiting for him to return. Then he woke up for 2 years, went back to sleep for another 7, stayed awake for another 11, and then friggen voluntarily died because 11 years was a little too long to be conscious apparently.

I wanna sleep like Malfurion.

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I wanna fart like a riverbeast.

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I wanna lounge like a lion

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For the sake of the rest of the raid, you stay at the back of the pack.

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snaps fingers
Granted

In the mystical realm of Azeroth, where countless adventures unfolded, an Orc Shaman named Gentarn had earned a reputation for his incredible wisdom and unwavering dedication to the elements. Known for his deep connection with the spirits, Gentarn possessed a longing that burned within him—a desire to experience the majestic power of dragons firsthand. Little did he know that his longing would soon be granted in the most peculiar way.

One fateful evening, as the skies blazed with hues of gold and crimson, Gentarn found himself deep in meditation, seeking guidance from the spirits. Suddenly, an ethereal dragon spirit materialized before him, its radiant scales shimmering in a kaleidoscope of colors. It spoke with a voice that echoed through his mind.

“Gentarn, noble Shaman of the Horde,” the spirit intoned. “Your unwavering dedication and yearning have reached the ears of the Great Dragonflight. As a reward for your steadfastness, we shall grant you the form of a magnificent dragon, that you may experience their power firsthand. But remember, all magic comes with its own quirks and trials.”

With a surge of mystical energy, Gentarn’s form began to change. His Orcish muscles swelled, his skin became scales, and his limbs transformed into mighty wings. As he took his first flight, soaring through the clouds, Gentarn marveled at the newfound strength coursing through his veins.

Eager to test his powers, Gentarn flew high into the sky and let out a resounding roar that shook the very foundations of the earth. He felt invincible, like a force of nature itself. But as he reveled in his newfound abilities, a strange sensation began to grip him—a feeling he hadn’t anticipated.

Gentarn’s dreams, usually mundane and unremarkable, became peculiar and downright bizarre as a dragon. Each time he closed his enormous, reptilian eyes to rest, his mind was plagued with the strangest dreams. In one, he found himself dancing with gnomes in a ballroom filled with jelly. In another, he was a renowned painter creating landscapes with a brush made of sausages. And in yet another, he raced through the forests on stilts, chasing an elusive squirrel that spoke fluent Draenei.

Amidst these surreal dreams, Gentarn also faced an unexpected challenge. As a dragon, he found himself plagued by constipation of epic proportions. His great dragon belly rumbled and groaned, causing him discomfort as he tried to navigate the skies. Though he could unleash the fury of the elements upon his enemies, he was unable to relieve his own physical distress.

Undeterred by these unusual circumstances, Gentarn resolved to embrace his new form and make the most of his dragon nap. He discovered that while his dreams were peculiar, they brought a sense of amusement and whimsy to his slumber, offering a respite from the chaos of battle and the responsibilities of being a shaman.

With each passing day, Gentarn learned to accept the strange intricacies of his dragon form, finding solace in the joyous absurdity of his dreams. He continued to fight for the Horde, using his newfound powers to protect his allies and vanquish their foes.

And so, Gentarn, the Orc Shaman turned magnificent dragon, soared through the skies, bringing both awe and laughter wherever he went. Though constipated and plagued by peculiar dreams, he remained steadfast in his resolve, a true testament to the resilience and adaptability of the heroes of Azeroth.

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I wish I had a portal gun.

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Snrk

Love it. Was that AI generated?

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Yes. I’m too lazy to write all of that.

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Even skynet knows I’m weird, talk too much and eat too much junk food!

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Aw, I missed the political discourse over how to best classify armed religious reactionaries in a geopolitical context by a couple of days.

…

The hell with it, we’re doing this anyway!

…

There’s a growing fad to start throwing around the “Fascist” label on organizations we fundamentally disagree with. This is dangerous because it’s a common tactic utilized by actual Fascists to pretty much render the definition meaningless (Kind of like how the actual Not-Cs poisoned that particular well of online discussion of their activities by fostering an online enviornment that, for a decade, just started calling anyone who disagreed with them a Not-C).

The Silver/Scarlet/Argents are not fascists. There’s fascist elements to each of them, but that’s more just an overlap of methodology.

The Silver Hand was a byproduct of the First War, when the Priests of the Light who survived the destruction of Stormwind realized their pacifist philosophy was meaningless in the oncoming tide of demonic corruption that was the Old Horde. This represented the first major doctrinal shift within the veneration of the Light on Azeroth, as up to this point not even the High Elves had sought to “weaponize” the Light. It was a move born out of desperation and of ignorance, as the doctrine of the Light on Azeroth was not equipped to understand at the time that the Light is neither benevolent or malevolent, it simply exists. (Even the Blood Elves labored under the delusion that the Light must be “taken” and bent to one’s will, demonstrating how utterly naive the races of Azeroth were when it came to this fundamental force).

With that ignorance in mind, it’s no wonder the Scarlet Crusade arose as it did. You’ve decided to arm the clergy with “holy” magics that fundamentally damage creatures of the Twisting Nether and Shadowlands. Of Course they’re going to operate under the assumption that their cause is just and righteous, because the Light is just and righteous and therefore if it’s still working then that means it’s the right thing to do.

