"IC =/ OOC": The Discussion

In order to leave a previous thread alone and give a topic its own space to be discussed, here we are!

“IC =/ OOC”.

You’ve all seen it on TRP profiles- you might even use it yourself. I have a lot of conflicting thoughts on the meaning of this generally innocuous statement; More often than not I find it to be a problematic avoidance of consequence, and worth a discussion- If not to have my own opinion heard, but to also hear the opinion of others who use it (or don’t), and their justification therein.

So what does it mean?

On its surface, the answer should be obvious. “My character’s actions are not mine.” That leads me to wonder about a few things. I’ve found through some number of years of role-play that it’s very rare in this day and age that a player genuinely cannot tell the difference between role-play and real life. I can count on one hand how many people I’ve come across who become genuinely upset if you “attack” their character in any way, mentally, physically or otherwise. So if that’s the case, and “IC =/ OOC” has become a clearly understood and accepted norm, why do we still feel the need to include it?

So here comes my experiences. I’m finding that this statement is not being used in terms of stating the obvious, but of dodging consequence and using role-play as a way to hide from being called out for behavior that people find to be offensive. For example, a homophobic character will quickly jump on the “It’s just IC!” train if they offend a player, calling others “bad roleplayers” when they’ve been offended by something that is very obviously meant to be offensive.

I think my presence in the “rumor lady” thread is a good indication of my stance on consent- I’m very much in the corner of ‘better safe than sorry’ when it comes to player interaction in a public space. My final post was the mention that I’ve been on both sides of the “IC =/ OOC” argument, and so I’ll share my experience with at least one of these arguments, and what I’ve learned from it, and why I’ve taken such a hard-line stance on it.

Some months ago, Aran was addicted to drugs. Don’t ask how a death knight can be addicted to drugs, just … follow me, here. He picked up smoking, and was often puffing on the drugs he was provided. For me, it explored a side of his character that I hadn’t considered before- the side of addiction. What would he do to get his next fix? How would this change him as a character?

During this time, I was approached by a friend who had concerns about his drug addiction, and that the role-play had a profound affect on her- she’d dealt with these sorts of things in the past in the real world, and my role-play made her uncomfortable. Back then, I brushed it off. Role-play is just role-play, right? These are just pretendy times! Why should I have to change what I do to make someone else happy? Was it not my right to role-play what I want?

Suffice to say, I lost a friend over that argument and didn’t feel bad about it, either. That is, until I was on the other end of the rope. My character’s then-significant other was getting very touchy-feely with another character, and neither the person doing the touchy, nor the significant other thought to ask if I was okay with this. I lost another friend over that argument.

And then it hit me that both of these situations were the exact same scenario, and that both could’ve been avoided if we’d just considered the feelings of the other person. I realized that I was a really big jerk. In both cases, consent was ignored, and it lead to disastrous consequences that left more than a few people with hurt feelings and a bad taste in their mouth.

“IC =/ OOC” was being used to dodge consequence. It didn’t mean “I’m not my character”, it meant “I’m going to do what I want regardless of how you feel, and if you’re upset about it, that’s your problem.”

Thing is, that is a problem. A big one. What’s the point of roleplaying in a public space if you have no consideration for those around you? And I’m not talking about role-playing vampires and cat clan characters- I’m talking about the basic level of respect that each human should be giving each other in their day-to-day interactions. To ask before you attack someone. To ask before you post their role-play on a website. To have a discussion about how you want these things to play out so that both players can enjoy their time together.

So… this has gotten really OVER-LONG, but the basic question is this:

What does IC=/OOC mean to you? What consequence does it have? How much consent is too much consent? Is implied consent enough? How do you prefer for your RP to go?

I’d like to hear your thoughts!

Edit: Also, “You think too damn much, Aran” is an acceptable response :stuck_out_tongue:

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My opinion is that so long everything is based on IC circumstances, anything goes.

