Anecdote; I started sometime into the early ARR era. I had a couple lads drag me in and we made up our own group so we could clear the dungeons without randoms.
At first I was doing alright, not sold on anything particular but overall at least being entertained by my massive meaty roegadyn thaumaturge.
But between the lot of us, we needed a tank, and since no one else would bother I picked up Marauder since I could do that on one character.
My experience plummeted. The TP cost to maintain AoE threat was absurd, the GCD was abysmal, the aesthetic and animations were on point but I didn’t have a single mitigation tool for 50 levels. Maybe closer to 40, I don’t recall, either way. The group content was spread so thin and I didn’t care for the story that interrupted my gameplay every couple minutes because I was just struggling to find a level or skill where my gameplay would improve. Spoilers; it never came.
Anyways I played with them to 50, we beat the base story experience up to the big 8 man dungeon, and entered into the endgame proper. And I tossed the whole thing into the trash and didn’t come back for years. Literal years.
Friends tried to coax me back with the announcement of Heavensward and the scaly race and focus on dragons on the narrative but I felt like the bridge had already burned. People explained all the cool new features and I shrugged everything off because I had already given up on the product.
And then when Stormblood was set to release, yet again some friends (different ones by now) were all gung ho to get together and get in on the cool new experience and they wore me down. Someone offered to cover me for a fantasia (full race/customization redo) and told me I could start with my existing character and pick up SAM without skipping a beat. So I did.
I don’t know how or what really changed, but the freedom to sort of approach the game back at my own speed and on my own terms gave me the room to breathe I needed. I gradually regained interest in the narrative despite how slow it came across and grindy the road to 70 was. SAM was significantly more fluid and fulfilled the sort of deliberate rotation I was looking for, and aesthetically much more in line with what I had been craving, apparently. Weebs represent.
And even despite becoming substantially more invested by the time I reached the new endgame at 70, I still ended up unsubbing until the Shadowbringers announcements. And when I came back, I picked up like I’d left nothing behind and easily stepped right back into the story and my class and the end game grind.
I don’t know if this is the kind of story anyone needs to hear, I just felt like giving this one out. MMO’s are designed in such a way that it can feel like any time youre not playing is wasted, and people emphatically argue about which one is better or why the one they don’t like is bad. (Especially me). If there is any one point I could emphasize about FFXIV, it’s that you never know how or when it may, or may not, work for you.
Change classes, change race, get a new glam, pick up crafters, try some minigames, join a guild, leave a guild. Take a break. By god above all though, don’t suffer as I did and try to make yourself tough through it just because people implied you should, or because you feel obligated to. Chip at it, put it down, come back, or don’t. Just don’t let anyone bully you for not feeling it.