I see a lot of people with LF rp partner, relationship status single. When I ask them either icly or oocly, they’re usually not interested, and not really interested in rp (seems to happen regardless of what character I play). What is it that people really want then? Why list this stuff if you aren’t open to new possibilities? Then I see them idling around later doing nothing, then log off.
Aprroaches the goblin in a tuxedo and a bouquet of roses
“Greetings.”
I’ll be your elf.
winks
uhhhh…
Ishnu’alah Veeberry,
Do not be dispirited or disheartened by some of the interactions you have had thus far. In my experience (which is admittedly very limited on this subject), it comes down to pre-established rapport and good, strong OOC communication. A lot of the time players want to see IC relationships (be they enemies, colleagues, family, friends or romantic partners) form organically in a roleplay setting. But more often than not, players prefer to establish rapport with a new or potential roleplay partner for a good amount of time before agreeing to anything official between the two players and their characters.
It is very rare that you will find someone who is comfortable with a walk-up from a complete stranger who volunteers to become a long-term roleplay partner. In most cases, players who tag themselves as “Looking For X” (with X being anything from a ‘guild’ to ‘RP partner’), the player is more likely stating that they are on the lookout for those things - provided those things align with their personal roleplaying preferences. It takes time and patience to determine if a guild or if another player shares similar preferences in roleplay.
This may be part of why you’re experiencing rejection. Going forward, you may receive better reception if you simply engage in casual roleplay with them instead. Take the time to determine if their style of roleplay interests you, and allow them to determine same with you.
I always say to people that I don’t want to force anything and it would have to happen organically, and I’m okay with it if it doesn’t for whatever reason. I’m just saying, a lot of people don’t even want to give it a chance. Like, they just become a wall from then on. I’m not out here volunteering myself up as a long term rp partner to anyone and everyone. I would personally be okay with someone approaching me about it if I had it listed on my trp, but maybe from now on I simply won’t mention it at all.
I just wanted to drop a few thoughts here. As someone who is notoriously bad at updating all of her characters trp3 statuses (eg looking, happily single, no strings) I have more than once been approach and had to politely turn the person inquiring down. (Even when their character looks super interesting!)
Another thing that happens plenty even when I was actively looking is as was mentioned player compatibility, expectations of time set aside to rp, writing speed, perspective, grammar etc. while they may not seem to be a huge deal can matter a TON.
Then there is the subject of escapism, It would be dishonest to say all rpers are perfectly content in their non game lives, so many of us even non rpers are here for the escape it provides, you and another person might have the most amazing connection ever, every box is checked marked for weeks or months on end even.
Emotional investment builds, memorable experiences happen, then suddenly one persons non game life rips them away for whatever reason. Then shame, fear of disappointing your partner by putting a delay on the rp or even worse a end to it enter the picture and complicate things even worse.
And lastly just because one person is looking for such things does not mean every person that inquires will interest them, People are not required to interact on such personal lvls with strangers in real life no matter how many dating sites personals, etc they might be on and the same applies to an ic relationship.
Hope some of this is useful to you.
There were many reasons I started the teahouse. BUT, a major personal one was so that I could spend an evening checking out potential long-term partners (of several tropes) behind the safety of the counter.
There’s hints in my TRP(s) about what I’m looking for rather than just a “LFRP” tag. Sort of an attempt at pre-screening. A relationship hasn’t developed yet to the depth I like, but there’s a few I interact with regularly now. Still, I’ve definitely seen some other characters/players develop strong connections at the teahouse over several visits.
so take this post as a hint, as advice, as suggestive of a way of balancing IC & OOC needs, or whatever seems most helpful to your moving things forward.
(( I commend you for postin by his looking))
I have been thinking about how there are so many factors for finding an rp partner…that I wanted to make a list. I was sort of afraid by doing so it might make it seem super hard to actually find someone who matches nearly all of the categories. Feel free to add to this list and let me know if I miss anything. So here it goes:
IC:
-Characters are attracted to each other
-Characters have the same orientation
-First impression is amicable
-Characters become friends and interact often
-Characters want the same or similar things from each other
OOC:
-Players play around the same time
-Duration of time each player is online is sufficient for both people
-Strong positive ooc connection
-Writing speed/grammar is acceptable by both people
-Compatible rp styles
Its kinda covered by some of the existing, however, I feel reinforcing the statement that thirst is a turn off, and visible even through text is a huge thing to keep hammering into people skulls.
Fixed it for you
I’d add compatible RP styles to your excellent list.
For example, if one tends to play immersively & the other is so casual that for them landing their huge mount in the middle of a picnic is ok then there might be OOC tension. Similarly if one really enjoys “wall of text” writing & the other is all about brief custom emotes which only describe observable actions.
Which is not to say there’s necessarily a problem. Just something to be negotiated with an attitude of respect for the other person’s comfort & enjoyment. Of course that’s equally true of everything on the list.
I think attraction/orientation are only really relevant to romantic plots. Anyone who suggests they don’t care about romance, but insists on only pursuing long term RP with someone to whom they/their character would be romantically attracted is being dishonest… Unfortunately, many people are dishonest (intentionally or unintentionally) not just with others, but with themselves in this regard.
But overall, you’ve got the overall idea. RP is a collaborative writing effort.
And you can’t collaborate on a story when you and the other people have very conflicting ideas about what the story should even be about, who the characters are, how to handle conflict, etc.
And you can’t really collaborate when your partner(s) either don’t show up, or are otherwise unreliable when they do.
And you definitely can’t collaborate when your partner’s behavior outside of writing room negatively impacts you and/or your perception of them.
I know this thread is old, but I had to chime in especially after I lost contact with longest running rp partner who told me they were coming back as we were confined to discord after they were unable to play the game anymore but at this point in time are not holding out hope that they will. They were my characters IC mate and we had a good ooc relationship All of these points are valid in finding a long term partner, I hope I can find another one