If someone asks you for consent if it’s okay for their character to cheat on you, that cheapens the effect. It’s a warning, something that will lessen the blow both IC and OOC, and something that will make it less “real”. I don’t want it to be less real. I want to experience all emotions, good and horrible, naturally, and then in the end, remember that this is a game to explore that kind of psychology, both positive and negative.

That’s just me though; some people invest a lot more than me with their player interactions with certain others, especially when it comes to meeting someone on the other end IRL and turning their RP connection into something more, and I can understand that it might hurt if something is potentially threatening their bond with another player.

In the end, it’s not a clear and cut situation. There are different preferences, mine and others, but to go strictly one way or the other isn’t a good solution, and you just need to deal with whatever situations arise the best you can.

The best piece of advice I can give to players who feel indignant towards something that happened to them, is that there’s nothing forcing another player to be inclined to keep relations positive with you. In the end, its their decision how they feel about you, and if they end up deciding against associating with you, that’s their choice and there isn’t a lot you can do about that if they don’t like what you do.

In that vein, I think it’s good to encourage people to still RP regardless of what they like and don’t like. Hate something IC, struggle IC - frustration and anger and sorrow are all great to explore in-character, and some of the best RP comes about by putting your OOC differences aside, treating things objectively, and playing out your characters’ interactions regardless.

And really, anyone who doesn’t wanna be your friend over something is basically looking for an excuse to not be your friend. :ok_hand:

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And that’s generally how I’d prefer it unless the other party shows some sign that they’re not going to respect the story or the characters in it. IC actions have IC consequences, and not everything needs an OOC conversation, but no conversation at all can be detrimental, especially in cases where role-play is headed into dark and questionable territory.

I’m finding all too often that newer players think they’d be bad role-players if they didn’t go along with a scene that involved sexual assault even though they weren’t at all comfortable with it. Obviously this is a lot more serious than a little cheating, or some drug use, but in the end its the same concept- safer to ask than to assume, and wrong to shame.

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My general rule is simple. For major, public stuff among the rest of the server, get consent first.

Additionally, should anyone ever make you uncomfortable, tell the person about it and/or ask them to stop. And likewise, if you are told that, then you stop immediately, no questions asked.

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As I said in the other thread, I used to belong to an RP environment where there were actual consequences for being out of character at any point while logged in. What I went through in those games affected me at the start of my WoW RPing “career,” to the point where I felt like I had to participate in situations that made me uncomfortable or gave me anxiety. Being told “Just retcon it” also gave me panic attacks because what if no one else accepted my retcon?

WoW RP isn’t like that though. There’s no real consequences if you don’t want to be IC. It’s all 100% opt-in, and as such, no one should ever be forced into a situation they don’t feel comfortable with. It doesn’t “ruin” the RP experience to discuss certain situations OOC, at least not for me. It gives me time to emotionally prepare or say, “No, I’m not okay with that” and back out.

Thankfully, all of my friends are incredibly good at discussing issues like this and are very respectful of each other’s feelings. The fact that we have to have a debate about consent though just fuels my anxiety over public RP. If it’s an individual doing something, then sure, I can just put them on ignore. When it’s more widespread though, there’s only so much I can do to protect myself.

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Thats good advice, Aran. Well said!

And if you do feel like it would ruin the immersion or interrupt the flow of the RP to ask for consent, then put a few IC feelers out. Something like “x person looked mad and began balling up his fists” before you hit someone. Give them a chance to react, to give a clear yes/no signal if they want to partake.

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I usually troll on here but I'll actually throw in a serious answer for once as this is always something that's interested me; the reactions people have when you react to their avatar in a video game. I think roleplaying is a fun and healthy exercise as long as you understand that it has no effect on you, as an individual, whatsoever. When people start referring to their characters as "I", that's actually a huge red flag for me. That in itself, to me, is not healthy. You are not your character, you are simply playing one in a make-believe world with words you typed. Any slight against your made up fantasy hero shouldn't be taken as an affront to you as the player. People still do take it as they themselves being attacked and I genuinely just don't understand. Are they that fragile? Are they that disenfranchised in real life? It's just hard to believe, I guess. 

