Honestly I only do the DE thing if the whisper is very rude. Some people have no manners in asking if I need stuff I looted.
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Some people don’t have problems shrugging off other people’s attempts to guilt, harass, and emotionally manipulate them into doing what they want. I mean honestly it’s pretty glorious, you might want to look into it if you find yourself wracked with negative feelings because you didn’t do what someone wanted you to do 
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I miss the only need, greed, pass system. It seems the amount of loot hasn’t changed…idk why the sorting method did.
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Well, to be honest, there are a lot of ways to get items to disenchant, and I would never disenchant an item in a raid when others could use it. It is not something I would do–and okay, that may not be the same as everyone. What I mean is, this is not to say I would expect others to do as I do. But if I do something I don’t have to and it makes others cringe, I would simply not do it.
Not at all. What I’m saying is IT WAS THEIR DROP. It ends at that. What they do with it is up to them and them alone.
And with that you’re in the “no longer worth talking to” category. It was his and what he does with it is up to them. Period. You deserved nothing but your first roll and by trying to make someone, who gave their winnings to someone else, into a villain shows the content of your character.
Good day.
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I will occasionally ask for gear in LFR, but only when 1) the person who got it is overgeared for the content, 2) it’s a noticeable upgrade–not just a few points, but a significant upgrade, and/or 3) their name shows up on PLH.
And if they say no, I say, “Np, have a nice day.”
I don’t say, “but you don’t need that”, I don’t imply they’re greedy or rude, i just…let them have their gear.
There’s no such thing as group gear anymore, not after Blizz got rid of ML. Your OP seems to imply that all gear is group gear. My question is, why does a person who does not need their loot owe the group a roll? I’ve had people open a trade with me and hand me gear, which is great (and almost always unexpected, because they like to time it with me not paying attention to chat), but I don’t deserve their gear anymore than the next undergeared panda.
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We’ve all lost a loot roll, or otherwise didn’t get the item drop we wanted. What you seem to want is a return to group loot (need vs. greed). I could respect that. But the players followed the rules Blizz made, and I don’t think it’s right to get mad at the players that do this.
Edit: If you want a controlled loot environment do not go in a pug. Instead, if you can, form your own group/raid/premade with your own loot rules.
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Okay, so you are saying someone who would clearly benefit from an upgrade is someone to avoid, because you have something they want and hence they will manipulate you. But if the item is of very little benefit to you and a huge benefit to them, then it is common courtesy to simply give them the item and be happy you did a good turn. Does this idea make no sense to you?
Maybe you should be asking for more gear drops per run instead.
As it is, if it’s not yours then it’s not yours and none of your business what anyone else does.
Ask for more gear drops.
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They could keep their noses out of other peoples business for a start. There is no problem. 
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This is exactly why I would simply not loot anything. I’d get it in the mail afterward, and not have to deal with loot drama.
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I’m saying if someone asks me for something the game decided was mine, and I either don’t respond or I say ‘no’, I have no problems at all brushing them off if they continue to whinge about it.
None.
Not even a little.
I am a grown woman. I have reached the Age of Ascension. Anyone’s attempts to twist the situation, to manipulate me to make me feel petty, small, mean, greedy or terrible because I’m not giving them what they want roll off me like water off a duck’s back.
Including yours 
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Exactly.
I’ve watched people say “roll for [Item]” AND IT WAS MY ITEM! I was tanking, had my loot set to holy to build a heal kit, and got a nice trinket. I left the raid and 4 others (the solo healer and 3 DPS) left with me.
This expectation of getting other people’s stuff mentality needs to be purged.
I have FOUR vehicles. I had five but I gave one away to someone that needed one. If someone I knew got mad because I didn’t flip a coin then they’re not the type of people I want in my life.
Precisely.
The behavior they show tells more about them than anything else.
Edits: Cna’t type twoday.
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Oh, is this what you do? And then you simply vendor the item? In my case, I loot the item, and if I don’t need it I automatically put it up for a roll. And before giving it to the winner, I make sure they can use it, and that they aren’t using a better item. And then, I glow because I did a good turn. And it feels good. Am I the only one who feels good about doing someone a good turn, and doing it so it is fair as not to create drama or animosity?
If I roll on something put up for grabs and lose fair and square, I can shrug it off, but if someone carelessly passes it to another without any regard for others who might want it, I do not shrug. It makes me cringe, to be honest.
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Indeed. Typically for the gold value, or transmog. DE’ed if it’s my enchanter.
Bully for you. 
You feel this way about gear you don’t need and that would benefit someone else? I want to be clear about that.
I believe in the idea: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Is that a concept foreign here?
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Yep!
Unrepentantly.
No guilt.
Not even a tiny hint.
The game assigned the loot to me, it’s mine, and I can decide what I want to do with it whether it’s vendor it, give it to someone else, or delete it entirely. Now don’t get me wrong, if something drops a sidegrade or a downgrade for me and I don’t want to keep it because of transmog or a cool on-use effect or whatever, if someone asks and is right there and I don’t have to hunt them down, I’ll usually drop it on them.
But if, for whatever reason, I want to keep it, I will, and I won’t feel even the slightest twinge of guilt about it. And if they want to continue to press, I’ll just go ahead and ignore them. Because I don’t care, even a little bit, if they or anyone else wants me to feel like a bad person for it. It’s a futile endeavor. I just plain don’t.
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In my case, I feel good if I do a good turn, and not in a way that makes others unhappy or cringe. Hence, I give people ample time to read chat and roll. Then I announce who won, and give them the item. The only reason I would keep the item was if it was an upgrade. If I needed enchant mats, I would get them another way–there are loads of other ways to get them that do not create drama, trouble or people cringing.
And why? Honestly, I think the whole point of wow is to progress your character. And gear is one of the main ways.
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Until the gear is in your bag, it is not your gear.
How hard is that to understand. Nobody owes you anything.
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You’re not owed anything by anyone else. If you want to give up your gear, good for you, that’s awesome, but if you don’t, then fine.
You don’t have to “help” someone else. The game is programmed to reward 1 piece of gear, that’s what you’re entitled to, not my piece you think I can’t use. I might need gold, I might need enchanting mats, you don’t know. It’s pretty selfish to think just because you need it that overrules the person who actually got the piece.
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