Pilgrim's Bounty... Boring!

Ok Blizz. You’re on a ‘campaign’ to revamp the holidays. That revamp campaign has seemingly already begun. So, what’s up with skipping this year’s Pilgrim’s Bounty? It’s not like it would be hard to come up with content or rewards. Ok, so maybe it is on next year’s agenda. But still…

Why aren’t there quests to deliver food to refugee camps and orphanages? You can make a separate quest for each. You can even make it a Food D.R.I.V.E. with multiple ‘race’ locations on existing roads to deliver food donations. Yeah, I went there.

Why isn’t there a boss event? Maybe some crazed, inept chef trying to make a name for themself by experimenting with fel/void energies in their recipes trying to create a ‘masterpiece’ meal for a food competition. Need more storyline to it? Okay. The crazed chef is in an upcoming food competition against Nomi, and he’s kidnapped Nomi’s son/daughter to pressure Nomi to back out of the competition. Of course, Nomi comes to us for help as the main protagonist of the story. We can even use our new detective tools to solve the case! We also might need a grown-up Li-Li to help us. (What Nomi gets to grow up, but Li-Li doesn’t?)

No dungeon to put a boss? Don’t need one. Every hour said Crazed Chef can release a bunch of fel/void infused turkeys on us in a major city every hour (rotating through major cities) and call it “Felter Skelter”. It can end with us having to fight a giant, fel-infused, aggro-immune, enraging wild turkey that has abilities like peck = quake, ground scratch/dust cloud = disorient, tail feather = bladestorm. Did you know a bunch of turkeys is also referred to as a “gang”? Sounds like vengeful turkey henchmen to me.

No ideas for rewards? How about new FUN food recipes or cosmetic cooking attire that will buff us and/or engulf us in flames (or similar) and works like a druid “Brambles” or shaman’s “Lightening Shield”. Add updated versions of “Felmouth Frenzy”, “Lightening Chops”, and “Dragon breath Chili”? All with effects that scale with us for a change. A new toy Bell that summons Nomi in a small food stand that we can summon in dungeons and raids in place of a mage table. Have a special quest to upgrade the mage table appearance (expansion themes: Panda table, Vrykul table, Guldan’s cauldron, etc.) and improved buffs so the new toy ‘food stand’ doesn’t make the mage table obsolete. The mage table expansion themes can be spread out over other holidays and timewalking events. Maybe the Pierre battle pet has a lost brother out there named “Gastron”… Gaston/gastronomic aka: food related, get it? …sigh*.

Then there’s the big question… holiday mount. Blizz, you seriously haven’t made a turkey mount yet? Basically, it is just a chicken (which you’ve already done) with extra tail feathers. Maybe Nomi commissioned the gnomes and goblins to make a Food ‘truck’/vehicle thing and Nomi can reward us with the schematics so we can commission one of our own. There are so many mount vehicle models to choose from here, but I’m thinking of a ground mount version of a Dirigible with tailgating and D.R.I.V.E. customization options: lights, horn, fireworks… a tailgate with a D.I.S.C.O. ball animation as a “/mount special” for a proper tailgate party. You can’t tell me the goblins wouldn’t sneak that in there. The gnomes, not to be outdone, might add a radio that plays some music scrolls similar to our garrisons. If you’re going to have a D.I.S.C.O. ball, you gotta have music. You can’t go down the road in your new “ride” with the top down and the wind blowing through your hair while charging toward the next battle and not play “Flight of the Valkyries” (or something similar). The ‘food truck’ customizations can also be spread out over other holidays and timewalking events.

P.S. Why hasn’t the Brewfest event expanded to Stormstout Brewery so we can finally be rewarded with an Alemental mount? Ya know, Uncle Gao didn’t seem all that ‘stable’ to begin with and might have finally gone completely off the rails after all these years. Maybe all that envy and greed has turned him into an “Alemental Sha-man”. Yes, I went there too.

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All he will rewards up with is charcoal and ash. Keep him away from food at all costs. Actually, he should be the holiday boss. Stop him from burning the house down.

As much as I like the idea of a Food Truck mount, there’s too many TW instances where you can’t mount, reducing it’s use.

and this event is a good way to get to 300 classic cooking in a few mins

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So glad I finished every PB achievement back in 2011. Avoiding this holiday is nice.