That's why, when I did have an active sub and actively roleplayed, I refused to have any sort of relationship with another character that went beyond friendship. I think that while two characters having a close bond romantically is a great plot device when used correctly, it's rarely if ever done correctly or in a healthy way. People get attached to the character that their cartoon hero, in a video game, is interacting with through text. That's just unbelievably unhealthy mentally. It's gross when people are actually typing out the physical stuff they do together; I don't care if it's 'roleplay', it does nothing to add to your characters and I think it devalues the community as a whole.

That's just the biggest gripe with IC/OOC I guess. I just sort of rambled on here, but I hope I got my point across.

TL;DR you are not your character is in not healthy to use it as an extension of yourself

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I keep this note in Alison’s profile but, in the 5 years I’ve played her, I’ve only ever had two people whisper me with concerns:

I do my best to treat my characters as if they were parts of an artistic medium, be it a book or tv show or a ballad. I’m fond of them and their personalities, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to dedicate upwards to 5+ years consistently on them, but I do my best to establish in the meta that the ideals / ideas presented in scenes through them aren’t things that I am opinionated for.

If I think my character’s negative responses or positive feedback to something is reasonable, I’ll say “I think they were justified.” Keyword: ‘They.’

All of that said, though, the nature of roleplay is odd. We’re writing, improv-acting, and reading new material at the same time. Being able to 100% isolate our characters from ourselves is difficult, if not outright impossible, and I think anyone who says otherwise is being disingenuous; it’s hard for me to get immersed in roleplaying a character that I don’t have any emotional empathy for, even when they’re advocating for socially dangerous concepts like draconian law enforcement under the monarchy – or when they’re dealing with situations that are tragic and heartbreaking like mercy killings after a gruesome, stressful battle.

The key, in my opinion, is to be self-aware and when someone whispers you with concern; try to be transparent and forthright with them so as to avoid any negative experiences OOC. Positive vibes, even while there’s drama in-character, are what keep people wanting to continue writing with you.

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IC =/= OOC, until that person is offended in IC.

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A lot of people think that relationships, when IC, are entirely IC and thus should never have any sort of OOC discussion about them whatsoever, and any sort of negative repercussions or emotions on either party’s side is in response to them mixing IC and OOC. This, while true, is only -partially- so. While RP should not have IC/OOC mixing, relationship RP is a bit more complicated; and more then that, IC dedication bears a measure of OOC weight as well.

“But Fyl,” You say, face twisting into disgust and loathing. “How could you possibly suggest that? How could IC and OOC ever have any impact on each other?” Well, I answer, because IC and OOC are precarious concepts in the first place. To fully understand the analogy about to be put to use, we first need to establish the role of the roleplayer (As a player), in the context of the character/player.

The player (That’s you, OOC) is, in essence, the ‘author’ of the little story that your character plays in. This is common knowledge; I would challenge any of you to disagree with me that, despite characters occasionally acting out of sync and seeming to 'play on their own’, at the end of the day -we- are the authors of our story. Assuming this as the context for a singular roleplayer, a roleplay can be defined and summarized as a story – or a series of compiled stories – invented within a preset and predetermined universe, abiding by certain parameters and rules.

Continuing with the thread and tangent of roleplayers being 'authors’ in a word of the stories their characters play out in (even when their stories take place in the setting and obey the rules and laws of a larger narrative) a statement can tentatively be made for the nature and agreement when two roleplayers, whoever they might be, bring their characters into contact. Whether it be a passing 'hello’ or a full-fledged conversation about the quantum nature of cashews being both fruits and nuts, these interactions garner an agreement, or a series of agreements depending on how far the story progresses.

“Hello.”

“You exist.”

“I acknowledge your existence, and will humor the terms of the story that defines and outlines your character for the moment, until such time that I have reason to disregard or disprove your conception.”

