First I’d declare war on the sun.
It’s had it good for too long.
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I like this guy!
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That’s a very bright idea.
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Why does the Alliance need to be bombed into the ground? They, uh… didn’t start this war. Everything else i understand. maybe some of it i don’t agree with, but i can understand why you’d do it.
First order of business, hire Ooker Dooker as my permanent right hand man.
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The Alliance doesn’t need to be bombed into the ground. We have different ideals, but largely both factions fight for right. Some just don’t see it that way and want needless war
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ME!!! Well now…
I would install a permanent Gnome Santa\Leper Gnome machine at every entrance and portal area in every Horde town and city. It will be mandatory for all entering to step into one of the machines. If you disobey my orders you will be tided to a post where other Gnomes can throw rotten vegetables at you. Oh and /lol too.
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Blight Stormwind and mana bomb Ironforge.
Make Silvermoon the new capital for the Horde loyalists.
Make Stormwind the capital for the Forsaken
Make Thunderbluff into an automated meat factory.
Make whatever is left over of Teldrassyl into a nice new dark place for the Forsaken Night Elves to live.
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be careful of your dooker. He might ook you in it.
I’ve always wondered how blizzard can censor some topics, and yet they basically have a boss in pandaria telling you that he’s going to do bad things to your bottom.
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Bad is subjective
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I’d put Thrall or Baine in charge.
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I would lock the Nightborne back in their bubble since they obviously are too fickle for modern Azeroth. Oh and hand out cookies.
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I feel like a monkey wouldn’t be gentle and might do you physical harm. But hey, if that’s your kink, more power to ya 
Assemble a cabinet of clan leaders to prepare an inventory of our needs and resources.
Then shadowmeld and make a run for it.
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Write off UC, consolidate power in the Eastern Kingdoms to Silvermoon and creep out from there to the Plaguelands.
Kalimdor is fairly secure, so I suppose build the crossroads up into a major city hub and invest time into studying why all those Zebra are running around w/o hooves.
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Another genocide because Sylvanas didn’t do a good job ridding us of Hippy Tree Huggers
Make my own harem, with all type of female elves and female Draenei mostly. A few female Satyrs, and only one dryad… just because i’m curious.
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All pandas and tauren must be shaved. No excess body hair allowed. Everyone must be smooth, and shiny, and glistening like an oiled up Orc.
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Since the actions of some previous warchiefs have made peace in the immediate future unthinkable, full withdrawal from Eastern Kingdoms for consolidation of power within Kalimdor would be my first major directive, as well as development of holdings on other continents (Northrend in particular) to handle expanding population.
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Publicly execute Saurfang and Bane via hanging and disembowelment.