This is a problem I have, so this thread is serious.
So I played for my first time during 8.0 up until 8.3 and I quit. Deleted the account. I just couldn’t do anything grouped at all and I got lonely by myself.
So a few days ago some RL friends basically begged me to come back and play with them. They are CE raiders for 6+ years and 3,000+ i/o scores. They said they would gear me up or pay some friends to do it with gold so I could play with them in Season 4.
As soon as I got invited t a group today I started to sweat. I started to mildly hyperventilate and just got all light headed. After the first boss kill on a Heroic dungeon (so I could practice) I left the group and logged out.
The thing is, in real life situations, I am the polar opposite. I am pretty outgoing and love talking to people, though I do have an anxiety issue about failing going back to childhood.
Look, I am not looking for psychology evaluations, I am just hopign I can find some of you out there that had or have the same issues as me in game aand what you did to overcome them. I REALLY want to play this game with my friends and raid and do M+ and it is so aggravating I can’t get over that hump
Any advice?
(oh btw, I have to brag, I got Heavenly Onyx Cloud Serpent on my first try lol)
Maybe exposure therapy? Keep doing dungeons, suffer through them until you get used to them.
I know for myself, I always get super anxious at the start of new seasons/expacs and I start off slow. Start with the easy and go up in difficulty when you feel ready. It’s really helped me with at least some of the anxiety.
You could try starting out with the follower dungeons. Its just you and some NPCs so you don’t have to worry about what’s going on with other players. Once you’re comfortable with that you can work your way into more challenging stuff.
My experience might not help, because the main way that I got over performance anxiety was by playing with my friends because I knew that they weren’t going to judge or overanalyze my performance. Eventually I got confident enough to PuG on my own, and exposure to that world and realizing most other players are actually quite nice people really helped me feel better about grouping up with folks.
I feel you, OP. I avoid dungeons with other people because I get super anxious and nearly have panic attacks if I don’t limit myself. It’s not a fun experience and it’s easy to start to feel depressed because you’re missing out on what some consider a core part of the game.
You can try talking to your friends. Explain the situation and try to take them slow. If you get overwhelmed, take breaks. It sucks, but if you truly can’t handle doing it without becoming a mess, you might just need to stop doing them altogether.
Your health should come first and if your friends can’t understand your struggles, you might be better off without them.
100% agree. I know it can be terrifying opening up, but if they don’t know what’s going on, they can’t help, you know? I hope everything works out for you, OP
This might come out as toxic but my way of coping with it was to get good. I feel awful if I’m not contributing above average in a group and it doesn’t always make sense, but its how I feel and that is hard to change. Knowing that I’m doing well in the group reinforces that I should be in the group which again might not be the best mindset but it works for me and it is how I am.
It also helps that familiarizing yourself with the game to a greater degree helps you become comfortable with it, knowing what is going on is a huge mental help. Naturally all of this comes with time and practice so just focus on one step at a time, you don’t need to be topping dps/healing or doing max content immediately just get used to doing better over time and eventually you will get there even if it takes a long time to get there the important thing is to try to get better.
I get really nervous going into stuff unprepared and even though I probably could I generally choose not to pug because I don’t want to hold groups back even if I most likely won’t.
Ok. I mean… wiping in mythic raids is a certainty, so its not like you have an option in the matter. You are going to wipe while learning the fight. Its not quite like that one video of the guy in the onyxia fight giving everybody -DKP for missing whelps.
Season 4 is going to be the definitive M+ season for dragonflight and the raid season is going to involve learning different fights each week for the first 6 weeks at which point all the fights will be available. The fights aren’t difficult, we already have the tools and strats, dathea is gonna suck because dathea is a messy encounter, so its just an issue of your patience with the content and your willingness to improve. These are CE raiders you’re dealing with so they’ll be able to tell you, likely down to the frame, how to improve your gameplay. So as long as you like the temperament of these folks its likely that you’ll improve quickly assuming you’re coachable.
I think he needs a filter that turns all of his party members into clowns that he can laugh at.
As a member of recent GD discourse I feel obligated to say that exposure therapy doesn’t work for everyone and the suggestion alone is belittling the OP’s condition.
Ooh, another person with Sha mount luck, congratulations.
As for your troubles, I would suggest taking things easier and going step by step, making an error isn’t something to be afraid of but rather something to expect. Everyone will make mistakes and that is unavoidable, the trick is learning from each mistake as PvE content has a timing cadence that remains the same throughout, only changing based upon damage numbers by key level and trash pulls based upon the route.
It’s normal to feel nervous/unsure of yourself when doing something for the first time.
Unfortunately the only way to “get over it” is to just keep doing it - and do it more especially.
The first time I tried my hand at driving IRL as a teenager I remember my dad’s car was a giant late-70’s “landboat” with crazy V8 torque - I remember I barely touched the gas pedal and the car took off… not gonna lie I was definitely scared/nervous driving that thing, thought I would crash the acceleration was so snappy lol
But I just kept practicing driving over and over and over… slowly the fear/nervousness subsided and driving became like second nature
It’s similar to “formal” group content in WoW, in the beginning you’re nervous/unsure of yourself/sweaty/etc… but as you do it more you become more comfortable and the nervousness subsides
There is a community dedicated to casual gaming at WOW, where fun is the goal and not beating the game, as fast as possible.
I don´t remember the name of it, but surely someone else will. I would join that community, there is one in the US and EU.
A general piece of advice, don´t care about people at the internet. You will most likely never meet them and no matter what you do, there will be those that hate you for it.
You also mentioned you are having a decent RL; so why worry about random strangers? You can always go back to your RL, with real people, real friendships and so on.
In the end you may have more than those that try to get under your skin, you are a winner, not them. Pixels and internet fame, don´t pay the bills, they don´t hold your hand if your sick, they don´t come to your wedding or feed your dog.
Just get rid of these negative vibes and focus on what makes your life so enjoyable.
I play a few games with a couple of individuals who have the same issue. I will say that explaining your anxieties and fears is the best step, with one major caveat:
If they tell you “it’s fine, everybody has to learn at some point,” please try to listen to them. They’re probably not just trying to make you feel better, that is probably their actual outlook. I am absolutely fine with these individuals learning. What am I not fine with is their fears conflicting with and overriding my spoken words. I am absolutely ok with learning. What I cannot stand is hearing “we should go back to such and such where i was comfortable” every time we hit a new encounter and learning starts again. Or being forced to baby their anxieties every time they make a mistake. If your friends are decent human beings, they will tell you honestly how they feel about something and your anxieties should never supercede what is actually being said to you. That’s the point where I personally start raging. Other people can only do so much to mitigate your anxieties. It is entirely up to you to actually listen when they do so. Are your anxieties an illogical fear outside of your control? Yeah, of course they are. Is that really anyone else’s problem? No. We can be understanding and supportive, but you have to let us.
And always remember, prog is prog. Nobody is expected to get it right instantly. You will fail, that is normal. It is up to you to try to learn from that.
Sorry 'bout the rant but this was a well timed post for me to vent some relevant frustrations.
I have more anxiety with friends/people I know then randoms I will never have to see again. When I don’t voice with people, I just pretend they are AI lol.