Likewise, it is similar in combat roleplay. It is why so many people will simply tell you 'not to engage in combat RP’ as a solution if you do not like combat RP.

It is also due to note that RP abides by terms and conditions all the time. For example, societal norms. Would you play a character who is a racist, sexist, hateful character who is undeniably evil? Say that you do, and publically announce yourself as such. Is it not OOC bleeding to see the words 'raicst’ or ‘sexist’ in a TRP and avoid a person? Whilst a despicable and extreme example, it is due to note that our TRPs are, for the most part, invisible to the naked eye unless specifically stated. You abide by terms and conditions of not only societal standards from the moment you create your character, but from every moment onward. Every OOC note that states 'no ERP’, 'no Child RP’, 'No excessive or deadly force’, et cetera. Every lore-bound rule and agreement that your character is scripted to conform to is a rule and condition, imposed OOC and upheld by an OOC standard even when IC there would be no or little drive to do so, or any way to judge a person.

Every single interaction you partake in is an agreement, however temporary, to abide and write with another person on the planet Earth that, you the author, occupy. As with any good coauthoring relationship, all meaningful decisions -must- be passed by all included and relevant parties for any sort of progression in their interpersonal storyline. OOCly, the authors -must- be aware of every aspect that will affect them, even if their characters are not and cannot be. This is the nature of the agreement and relationship you have chosen to subject yourself to via interaction of any sort. Imagine, for example, whispering someone to check if an emote is alright. You are obeying these rules, these conditions, these mutual understandings, making these promises via interaction, every second of every day of every time you log in and interact with any other person.

However, I digress from the original point of my observation. The statement I was to make was on relationships and the RP that surrounds them. Well, restating the problem, most people assume that anyone who gets upset when something happens IC in a relationship are IC/OOC bleeding. This -is- true, they are… but they are not being unreasonable to do so.

Sticking with the function and definition of roleplay being a series of stories linked together by mutual agreements on the part of the author, relationship roleplay can be defined by an extended, linked storyline between two or more people in which they agree to co-write those (2)+ characters’ novellas together, to pore over every aspect and explore whatever crevices ought to be brought to light. Whether the relationship be family, daughter/father, or love, mate/married, or even dedicated allies and businessmen, by forming that relationship, you are agreeing to co-write those twos’ story -together-, and all meaningful decisions -must- abide by that agreement, or the shunned party invariably gets upset, even if they say they don’t, or aren’t.

If you have dedicated a character to a relationship of any kind with any other player, you are simultaneously OOC making a silent and unspoken promise to see this story through until such time either you no longer wish to pursue it (in which case you break the characters up) or the characters are forced apart by external factors (A character dies, they fall out and do not wish to interact further, et cetera.) These decisions are not yours to make alone, however, and your RP partner – that person you promised to coauthor this little story of yours that you are cultivating with – MUST be informed of them.

Where so many roleplayers fall into the trap of calling IC/OOC bleeding, methinks, is that when they cheat on another character and the unspoken rules and promises of dedication for that character are specifically broken. While many authors -are- both upset IC and OOC, the reasons often vary quite drastically. Perhaps they’re upset in the same way – but, to be crude, because my character is involved sexually with another and is cheated on does not mean that I am upset my IC character was cheated on. I do not have sexual attraction to pixels on a screen – that is not the -reason- for the upset. The -reason- for the upset is by entering into that relationship, with that character, it became a situation and promise, a dedication of those characters to the other and by that agreeing on both parties’ ends to write the story to conclusion. If you do not -state- your intent and get the O.K. from the other coauthor, it leaves them feeling left out, cheated of what was promised of them, and quite frankly it’s just as bad as if you’re autoed them or metagamed them.

Hypothesized solutions for this are really quite simple; communication. Communication is not only relevant on an IC level – you MUST communicate OOCly with your writing partner, or it -will not- work. Every meaningful progression for -that- storyline -must- be approved by both authors. And if a 'no’ is stated, and you wish to keep the storyline going, then you must respect the no. You cannot maintain or retain information and expect the situation to resolve itself.

