So, WTF Are We Doing With Calia?

Lore Story Forum
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So as you may know, roughly 90% of my characters are Forsaken. And I’m also an avid RPer, which is why most of my characters are Forsaken. Because their starting point as a character who has lost so thoroughly they died and have been given a second chance via dark rebirth as essentially a new species is the most compelling writing prompt in the game and whole genre. Full stop. No arguments please. I’ve entrenched this hill and intend to die on it, march upon it at your own risk.

But this of course means I’ve played the Reclamation of Lordaeron quest a truly nauseating amount of times. I can recite it from memory at this point. And one nagging question is;

Why am I so attracted to Lilian Voss?

Also - the the thread title.

Seriously what is the point of Sparkles the Mormon Flesheater? The way I see it there are three paths here;

This is where we keep Calia basically as is. And as a part of the Forsaken I believe she could play this role excellently. One token Stacy undead made out’ve puppy dog kisses and literal sunshine serving as figurehead and existing only to attend weddings, kiss babies and wave to camera could be a fantastic addition to the Forsaken.

I’ve felt for awhile their antics clearly need a straightman to bounce off of. Purely for the numbskulls in the audience, of which there are no shortage. Did you play the objectively comedic Sludgefields content wherein we rescue a character named Johnny Awesome and avenge his mount Sparkles and somehow think this was some loving tribute to the life and times of Joseph Mengele?

Of course not, you’re not a drooling idiot.

But plenty of ‘people’ did. So perhaps the Forsaken need a straight laced pretty white lady to have the jokes explained to. She’d work wonderfully as an audience surrogate in that regard. Then also have her continue her role of kicking around when the Forsaken need a boring character to attend boring stuff like a royal elf wedding.

If that’s the intention then wonderful job thus far. Just for the love of everything that skitters in the night and watches you while you sleep, please do not make her the Forsaken’s predominant representative.

So Sylvanas was certainly an adoptive mother for the Forsaken. But was tragically of the cruel fairytale stepmother variety. Suppose they had a real Night Mother though? A proper queen of the damned?

Calia is such a complete blank slate thus far that I found outrage about her bewildering. Because she’s the creative equivalent of a piece of sandwich bread. I’m more confused than offended by her. But suppose we dunk the white bread in the Temple Of Doom esque nightmare soup that is the Forsaken? There’s a billion excuses for this. The Forsaken live near rivers of the sort of chemical slop that birthed the Joker. Just contrive a reason to kick her into it.

But better yet;

Better yet, what if that darker, unnatural side starts to take over? What if she’s trying to heal some desperate wounded human but the blood flow is just a bit inticing? So she just, tries to pressure a wound with her mouth but then…

White is the best color to show off bloodsplatter with afterall.

Why don’t you suggest your idea for how Glenda the Good Ghoul could break bad if you don’t like mine?

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Well more leaving to get a different job. Fordring is dead and her plus Alonsos going to lead the Argents also sounds pretty sensible. Pretty much the most expedient way to be rid of the character.

But like c’mon she’s a weirdly tall bombshell in heels with a boob window. I’m a simple man I’m okay with being pandered too. I just prefer nightmare goth women who look like they just stumbled out’ve a methadone clinic. Yes my love life is as exciting as it is unproductive thanks for noticing.

So anyway those are my three options for Calia. She’s here, she’s anything but queer, and we will have to get used to her but I’ve never seen a more directionless “Who is this for?” character. And as the undead roster is like three C tiers and one B tier, having a heavy hitting name like Menethil isn’t something I feel I’ve the luxury to discard.

Shut up about Executor Twoquestlines from 10 years ago. That’s not a superior option. We work with the cards we have, not the hand we wish we were dealt.

So with that in mind I ask you;

WTF Do We Do About Calia?

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Look I only read half of this but I say we put her on a boat with an Ipad and just let it sail off.

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I only read the first word of your comment and have presumed, sight unseen, the rest of it is a completely off topic and horrific apology for French aggression in the early 19th century Peninsular War.

How do you sleep at night with such a cruel disregard toward the Spanish people?

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I only cry most nights =D

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I am quite partial to the idea of a Calia with ghoul struggles/vampire struggles, it seems like a more fun addition to the mad scientists and sociopaths.

