battleground blitz is peak 
unhinged game design 
. it’s like someone at Blizzard said:
“hey 
what if we took all the structure out of battlegrounds 
, removed any need for strategy 
, shrunk the teams 
, cranked the chaos to max 
, and gave every stealth class 
a free pass to cosplay as the Zodiac Killer 
?”
and everyone else at the table went “yeah sounds fun 
”
it’s not fun.
you spawn in 
, and 7 people instantly mount up 
and scatter like it’s a mario kart track 
—no coordination, no strategy, just chaos and boosted speed boosts 
no one defends 
. no one peels 
. healers are extinct 
. your rogue is out here roleplaying a blade of grass 
, and your hunter turtles the second a breeze hits him 
—panic trinkets 
at the slightest cc 
while backpedaling with a level of finesse so clean it’d make MJ moonwalk from the grave 
you spend 90% of the game with your team moving in a conga line of death, one by one, single-filing into objectives like it’s a dance party choreographed by darwinism 
. no strats, no comms—just vibes 
, dying one after another without even thinking of pressing a single defensive. 
teamfighting in blitz is just 6 dps foaming at the mouth 
, hitting everything except the same target—like a mosh pit where nobody knows the lyrics 
. it’s pure button-mashing chaos 
while the enemy team rotates with clinical precision 
like it’s game nine of the AWC grand finals, and we’re the tutorial bots spinning in place 
wanna attack? good luck 
—your team’s too busy RP-walking 
in slow, confused circles around mid like malfunctioning robots 
stuck in pathfinding hell , emoting at empty air 
while the enemy caps every objective uncontested 
.
someone just /danced on a corpse and planted the flag of ownership 
another one’s inspecting transmogs like it’s a runway show 
this isn’t a battleground—it’s a multiplayer lobotomy 
and the best part? you queue for another match right after
because you think:
“maybe this one’ll be better 
”
it won’t.
every blitz match is just a speedrun to psychological breakdown 
ggs tho 
10/10 
never doing it again unless i have to for content 
which i do 
so i will
send help 
hell of a lot better than chat gpt.