Keep in mind that I do not claim that all IC/OOC bleeding into this category; while I imagine the vast majority of IC/OOC fallout across Moon Guard falls into the category addressed by this (thesis?) there is the toxic IC/OOC bleeding as well, which extends less to the characters and more toward the person themselves, and is more common in couples who actually know each other IRL. However, the vast majority of people that I meet – myself included – who stand accused of constant IC/OOC bleeding… when we get upset, we aren’t upset at the other person because they did something with someone else. The problem is that they ruined the story, derailed the plot entirely and wasted hours of input effort and emotes for essentially nothing. I would find it hard to believe that most of those who stand accused of IC/OOC bleeding -care- what their roleplay partners do in their spare time, or on other characters. The vast majority only care and are hurt because by putting that SPECIFIC, 1 CHARACTER into a relationship, they promised to see that story through to completion or stagnation. While ALL OTHER characters are fair game, you have now -locked- that character, you have dedicated and promised it to another. Why would one not simply log over and enter into a new co-authorship on a -different- character? Why must it be the character that is already locked? If you are truly so unhappy with that promise, then make sure your partner knows and end the roleplay.

Promises and integrity are possibly the most valuable social symbols of status it is possible to hold on the internet. In a world where our faces are lies, our bodies are avatars and our words are regulated alphanumeric characters, our anonymity is no excuse to cease being, in essence, a semi-decent person. Promises are made to be kept, and I don’t know a single person who inputs hours of effort on a promise which is then broken who -wouldn’t- be upset.

IN SHORT.

IC - >; OOC = Bad. Don’t do this. Characters are not you and if they become or are written as you, then you are playing an avatar, and this is pretty dangerous as far as emotional and mental health goes. In fact, it’s actually pretty good to be able to distance yourself and play something entirely contrary to your OOC nature… just make sure the character isn’t doing anything bad or you’ll get blamed for your character’s actions and people will try really damn hard to make it out that you the author are your characters, at least in the RP community. Good luck playing villains.

OOC - >; IC = Also bad, but not as bad as a lot of people would play it as. Technically, everything you do IC is regulated OOC. If you OOC don’t like someone, you probably won’t ICly interact with them. If their TRP has information or opinions you don’t agree with (Which characters cannot see, making this OOC information) you choose to ICly not interact. And you OOCly decide (usually by asking the other author) if your char would know them or not beforehand.

IC shouldn’t be OOC. OOC kind of has to have some bearing on IC because communication between authors is key.

EDIT: I wrote this thesis about 8 months ago. I’ve adapted it in like, two places to fit within WoW’s forum guidelines but otherwise it’s copy-pasted exactly as it was. If it doesn’t seem to address the opening post EXACTLY and gets a bit tangent-y in some places, that’s why.

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Like Aran said, the original meaning of “IC=/=OOC” is standard practice enough that it goes basically goes without saying. But what he outlines is such a different take that presents a really complex question.

Another standard practice of RP courtesy is the idea that you should never force your RP onto others, right? So with that said here’s a hypothetical situation:

Let’s say my character and another person’s character are in a romantic relationship. Let’s then suppose that my partner decides they want to explore a plot with their character being unfaithful. Now IC=/= OOC, so obviously if someone wants to explore that sort of story I’m okay with that. However I personally have 0 interest in RPing that.

With all this being said, wouldn’t it be somewhat rude for my hypothetical RP partner to force me into participating in that sort of RP without consent? Now the argument could be made that I could just retcon/end the relationship but like… That’s still super garbage to end up having to do, isn’t it? After putting so much time and energy into writing and acting out a relationship, it’s all suddenly thrown out the window because my partner decided to explore something with their character without seeing if I had any interest in being a part of that kind of RP? Isn’t the whole point of RP that it is a collaborative hobby?