I’d also like to say that the Desolate Council has a weird setup what with 2 of it’s 5 members essentially leading zero Forsaken. Clearing up some organizational placements would make the group feel more… legitimate.

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Yeah the Dark Rangers need to be clarified. I’m on record as hating them and the Darkfallen in general way more than Calia.

Because believe it or not I’ve praised the Sin’Dorei at length. I think they helped define the Horde not as a ‘noble savage’ aesthetic but as a true found family of disparate lunatics who have to lean on eachother to survive.

But they’re really edging in on the narrative and are starting to annoy me. Because they’re portrayed as bougie supermodels, and their womenfolk are bougie action supermodels with an insatiable lust for mandick. This is not compelling to anyone mentally above a 14 year old boy.

The Dark Rangers I feel should drop the elf act, because seriously screw the Dorkfallen, and be a collection of elf and human undead unseen path types. With some undead forest trolls thrown in as again, the Mossflayers are sapient undead trolls. Bizarre to me they have no interaction with the Forsaken. Seriously the undead faction doing undead stuff in the undead regions just cease to become part of the plot the milisecond you cross over into the Eastern bit of the Plaguelands.

We can also have some Blue aligned Kaldorei dark rangers who ride those vampire looking nightsabers. Ya know the ones made out of shadow with piercing red eyes? Look me in the eye and say that wouldn’t be cool as hell.

Plus maybe some of the undead human ones can be cowboys. And cowboys improve everything that isn’t a lecture on gun safety or the atrocities of American Manifest Destiny. Rest though is yeehaw, pew, pew. Great stuff.

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Her role is to find intelligent scourge and bring them into the fold. If the desolate council is ever going to be a thing she can’t be on it.

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We know that to Blizzard, it was important to have a Light Zombie, and they didn’t particularly care who the Light Zombie was. Therefore, I am convinced they have planted the Light Zombie for a specific purpose in a specific storyline. This will probably happen in the “Fight the Light” expansion, which I expect will be the next one or the one after that. They won’t take any steps to make Calia fit in better with the Forsaken until she has served her designated plot purpose.

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And I hope to God this is a SL idea that has been abandoned.

Seriously who was excited for this? Say it with your chest if you were because I am going to outright slander you.

Horrible idea. Just complete rancid garbage.

Look if someone really wants to see yellow bloom effects square up with purple particle effects, while they spout pseudo philosophical wank as written by some vapid yes-men corporate suck ups who’ve the AUDACITY to call themselves writers, then I’d say good for you but really I mean; May God have mercy on your soul.

I would genuinely prefer a feature length expansion on how shoe making works. Because seriously what do the ankle guards do for the many races that wear them as such?

Is it a fashion thing? Are they just putting them on wrong? Does Thunderbluff have a cobbler?! WHO IS MAKING SHAPE-SHIFTING BOOTS FOR WORGEN?!

Questions vastly more interesting than if purple and yellow can vibe.

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Zero chance.

Now that race conflicts (of which the faction conflicts are just an extension) are a no-no thing, vague cosmic forces battling each other for “reasons mortals can’t understand” is the new go-to theme sadly.

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Well then I’ll stop playing WoW again.

I’m not terribly worried about that prospect I’ve had to pick up and run with vague story ideas to have any fun here.

Why anyone wouldn’t rebel at this headass idea however is beyond me.

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I fully believe that Calia and Derek were being brought in to rehabilitate the forsakens’ image as a player race with Sylvanas’s departure. Something something “a Menethil broke them; what better than to have another Menethil fix them with the light and reclaim her rightful throne as the true heir to Lordaeron?”

Only for that to slam headfirst into a brick wall when so many fans rightly blew their gaskets over it. Because Sylvanas was more than just a woman leader for the horde; she WAS the forsaken, all of its ugliness and associated struggle that came with that. And it feels like they don’t know what to do with her now, other than whatever light-related thing they wanted to set up.

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Basically the most interesting thing they could do is play up the council, and the way they’ve chosen to do so is by making one member a strawman of non-royalist Forsaken identity and the rest, from the Alliance guy to the ex-Scarlet to the Dark Ranger orphaned by Scarlets, into Calia’s sycophants. Riveting.