The Scarlets started out as a bunch of scared people trying to make sense of a world flipped upside down filled with creatures from nightmare. Then they got infiltrated by a bunch of Dreadlords, whom we now fully understand were working with the Jailer…being used against his own minions of the Lich King whom they themselves created but claimed to have gone rogue but they weren’t going rogue but doing the actual bidding but even after the Burning Legion were beaten back the Dreadlords maintained the cover story that they were working for the Legion and not the Jailer and that’s why Rick Grimes had to go back to the Island to fight the Smoke Monster so Homelander could go get Pizza Rolls from Marble Hornets and my nose is bleeding.

ANY WAY

The Scarlets went Religious extremist mixed with a healthy dose of Human Supremacy (The Scarlet Monastery showcase Elf and Dwarf members of the Scarlets, but by the time of World of WarCraft the Crusade is very much a Human-centric endeavor and by the time of the Scarlet Onslaught they’ve gone completely off the reservation in a Militaristic Theocracy to make the God-Emperor of Mankind proud. The God-Emperor, in this instance, is a Dreadlord).

The Argent Dawn/Crusade is the Scarlet Crusade’s “course correction”. The Scarlets were pushed off course by the machinations of the Legion/Jailer (Don’t think about it), and the Argents were basically the “OG Scarlet Crusade”. The ones naive enough to believe the Light was still some extension of omniscience (“The Light…Will…Protect…MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”). They’re still stuck on this idea that since it can be hurt by the Light, that makes it intrinsically evil.

They aren’t necessarily wrong in that diagnosis give what WoW presents us with, but that’s more a flaw of the fact Blizzard establishes these universal constants and variables and then proceeds to ignore them in favor for whatever seems cooler at the time. Because who gives a toss about world consistency? Just us nerds, and if you work at Blizzard Entertainment, you aint no Nerd!

If you got to the end of this ramble, I’m sorry. I started this with the full intention of trying to real-world classify the Silver Hand, Scarlet Crusade, and Argent Dawn/Crusade’s governmental/belief systems and got derailed by the fact the Scarlet Crusade’s motivations ultimate stem from dudes playing dudes disguised as other dudes with the current lore and realized it’s pointless to try to classify any group in this game as being [Insert Political Ideology Here] because the way WoW operates that could change by the next expansion. Hell, the King of Stormwind went from first among equals of Alliance leadership to being the HIGH KING and absolute Dictator of the Alliance, because Authoritarianism is hip and cool and it means we don’t have to listen to the stupid Council of Three Hammers infighting or having Malfurion tell Tyrande to hush.

Closing Statement: It’s all a game and I’ve been conned into devoting a good portion of my actual life (I am 40, ffs) into being invested in this fictional universe that its creators and curators clearly can’t give a fart on the toilet about.

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This is actually a really good post and I’m going to bookmark it and come back to discuss.

That said, I want to quickly agree on one point.

There are currently many individuals and groups in real life these days that consistently get labeled as fascist when aKsHuLLy, they should be labeled as authoritarian. That however, is another topic for another time.

Also:

I don’t care if someone says I invest too much time and money in a gAmE at “my age”.

There are millions of people around the world who spend thousands upon thousands of dollars a year to watch their favorite sports ball teams, root for them, etc when the truth is that the owners and many of the players don’t give AF about the fans. There are many hobbies people have and nothing is wrong with any of them.

Live your life. Do your thing.

I’ve been playing WoW consistently since 2009. Dabbled a bit before but nothing substantial. I’m going to be 50 this year(!). I have 4 kids who are all successful in life and ex-wife who is still my best friend and partner in making that our #1 priority. I’ve had one career in life already (as I’ve posted on these forums) and am embarking on a second. I’m an adult with disposable income. I spend it on many things, including playing a Gnome named Norman in this WoW universe.

Life is way too short to give AF about what anyone else thinks about how you live your life and what do you.

Don’t hurt people. That’s the only rule.

Go be an Elf Vanndrel. Be the best Elf you can be.

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You misunderstand my little existential crisis a bit there. I’m still going to enjoy WarCraft as a franchise. I’ve enjoyed WarCraft since I was a literal child. Since the early days of WoW, the franchise has changed and evolved and “facts” about it have changed.

I actually don’t hate the fact over the course of that ramble I realize throughout WoW’s lifespan we’ve come to fundamentally alter our perceptions on The Light. Back during Burning Crusade, the Blood Elves “seizing” the Light made sense. Looking back on it now, with the full weight of over 15 years of storytelling, that’s a delightfully naive take. I like that.

I’m also not begrudging the fact the game’s narrative has well and truly collapsed under its own weight. Nearly 20 years of continuous story and it only really fell to pieces in the last 5. That’s actually kind of impressive, especially since the only things we really have to compare that kind of thing to are book series. And yeah, when you look at the Dune novels or Wheel of Time…it took substantially less than 20 years for the stories to go full on Pants-on-Head.

I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve enjoyed WarCraft. Hell, I resubbed for a month just to fiddle around and I too enjoy the Trading Post immensely (And am slightly infuriated I can’t figure out a decent transmog with the hood options). It’s no different from any fandom though when something you immensely enjoy kind of wanders into territories you can’t follow (The Walking Dead, Lost, Boys, and Marble Hornets references were deliberate). You don’t begrudge anyone from still enjoying it, loving the new content…it just changed.

I’m still on the fence with Dragonflight. I hear a lot of good about it, but being honest the Dragons were some of the least interesting aspects of WoW for me. But I’ve been here before. I keep waiting for the next Siege of Ogrimmar trailer or Warbringers: Jania cinematic to lure me back into the next expansion.

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I didn’t think this thread was a place for pleasant, insightful discourse between reasonable and mature adults. I’ll see myself out.

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Txt me back on discord :mending_heart:

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