Fishing is hard | 6.29.19
Boralus Bay
The sun is low on the western quadrant, its molten embers burning out at the edge of the Boralus harbor. Mifune Mountainbreaker sits quietly on his makeshift skiff, the piece of woodwork that took him three days of slow-going to finally fashion from the lumber he ‘borrowed’ from the lumber yard. He gives his fishing rod a little nudge, lets out a cavernous yawn, adjusts the contents of his pipe, and takes in a long, slow drag.
“This tobacco is som good stuff, Pragus”.
On the other side of the skiff, Lorekeeper Pragus Blessedfeet quietly nods, and ponders on about their measly haul for the day. “So far, we fished up what? Two shoes, an’ one’s big enough tah fit an ogre?”
“Aye, I dinnae understand what Bru finds enjoyable about this fishin’ stuff”.
Pragus slowly turns around, and raises an eyebrow. “So yer tellin’ meh, yeh stole all tha’ lumber and made us come on a fishin’ trip because th’ King said he was gonne do th’ same?”
Mifune reddens a little. “I never said that! We are fishin’ because I wanted tah fish, ya goof!” After a brief pause, he adds, “And besides, I’m sure I’d beh more fun to fish wit’ than Mumblebutt…”
Pragus lets out a loud chuckle, and the skiff becomes a little unsteady, threatening to toss out their hard-earned haul.
“Watch yerself back there!”
Pragus finally steadies himself, and pronounces, “Well I got news fer ye. No need tah be so sappy, Mountainbreaker. The King returns, an’ he has called us tah fight in Nazjatar tomorrow”.
“Nazjatar, eh? Well, time tah polish th’ ol’ sword an’ board. Dinnae think he’d beh back so soon. I bet they dinnae catch much up near Loch Modan either…”
Pragus raises a finger, and interjects, “Well actually, the King an’ Prince caught a giant Hali…”
Pragus ends up in the water before he can finish his sentence.
A King walks under the Sea | 6.30.19
South of Mezzamere
The next day, a motley crew of dwarves assemble at a crossroads outside Mezzamere. It is a sight to see: a paladin polishing her mace sitting on a mushroom, a warlock perusing and revising the last major incantation he had scribed into his grimoire, a priest and mage debating over the long term implications of harnessing azerite, a rogue staring daggers at a draenai hunter rushing by on her horse in the skimpiest clothing that barely leaves much to the imagination. Mifune stands in a corner, hefts his greatshield and practices setting it down defensively in the Nazjatar mud, carefully calculating the range of his dragon charge.
It takes an iron will and a really patient heart to lead this rambunctious lot of old veterans and young upstarts. And the grizzled figure atop his Stormpike Ram, slowly pacing up and down the road, is the dwarf that will do so: Bruenor Battlehammer, King under Blackrock Mountain, quietly watches his assembled party in battleworn plate, and studies his new surroundings. He expects a skirmish soon. The King quietly tugs at his beard, and straightens out the split ends while finalizing the battle plan in his head. He seems almost lost in thought staring through the eerie blue mist of the Nazjatar air. Until the radio crackles.
The radio feed from scout Kernen cuts in and out. “…approaching 12 horde…1 demon hunter leading…six others in the backlines…warlock seems to be bouncing up and down…wearing a purple robe with strange runes…”
Bruenor sighs: “That’s enough Kernen, I dinnae ask fer a fashion lesson, lad. Keep yer recon info short”. Several dwarves chuckle in the back, ol’ Grigglefoot being the loudest. Bruenor turns, and addresses his dwarves: “Aright kin, th’ horde approaches, and it’s good tah see we have more than 20 assembled tah figh’ em”.
An uncomfortable pause ensues.
“Should weh tell him?” wonders the warlock Balgeras aloud. “Aright. Ye mean a little more than ten? The rest on manta rays are oor bodyguards”.
The King seems displeased, and his brow furrows, “Bodyguards? I was wonderin’ wha’ meh dwarves are doin’ sittin’ on manta rays!”
In the backlines, you can almost hear Darrkale the deathknight, as he loudly exclaims something along the lines of, “Goddarn Blizzard!”.
The exchange between king and clan is interrupted by the approach of battle from down the road. The King turns his trusty ram around, and tightens the straps on his mail coif around his head. With seconds to spare, the King quickly lays down the battleplan for the initial melee clash, the feigned retreat, and the marked killzone for the ranged further up the road. The dwarven party takes position, and the horde finally show up ahead with, sure enough, a bouncing warlock.
A familiar lull settles before the battle, broken suddenly by a battlecry: “In the name of King Anduin and the Glory of the Light, charge my Brothers and Sisters! We will destroy the vile Horde where they stand, and purge the Unclean from Azeroth! CHARGE!”
A human paladin, a night elf demonhunter and a gnome warrior rush out from somewhere behind the dwarven party, meet the horde charge headfirst, and is immediately pounded to dust.
The dwarves quietly watch their antics. “Moonguard?” a kinsman inquires aloud.
“Aye two, and one Earthen-Ring feller”, Mifune responds. “Sharding amirite?”
As the distance closes quickly between dwarves and horde, the King raises a fist. “Everyone remember th’ plan, and the first person tah go past Star buys th’ next four round o’ drinks in Thunderbrew from Belm”.
That sets the dwarves straight into battle discipline. Nothing like the threat of buying four consecutive rounds of ale.
The skirmish rages for an hour. Mifune spearheads the vanguard, dragon-charging in and splitting the horde ranks while leaping out, to constantly keep the horde forces taunted. The taunt works long enough and the horde recklessly dive in, giving enough time for the warlocks, mages and hunters perched strategically on a giant boulder to burn them off. Stragglers are deathgripped in, and pyroblasts and chaos bolts finish the job. In the backlines, a dwarven healer or two beseech the Light, and work tirelessly to keep their kinsmen in fighting shape.
Eventually, the horde raid starts swelling in numbers, and the discipline of the dwarves isn’t quite enough to keep the advance in check. They are pushed back past the river. Mifune looks back, blood and dust caking his beard to check on his kin. Multiple horde rogues in the back driving poisoned daggers into Pragus, Balgeras and Grigglefoot. Bruenor and Ema Ironbraid surrounded by orc and tauren fighters on all sides.
The din of battle and the blood-curdling screams of foes and allies rage all about. The engagement seems finally lost. The dwarven ranks break, and he can hear Bruenor shouting for retreat.
Mifune briefly turns forward and sees a pair of giant wings eclipse the sky, as a snarling demon hunter beelines towards him. Mifune readies himself, and raises his greatshield.
The Underdog Life | 6.30.19
Mezzamere Camp
Later, the dwarves are back in Mezzamere, repairing their equipment and licking their wounds. Mifune sits on a rock, and fills his pipe with tobacco from his pouch. His helm put aside, Mifune quietly observes his fellow clansmen.
Night gathers finally. Kinsmen are beaming, shaking hands, and readying to head back to Boralus or Ironforge. Mifune smiles too. Tonight was a good fight, and that is all the dwarves had asked for, year after year. As underdogs, theirs was the struggle against the Horde Behemoth, the few versus the limitless many.
And yet, the clan would toil on, so long as a single dwarf draws breath.
And if not, well, he could always learn to enjoy fishing.