The Curious Case of the Murder of Roland the Knife

Ok, so, I have a tendency to get preoccupied with irrelevant problems.

Shut up, it’s a living.

So, ok, you know that quest in Drustvar where the ghost of Lucille Waycrest’s fiance sends you to go get their wedding ring? And then, once you touch that ring, the power of ghost goo shows you visions of the past, allowing you to see the wedding, and the mercenary attack, with your own eyes?

Turns out, the groom was killed by the greatest WoW character who ever lived; Roland the Knife. Never before has there been a shining exemplar of professionalism in all of the lore. Not only does he look absolutely ballr, but as he shoots Alexander Treadmill in the back, he says the classic, iconic line; “Nothing personal, kid.”

Even though he never attacks me personally, I immediately start bleeding profusely just by being in the vicinity of this incredible edge.

I chase down Roland the Knife so that I can continue to learn more from him about kids and personal business. This is the part of the quest where I get to see who employed Roland the Knife, and then I must do the unspeakable; I have to kill him. Doing so causes the vision to fade and I am back in the present day once again, standing next to the bones of Roland the Knife, with the contract signed by Lady Waycrest on his person.

And that’s where my curiosity resides. If the entire quest was a vision designed to show me the truth of the situation, then I couldn’t have been the one to actually kill Roland the Knife. Unless, of course, the power of ghost goo sent me…back in time? But no, that’d be ridiculous. Time travel has no place in WoW, after all.

So the mystery continues. Who killed Roland the Knife? We must find out, for only the most abhorrent of individuals would dare remove such a precious meme boi from our society.

In the meantime, rest in peace, Roland the Knife. It was nothing personal… kid.

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That’s…a good question. Who did discover Lady Waycrest being a saturday morning cartoon villain and kill Roland?

Not only that, but they left the incriminating contract on his person! So clearly they didn’t do it out of revenge or because they were some kind of lawful authority.

We need to get to the bottom of this. And soon.

#justicefortheknife

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I’m more concerned about the loose end it leaves. I don’t like those. Loose ends usually come up and try to kill me.

I wish I could repeat the quest to see him say “Nothing personal, kid”

I figure he was killed by Lady Waycrest.

She’s not exactly the type to stick to a bargain.

omae wa mou shindeiru!

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…Nani?

Strange beeping noises

Look at her and tell me she could actually kill a guy like him by herself to cover it up, then leave incriminating evidence behind.

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You had me at “I have a tendency to get preoccupied with irrelevant problems.”.

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Lady Waycrest was innocent the entire time and the evidence was faked.

It just didn’t matter in the end because she decided to go full villain witch anyway.

This is the only theory that seems to make sense given the in-game circumstances.