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She is your new Sylvanas.

Hot undead lady that you can drool over.

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Sylvanas is at least an interesting character. More so than Calia.

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Eh…
At some point she were no longer ‘Sylvanas’.

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Still more fascinating than Calia in my opinion :blush:

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I personally dislike what they did to her because she as a character in Before a Storm was initially concerned about BOTH living and non-living lordaeranians. Now she is just focused on the Forsaken. She should have remain a third party and effectively trying to rally both living and non-living to her cause.

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Writing for the Forsaken is hard, so they’ve assigned you a new cult of personality to worship. What to do with her? Well. You can start with a new statue in Brill and see where it goes from there.

Agency? In the Forsaken story? No, no. Calia will make all the decisions for you once she’s settled in. You just build the statues.

On the subject of statues, am I the only one that thinks she looks more like one of the Titan “maiden of X” constructs than an undead?

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Too lazy to find my old post about it again but:

Step 1: Reality check

Have Calia reflect on how she’d just be accepted with open arms again (they did a speedrun at the end of SL but it was insufficient)

Calia meets with each aspect of Forsaken society:
*Helcular

  • Farannel
  • Abernathy
  • Gunther Arcanus
  • Velonara
  • Aelthalyste
  • Natalie Seline (with a slight retcon that she’s an undead shadow ascendant rather than living)
  • Alonsous
  • Jubeka
  • that one Gnome
  • some Abominations
  • slap in some Undead Drakkari for good measure
  • etc

reflecting the Military, the Cult/Church of Forgotten Shadows, etc

Step 2: Magical Surgery for the Forsaken, Magical Makeover for Calia

Have it be revealed that the Forsaken are sustained by Domination Necromancy but that it has Bad Side Effects.

But it is possible to replace the Domination Necromancy with Maldraxxi Necromancy, thus achieving a “perfected” undead state (no decay, no capacity for subjugation), etc.

So Calia heads to Maldraxxus where Sin’dane begrudgingly takes her under her wing since she has a modicum of competency in magic as dictated by the Primus.

She shows great ability, but one problem: The Light is intrinsically in conflict with Necromancy.

So much like she’s trying to help the Forsaken to prove herself, she needs to sacrifice her being imbued with the Light and become infused with both Domination Necromancy and then replace that with Maldraxxi Necromancy.

The doesn’t take away her ability to use the Light at all, just undoes the nonsense Golden did because of the aforementioned necessity of a Light zombie and the only reason we have to do deal with this is because she’s besties with a certain insufferable content creator Alliance main but I digress. No more porcelain waifu for Golden.

So she gets a Princess Diary Makeover via Necromancy, ends up slightly Lichified basically and also Banshee powers because of the nature of Domination magic crushing her soul.

Step 3: The Raison D'Etre Solution

Since Golden forced this nonsense that “Actually nobody in the Alliance hates Undeath/the Undead intrinsically”, there’s no reason for the Forsaken to exist politically as a group.

And likewise, thanks to Danuser, the Forsaken don’t have a metaphysical need to desire to continue existing, there’s no need nor upside to undeath per se.

So this needs to be mixed since it sucks that a playable race has no need, no reason, no purpose for existing as a people in any sense of the term.

So voila:

  • The Primus reveals the Maldraxxi cannot enter reality without a piece of their original body still existing on the planet in question.
  • The Ebon Blade is insufficient as the only guardians of ICC
  • The Primus asks Calia to ask the Forsaken to serve as an Auxillary House of Maldraxxus, helping the Ebon Blade guard the loci of Death on Azeroth
  • Likewise, the Primus recognizes the need for the Forsaken to continue existing, and so offers a suggestion: allow any Azerothian who is in Revendreth a do-over (Purgatory isn’t fun) if they so choose, and create Constructs and allow Maw-damned souls from anywhere to possess those Constructs to allow them the chance to live a better life and likewise avoid Revendreth.

And so: Forsaken are given a reason to continue exiting, a reason to continue reproducing in a way that is largely “ethical” and a bit of a cheatcode to avoid Purgatory, and some cool lore developments for everyone.

Added bonus: the squad raises Scholomance as the Overcity and a Warlock/SPriest Dalaran for the Horde

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