Annnnd every time the conversation leads to “so you must not like me then if you need space and time to be alone, or you must want to break up with me… right?”
What do you guys think? I honestly don’t want to break up with her, but at the same time she knows I’m an introvert and I don’t talk a lot to begin with. Yet I feel like I’m being accused or misread when I try to be open with her about how I am.
Just curious of opinions is all. I’m aware I’m not talking to relationship experts here on the WoW forums
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She’s trying to pull you out of your shell.
If you actually care about her, you’ll make an effort to be less introverted.
Relationships are all about compromise. I’ve been married for almost 25 years now because we compromise all the time.
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If a relationship can only exist by one person being forced to change, it’s doomed to fail, and the one demanding change doesn’t understand what a relationship is. A good, lasting relationship is built on compromise and commitment, to love someone when the passion ends. Date someone who’ll be your best friend.
I’d suggest trying to tell her, “No, you’re one of the few things in my life that actually make me feel relaxed and good. It’s just, sometimes, I might need you there, and nothing else. Sometimes, all anyone needs is to be around the people they like, whether or not they’re doing anything. You don’t need to say anything, or do anything, because just knowing you’re there will help me.”
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I wasn’t suggesting he (I’m assuming) does all the changing.
However, if he is committed to this relationship, he will attempt to change. in exchange, he can then ask for something that he wants.
If she becomes the unwilling party, then the table is turned.
Compromise is always a two-way street, I didn’t suggest otherwise.
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Compromise but don’t let it get one sided!
Go out with her sometimes but if she refuses to have a quiet night in or let you have some space in return its not going to work out.
Her response to your request sounds like classic guilt tripping to me but I may just be too jaded.
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It’s not compromise if it’s one sided.
Am I speaking the right language here? Do people understand definitions of words?
COMPROMISE MEANS BOTH WAYS PEOPLE.
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It’s not Sunday yet , no spam posts.
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I’m still trying to figure out how people got tripped up on the word “compromise”.
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My apologies, your wording made it sound as if he was the problem, when I don’t think that is the case. People are people. You cannot bring an extrovert, ‘out of their shell.’ They’re not shy, they’re naturally withdrawn. Suggesting they can even, ‘come out of their shell,’ makes it sound like they’re just being willfully non-social, rather than having a natural relaxed state in a more subdued environment.
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Bro sounds like shes gas lighting. You shouldnt feel guilt for who you are. All you can do is be honest. She either gets it or she doesnt.
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i’ve been told that in any relation ship you can be either correct or happy.
never both at the same time
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That is horrible advice. She is backing him into a corner by being passive aggressive with him.
If he is naturally introverted, then there is nothing he can do to change that. He can try to be more out-going, and maybe even succeed, but he will still feel like an introvert on the inside.
If you go into a relationship wanting to change someone, then it won’t work.
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every time the conversation leads to “so you must not like me then if you need space and time to be alone, or you must want to break up with me… right?”
Sounds like she wants to break up but doesn’t have the courage to be the one to end the relationship herself. Sorry bro.
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Compromise these days is more give her everything and you be happy she gives you the time of day. When someone starts talking about compromise I assume its instantly one sided to her favour. I totally agree with things being 50/50.
I know its mostly in jest but for example 'Happy wife, happy life" is an awful awful phrase yet its parroted and heard all over. For some reason you sacrificing everything for someone else is just mens lot in life.
I don’t want people to be unhappy I just want things to get evened out.
Both partners deserve equal, happy lives!
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The best relationship is one where you don’t need to explain yourself.
People like you for your positives. But they love you for your flaws.
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In my opinion: She’s coming from a place of insecurity when she makes that statement to you. While it’s important to compromise when in a relationship you cannot compromise who you are at your core. Making a demand to change only does one thing: Causes the person demanding the change to slowly lose respect for the person doing the changing.
If you are a true introvert and value your alone time, she needs to be understanding of that and allow you the time you need. Along that same line, you need to be cognizant of the time you spend without her. A healthy relationship needs to be worked on regularly.
I know you don’t want to see this… but you may have to let her go if she can’t respect your needs. Be open and honest with her and she needs to do the same for you. Honest communication is key.
I wish you success and happiness in this life.
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You’re looking to GD for relationship advice… Let that sink in.
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Chill out bro.
As an introvert, he likely isn’t surrounded by a circle of friends and GD is as close to that circle as he’s willing to expose himself to.
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Lol. Im an intj i know those feels. However this is not really the best place for that.
I’m the biggest introvert you’ll ever meet. No one should try to change you. That needs to be accepted or I’ll be happy to be a crazy cat person
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