i’d rather chainsaw my arm off and die of blood loss then be alive and subjected to possible uzumaki tier event.
in 2199 nobody plays those ancient games you had to play on giant machines while staring into a big old flat lightbulb. Blizzard is long gone and so is WoW.
Dunno what it’ll be OP, but it’ll have housing.
If it is 2199, it is time for the Yamato!
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The year is 2199. I enter my WUS (Wake Up Simulation) and drink a cup of coffee, in reality a chemical powder mixed into a mug of hot, reclaimed wastewater. Finishing my coffee I enter my HOGS (Home Office Gaming Simulation) and log into wow, in reality a pizza-box sized, cardboard box I repetitively tap according to the prescribed algorithms. At precisely 12:00:00 I enter my LAPS (Lunch and Personal Simulation) and eat a sandwich, in reality a tablet made of crushed arthropods, then visit the restroom, in reality a tube sucking ejected bodily waste material into the COR (Central Offal Repository). I return to HOGS and resume processing until Artificial Daylight ends, at which time I enter my SARS (Sleep and Renewal Simulation), in reality the same metal chair my protoplasm has been propped on since Initial Processing. The year is 2199. I enter my WUS (Wake Up Simulation) and drink a cup of coffee.
If each individual strand of fur on the Pandaren isn’t individually animated and physics enabled, I don’t want to play it. Hopefully Pandaren Warlocks will be a real option by then.
There will be no WoW by then.
Well I’ll be dead in 2199 after a mysterious company called vault tec created by an unknown person who will never be identified will launch the first nuke on the 23rd of October in the year 2077 causing Armageddon 
World of Warcraft: The Crystals of Gingledoof
- Scale the towering peaks of storm-blown Fliggindorf
- Conquer the Keep of Klingiff, and obtain the fabled malleable crystal weapons of Gingledoof
- Unlock new possibilities of travel with the Boots and the Bits of Blingriff
- Step sideways out of time to adventure with your Classic friends in the Trials of Floomboof
- Join Crundle and his misfit crew in their epic quest to bring violence to the lands of Gingledoof
- Defeat the legendary Dancer-mancer Zardizak, and unlock access to the mystical realm of the Dance Studio
- Enslave a Naaru with the aid of Grand Warlock Thrakker-zod and earn account-wide access to the Paladin class for all races
- Buy an expansion
- Give us money
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We will have internet 2.0 with safe spaces where we can’t harm players virtually because people will become anxious, we will have no taverns because alcohol is harmful, all the races will be genderless to avoid offending people’s identities, the females will be bigger than the males characters because Darwin was wrong ideology overlaps evolution, all the characters will be fat because of fat acceptance if we have just one slim race walking around it will make people anxious. We will be unable to communicate virtually because of social anxiety and because it is impossible to formulate a full phrase without using prohibited words and pronouns, we can’t just say that we can’t because “WE” is fluid and “to say” is too imposing and oppressive, and can’t is a negative which demoralizes people from believing they can because Bobama said we can so the can’t is not allowed anymore and just is a reactionary word.
Whatever it is, we’ll still have to buy the expansion like always. However:
- We’ll also have to buy each individual race, class, zone, dungeons, raids, quest, skill, item, etc from the DLC shop.
- Completing a quest will take 1 hour from the moment of turn in, but you’ll be able to pay to speed it up.
- Crafting and gathering will also have pay-to-accelerate mechanics.
- Speaking in zone chat will cost a single-use item each time.
- EA Activision Enix Ubisoft Blizzard will have brought back the real money auction system from Diablo numberwhateveritwas.
- Each queue you join will require a fee, with a larger fee to cut to the front.
- You’ll be able to auto-complete dungeons and raids of any difficulty by paying, with harder difficulties being more expensive.
- The telecom/cable corporations will have finally won the open internet battle, so we’ll all be on metered internet plans where access to WoW requires your ISP’s special premium “Games and Entertainment” subscription package.
- America’s Cold Civil War will have finally concluded so you’ll at least see fewer people whining about having to treat other people with some dignity, so at least there’s that.
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