I dunno. I don’t think it’d be ‘bad RP’ to do something like that, but I do feel like it’d be rude to throw your friend into such a situation. I think it’d be way better to sit down and talk with your coauthor to see if there’s a way to go about it that could be fun to write for everyone involved.

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Among random people IC =/= OoC. If you don’t know 'em, and they find something about your character is offensive to them. They can choose not to RP with you.

With friends though, that is a different can of worms all together. Out of respect for both them and yourself I would have a chat about it, maybe come to a agreement about it. I think the problem anymore, and mind you this is with all the DnD I’ve played in as well, is that people won’t communication at all because either they want to avoid the drama all together, or they’re afraid to speak up at all about what is bothering them.

I’ve lost some good friends over something bothering them, and when I asked if said subject did, they said it didn’t so I kept doing said thing. It slowly boiled over until they just ghosted me. It hard enough to get a read on people in real life if something is bothering them, without saying something its almost impossible to tell over the internet.

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I might be being pedantic here, but I feel like the issue doesn’t necessarily lie with whether the person you’re RPing with might be offended by something. It can be, but I think the larger issue is the assumption that the other RPer has any interest in RPing the same thing you want to RP.

Though I think I’m inclined to agree with Lochal. I think it’s okay to just dive in when it’s RP with some random walk-up. Those sorts of situations are easily written-off/ignored if the other person doesn’t want to participate. However when it comes to something that would drastically change the RP between you and someone you’ve spent a lot of time building something with: I think it’s simply a matter of being considerate of your friend’s preferences.

EDIT: To add, in relation to Tammy’s post: Preferring to not receive a heads-up is also a valid preference! That essentially becomes implied consent for whatever. I think it makes perfect sense that being surprised by something OOC could be just as valuable as as being surprised by something IC for some people. I think the danger comes when it is assumed that everyone shares that preference. I also agree that moving out of comfort zones should be encouraged, but I don’t think that means they should be forced out of their preferences.

(Not that I’m saying you do either of these, Tammy. :purple_heart:)

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I think if you want to invest a lot in another player and their RP, you need to really get to know them first.

Even if players are best friends, they’re still going to have different interests, and motivation to storywrite together always dwindles over time as avenues are exhausted. You might not be interested in certain sorts of RP, but that doesn’t mean that the other side should be pressed to continue your storyline the way you want just because you’ve invested a lot in it.

Honestly? If they’re your friend, they won’t want to hurt you; they’ll usually avoid doing certain things because they don’t want to upset you or make things awkward or whatever; but the depressing thing about that is that it kills a story. Conflict is core in a story. You need to ruin things. Things need to go WRONG. So wrong that your characters might not ever talk to each other again. It’s sad, sometimes, but it’s also gripping and engaging. Just remember that it’s a game. A game of life and strife. I know a lot of people aren’t as crazy as me when it comes to preferences, BUT I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO KEEP THAT STORY ROLLING AND ACCEPT EVERYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY AND RECIPROCATE MERCILESSLY. :smiley:

(unless of course its some idiot trying to stab you to death out of the blue)

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When I first started reading, my knee-jerk reaction was to say something along the lines of “IC = IC and OOC = OOC and people who don’t like it need to just firm up their boundaries!” or something along those lines, but.

No, you have a point. Not so much about the opinions of randos that have no impact on your RP and yours has none on theirs, but when you’re playing a cooperative story with others it can really be kind of a dick move to completely upend and undermine that cooperative story without some kind of heads-up OOC. There have definitely been times when I was in a place in my life where I just couldn’t handle, due to RL events, playing a fraught, abusive, contentious romantic relationship and when things headed that way I decided to opt out, and asked to not have to play out the breakup. It might have made for good story at another time, but then I wasn’t equipped to cope with it even fictionally.

I continue to make generally disapproving frowny faces at statements like “you can never play out THIS terrible thing” or “if you play out stories on THESE subjects that makes you a terrible person”. But things are different when it comes to playing stuff with people with detailed partnerships of one kind or another with yours, who are directly affected.

