Are you a tired, drained adventurer who finds that life has no meaning at this point? Did you cross over the veil hoping all of lifes questions would be answered only to find out it wasn’t as easy peacy as you thought? Has knowing the outcome of your life’s choices left you in a shamble and nothing you do now feels like it matters?
Then look no further folks as the attendants here at the Oribos Research Academy are working hard to remove that glimmer of emptiness in the back of your minds.
Thanks to our patent pending mind warping technology - still in testing phase - the Attendants of Oribos can put you into one of their cubicles that will wipe all memory of the events from the leap into the Maw up until the end. You will however still have your memories regarding the sky being torn and the events leading up to the disappearance of leadership.
But beyond that you will merely feel like your trip was a dream and we will replace it with memories of a less crowded time in Stormwind. We offer 3 alternative memory packages:
- First memory is a quiet getaway to the remote Feralas Hot springs. Spend a few months in lavish care from our lovely sin’dorei caretakers as they massage all your troubles behind. Experience the springs, lounge in one of our tiki sand huts, and feel the years wash away. Drinks, relaxing company, and pleasant appetizers are provided. For an extra fee we can include an exclusive escort weeklong memory of several wonderful evenings with one of our attendants.
- Second memory is for the battle hardened heroes who enjoy the fiercest combat scenarios. A surviving troupe of Legion commanders has arrived in Desolace and you have been summoned to clear them out. In your encounter, you are captured and taken to one of their homeworlds, eager to find you way back. You face countless days surviving while battling scores of demons in an attempt to get back to the portal that brought you there and you return home. For an extra fee, we can also provide a select weapon we will forge to resemble one of the Legions own weapons as a glorified trophy.
- Our last memory is for the true explorer and lone wanderer. An expedition from Boralus to one of the lone islands leaves you stranded and without a means to return home. You find an abandoned village in the Gilneas style along with tools necessary for farming. You make the best of it and live a few months tending to your crops, fortifying the island, and you even fight off occasional Vrykul warbands. Eventually on one of the vessels you find a trove of Vrykul relics, keepsakes for your time on the isle before you are finally rescued. For an extra fee we can provide copied relics of your treasure and even a journal detailing your day by day survival.
We assure you that thanks to these memory altering experiences your life will return to the same joy and pleasure it once had…without the consequences. Rest assured that you will be the same hero (or villain) you were before but improved.
These are still in testing but should be open to the public in no time. Per a disclosure agreement, these memories will include a failsafe. One that makes you forget them when you try to discuss what you did during the Shadowlands period to anyone else but you will recall in exact detail when alone. A precautionary measure to ensure no-one discovers the truth.
Exclaimer: Be advised these memory scenarios are permanent so any trips beyond the veil will be as a first time experience with a few tremors of the brain.
(Side effects may include: dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death, and halitosis. Magic is not for everyone. Consult your doctor before use…Just Kidding.)
(I trust this could be used as a sound way to forget the SL for those who desire it.)