I’m running a community that’s more no-holds-barred; very little moderation, any topics are acceptable, all that jazz. We’ve got a diverse group of individuals, so naturally people butt heads and then laugh it off afterwards… except when they don’t. It’s hard to pinpoint when exactly it happens, but every now and then people get vicious to the point where it’s no longer fun for anyone.
I don’t wanna PO anyone by being heavy-handed, which could potentially subvert the expectations of many members, but I also don’t want extreme negativity to fester and rot. Is there a happy medium I can strike, or whaddy’all think?
Having people that get butthurt runs contradictory to a no-holds-barred community. Many people can give it, but not take it. Best bet it just remove those people.
Guess I never thought of it that way, thanks. So should I have a purposely vague rule that allows me to shut down something when I think it’s going too far or what?
Well that depends on the intentions you had when creating the guild. If you are going to a jokester free speech guild then I would just make rules against things that disrupt the community. Things like repeating racist epithets or something 500 times in chat or in discord so it is a text wall etc. Things that actually disrupt the flow of the community. I would also take legit threats seriously against other members. Also make people aware of the guidelines and expectations so if somebody’s dad died of cancer they are aware that stuff like “cancer jokes” come up. This of course can be tailors to how much you are willing to tolerate. You can make a hard “no racial jokes” rule etc.
Just make sure the rules are very transparent, that way when you recruit people they know that it they are butthurt or plan on breaking your rules they know they will be kicked…or not join to begin with.
EDIT: and yes, you could also just let them know they “went too far” but worrying about the random talking to from the GM might detract from the social cohesion of the guild. IMO, best just to create and document expectations that everybody understands
The people who don’t have thick enough skin gotta go. They knew what it was when they signed up… if they are ruining it for everyone it sounds like you know what you need to do. No holds barred doesn’t mean a few people who have paper thin skin gets to ruin it for everyone else.
That makes a lotta sense. For some reason, I just sorta had it in my head that I’d be the oversensitive one if I started coming down on people for that, but in reality I guess they are.
Maybe I’m not really visualizing the viciousness, but I feel like if the point of the guild is to be able to say anything, no-holds-barred, no filter, etc, then you kind of just have to let it play itself out.
I guess it comes down to what the guild is supposed to be.
They are actually not that vicious. I have been in some pretty x-rated guilds especially in Tera and they are a lot of fun. I am not the one to get butthurt over many things. You will find that the “real” racists will get trolled quite readily and they have a way of moderating themselves. It does take time.
That was my original intention, but when the argument doesn’t resolve and cliques start getting formed and people are whispering each other about how obtuse one party is, I feel like a line’s been crossed. I want cohesion as well, so it just seems like some moderation has to happen.
1.) You have people who can serve it up, but can’t take it. Those folks need to go. They will ruin your guild.
2.) You have people who are not in it for society and fun but simply to troll people really hard until they quit or get upset–and that’s not what you’re about, either. They need to go, and you’ll know it when you see it.
As the GM of a guild like this, the goal is for people to have fun, yes? To enjoy being online and participating in the back and forth. Both ends will ruin it. So boot them. If you don’t, the cliques will destroy the guild–if they haven’t already.
Guilds like yours have to have a strong and decisive leader. When you boot people…no discussion. No drama. No long-winded explanations about why you did it. No indulging their arguments via tell after they got booted. Just make the decisions and stand by them and then continue having fun with your people.
Thank you, this lays out everything perfectly. I just had hangups about making power plays because I didn’t think I’d need to, but I’m realizing that’s completely backwards thinking, even in a guild that’s supposed to be lightly moderated.
If people can’t play nice, you might want to revisit that, since certain topics can really be hot buttons for some people and that’s where fights start.
Any guild I’ve led or helped co-lead had basic rules that discouraged discussion of things like politics, religion and orientation, and that went a long way in keeping guild chat civil and friendly.
But you’d be surprised at what can trigger people, I recently got into a heated verbal exchange with a guildie because I happened to mention I was on the Keto diet - that triggered her hard and she went into a melt down on me in guild chat and it got ugly. Guess I’ll have to add “diets” to the taboo list LOL.
Anyway, just do what works for you, and you might need a few general “rules” to help keep the peace.
Dang, I was just about to hit the hay, but I gotta just say quick that I’ve actually witnessed this phenomenon several times. People get seriously heated, seemingly out of nowhere, when you bring up keto/fasting. It boggles the freaking mind lol.