Communication is key. Consideration is key. It is consideration that I myself have lacked in the past, back years ago when I was much newer to RP and ended up ruining an OOC friendship over IC events that I let torpedo a years-long IC relationship and tons of character development without any kind of OOC communication and it was massively jerkish of me.

These days, I tend to be very, veeeeeery picky about who I run long-term stories with and make sure they’re with people who are on the same page in terms of keeping things nice and low-drama OOC, with mutual consideration for not throwing character-destroying curveballs out of nowhere all around. Not to say that things have to be happy and roses all the time, as Tammy mentioned that can take the roleplay out of the roleplay sometimes. Sometimes there should be fighting, tears and strife, there should be surprises and turns. But it really shouldn’t be a massive suckerpunch out of the clear blue sky where you just dropkick the current story out a window and leave your RP partner flailing.

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And I think that just falls into considerate storytelling. When someone does something too crazy that doesn’t make a lot of sense, there goes your suspension of disbelief and it’s probably not going to be too enticing.

To be honest I think a lot of problems can be worked out after they happen though, rather than thinking too much about it beforehand. If people worry about doing anything, you’ll hardly get any rp. :open_mouth:

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I’m not usually hurting for RP, honestly :laughing: But I also don’t go so far as to like, make my RP partner run it by me beforehand if the characters are going to fight, or if they can break up or something. I do prefer to let stories be story-shaped and hold some mystery.

What I do try to do is telegraph big changes in character dynamics far enough ahead, drop hints, foreshadow, and feel out how they feel about the direction of the story OOC, especially if it’s gotten to the point where the characters are so intertwined that any big changes for mine would have to mean big changes for theirs. If you’ve been playing off of someone for a while, you can get a sense for what they prefer and when something is bothering them, and over time general discussions about that stuff should be happening on an OOC level so that you can tell when it goes too far and it stops being fun. And I try to mostly play off of people who do the same.

Ultimately, if I’ve got a long-term RP partner I want us to have fun creating a story together. Sometimes that story is awful! I had a partner where our characters were constantly trying to one-up each other in how terrible they could be to each other, with a nonstop circle of revenge and counter-revenge. Sometimes it’s smooshy and butterflies and I’m the one who’s like, “I enjoy this the way it is, let’s maybe not have sudden demon possession tear everything apart”.

But it’s all about having some level of OOC consideration for each other and a knowledge of what the other person is okay with, ultimately.

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This is a bit extreme.

The homophobic bit aside, it’s a bit of a stretch to say that RPing drug use or adultery is inconsiderate of other players in a public space. Mind you, you don’t need to be an a-hole about shoving ‘IC=/=OOC’ down other peoples’ throats, but I would argue it is just as ignorant for someone RPing in a mature setting (I think it’s safe to say that Moon Guard’s RP scene is mostly ‘mature’) to raise offense with these kinds of concepts.

It’s a two way street in many ways. Yes, we should be mindful of darker or more sensitive character themes but on the same token those players that will take legitimate issue with such themes should also be mindful of interacting in public settings.

In short, by your logic someone struggling with alcoholism IRL could be mulling about the Blue Recluse and be justifiably offended by someone RPing getting drunk and that player RPing their drunken stupor should be expected to be ‘mindful’ of the other person’s IRL condition.

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That’s totally fair. My example wasn’t a good example for public space role-play, as it was a private thing between me and a few people. I like to think, however, that the general concept still applies, of being mindful of those around and being willing to bend a little if someone states their discomfort.

And if they don’t? Well. No worries, then, huh? xD

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I stand by my assertion that if someone would be offended or irked to the point of feeling the need to “say something” with regards to only slightly dark RP (flirtatiousness, lack of sobriety, zealotry, etc) they too have a responsibility to be mindful of the community and not engage in public scenes where these kinds of characters/RP can be found regularly.

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