Mage: We can pull more

Saw this on Reddit, thought it was epic, so I’m reposting here. Enjoy.
Original Post

Tank: Nah, I’m keeping the pull rate slow for healer. Been watching his mana and he’s perfect at around 3 at a time.

Mage: Nah, I think we can pull more, it will be faster if we pull 5 or 6.

Tank: I appreciate the input, but I’m going to pull medium-slow so we get through this.

Mage: I don’t have too much time, gotta go faster, so lets pull more, i swear if we can pull like 5 or 6 we’ll be fine. I have lots of AoE.

Tank: I know you have lots of AoE

Mage: So lets put it to use, that way we all get more xp, will be more fun for healer too.

Tank: No, your AoE will get us wiped unless you use it selectively after I get aggro. Wait till 2 sunders on each mob and it should be fine.

Mage: You want me to only AoE 3 mobs? That’s a waste of mana, lets pull 5 and try.

Tank: …

Mage: I can freeze them in place, it won’t be any problem.

Tank: When the freeze breaks after a few seconds, they’ll swarm you and we’ll be out a DPS for the pull.

Mage: You don’t need my DPS for just 3 mobs though.

Tank: deep breath , I know, you’re here to make it go faster, and we appreciate that, but are you not seeing the healer having to spend 40% of his mana bar on you every time you use AoE?

Mage: That’s not an issue, when I have aggro he can just heal me.

Tank: It’s an issue, it’s why he’s always at 0 mana and we almost wiped back there when someone pulled that pack on accident.

Mage: No, it’s YOUR issue, you should be stacking sunders on everything all the time. I see mobs with only 2 or 3 sunders, they should all be 5 sunders.

Tank: … explain how that would be possible with everything attacking you.

Mage: You have bloodrage don’t you?

Tank: Bloodrage does not grant 100 rage… I need to take damage and attack for my rage to generate.

Mage: Drink a potion.

Tank: A what?

Mage: A rage potion.

Tank: There are rage potions in this game?

Mage: Yup.

Tank: I did not now that. We don’t have any right now, so lets just keep pulling 3 at a time.

Mage: Why don’t you have any?

Tank: I didn’t know they exist, and honestly I shouldn’t have to drink a potion just so you can use your AoE skill. Don’t potions have cooldowns anyway?

Mage: I don’t know what the cooldown is for the potions, but if you just drink one you should have enough to sustain rage.

Tank: How will one potion let me sustain if you’re taking all the aggro.

Mage: I wont take the aggro if you just apply 5 sunders to all 5-6 mobs.

Tank: So you want me to pull 6 mobs, apply 5 sunders, to each after drinking a potion while the healer runs out of mana healing me, so you can AoE?

Mage: Yes

Tank: Sorry, I’m not going to do that, lets just keep going.

Mage: Watch, I’m going to pull next and it’ll be fine, just trust me.

Tank: Please don’t.

Mage: Trust me, it’ll be fine.

Tank: I don’t trust you, you have inconsistencies unaccounted for.

Mage: Oh f**k off with that, I’ve done this before.

Tank: Not with me, I don’t think this will work.

Mage: Pulling, just follow you wuss.

Healer: Uhhhhh…

Mage: Get sunder, get sundnndder, get sundrer pls now

Tank: What the hell man, what did you just do

Mage: snndr, snnnudnder

Tank: I’m trying, I’m out of rage

Mage: DDRINK RGAE POSTIONN NOW

Tank: I told you I don’t have rage potion

Mage: HELP HEALS

Heals: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Mage: HLEP HEASL

Heals: oom

Tank: Oh no…

Mage: Oh great thanks for letting me die f****t.

Tank: RUUNNN

Heals: WHY DID HE PULL WHOLE GROUP

Mage: Why did you let me die, now we gotta run back. Should’ve used rage potion like I told you.

44 Likes

This is amazing.

5 Likes

Freaking mages

6 Likes

The mage had a point. You didnt need him for packs of 3.

7 Likes

I personally enjoy large pulls as in Classic its a fun Challenge to keep everything together but if i’m tanking, it means i’m leading. My way or the highway so i rarely get far into these arguments before i solve it myself.

6 Likes

I have no issues adapting to what ever the group does.

1 Like

I like fast groups as well, but if the tank and healer wanna act like a couple of semi-retired old farts as they shuffle their way through the dungeon on their walkers - I tend to let it slide. Slow run is better than a run with 10 wipes.

7 Likes

Tank and Healer have final say on pull rates. You don’t like it, leave, and spam /2 looking for a spellcleave group.

17 Likes

It took 15 years, but Hunter is no longer the short bus class.

Mages need to understand that AoE spam groups primarily only work if the group is specifically set up for it.

If it’s not, you’re going to get a lot of wipes.

19 Likes

you was cold as ice

1 Like

You should have just kicked him and got a new mage. We’re falling out of the trees right now. Easy to replace.

5 Likes

That’s been since basic D&D.

‘Pull more!’ ’
‘We don’t need to rest’
‘Traps?! Just open the chest!’
‘I wonder what’s in this crypt…?’
‘Don’t worry about it, the dragon is sleeping’

5 Likes

I never thought I would be relieved to have a hunter in my classic group, but I was wrong lol.

5 Likes

If you ever need us, we are here and more then willing to take those mages places.

2 Likes

I dont think i have ever seen a post this amazing, thank you.

2 Likes

Hahahahaah!

Well said OP.

Moral of the story: The TANK controls the pace of the pulls. Even if individual DPS feel they can pull more, always defer to the tank.

If the tank is pulling too slow for you, feel free to quit the group and go elsewhere.

2 Likes

Agreed. We should take them out back and beat the snot out of them!

Always seems to be the mages.

1 Like

Drop the mage & get a rogue. XD

4 Likes

You mean AOE group!!

1 Like