So I took a week break and tried to think this over. Still don’t have a decision.
Problems:
I only want to really play healers. (I like r. druid, monk, paladin a lot)
The DPS I like (Warlock, BM hunter) do not have healer specs.
My guild is full up on healers. Meaning if I raided I’d need to be on balance druid that makes me want to flat out alt+f4 out of the game it’s so unfun to play as. Now if I went Warlock? Good luck to me pugging.
But if I ignore that and “go my way” then I am at the mercy of PUG meta. Which the meta seems to be absolutely suffocating in this game. Meaning me pugging on monk? Or paladin? I’m genuinely scared to do that because it might end up with me twiddling my thumbs all day begging people to “take pity on me and take me”.
Been there done that. I hate that position.
Honestly idk if I even want to be alliance with my current guild on proudmoore or just stay horde like I am on this character. I unlocked vulpera and leveled this myself on my own without boosts and it’s my highest character that I didn’t just boost from buying the expac.
I don’t want to be alone.
But on that note there is some irony, I’m usually flying solo in general which sounds stupid probably but coming from FFXIV I just blew through the recent content ALL on my own.
My raid members? Didn’t help me. I don’t rely on a guild and I get things done on my own in that game. Mostly because honestly no one seems to care about me and I’m basically a ghost tbh. Just, no one cares. Honestly.
But obviously I can’t participate in raids solo. Yet my current guild just doesn’t seem to really give an F about me and it just seems like pointless to try and fit in.
I mean maybe it really is just me but I am pretty shy and nervous around people and it just doesn’t work out. I always feel like I’m not wanted and this is usually validated by the actions they take against me later when push does come to shove. (Broken promises, apathy, lack of support, etc.)
Idk.
I’m so bitterly stuck. I have no idea what to do or anything anymore
Coming from someone who runs solo most of the time too, My advice? Find a different guild and always remember, youre the only paying the sub for your game time, do what you want and have fun. If people around you make it unfun, move on. you don’t need people like that in your life no?
This world can always more heroes love. Find another guild. Top 3 raiding horde guilds or at least populated horde realms are area 52, thrall, and illidan. You’ll find a guild who needs a healer and who will be happy to have you along. Alliance is a old and dying faction with a bunch of ill mannered people. Come join the horde foreva.
Sounds rough and I can relate to a decent portion of it.
I’m gonna have to suggest finding a new guild.
I personally cannot help you, though I’d like to, I just have no guild to offer you. If you’d like though, I will offer you (or anyone else) my battle tag and you can feel free to add me if you’d like. It’s no guild but it’ll maybe help with some of your other problems(?)
Is it really as common though ? I’m not sure. I know many people probably would not be quite interested in a “memeweaver” monk for example
Atm I am kind of all over the place. Mostly Area52, stormrage and proudmore. >_<
Thank you! Added :]
Yeah but warlock is 3x DPS, and I’ve heard pugging is infinately easier on tank/healer ;~; I don’t want to beg people for their mercy on me… I am scared of that. In FFXIV I eagerly go tank/healer just to blow through my objectives because DPS is far too slow.
You’re a healer. Unless you’re looking at Mythic Raiding, you will be able to find groups for all forms of content no matter what spec you are without much issue. Maybe occasional exceptions for Disc since it’s the “weird” one, but you don’t seem to be playing a Priest.
Even for DPS, the “pug meta” isn’t a big deal if you’re doing content for rewards as opposed to bragging rights. I had very few issues pushing to S4 Keystone Master (+15, a couple higher than that) as an Elemental Shaman. I had very few issues getting into +10s in earlier patches as Enhancement (before they made +15 reward-relevant).
The meta isn’t as much of a thing as you think it is at the level the vast majority of us play at.
Sure, this is fair, but if your current Guild has no interest in you other than for the slot you fill in their raid, then you’re effectively alone as it is. Start searching for a new Guild if you’re unhappy. Deal with pugs in the meantime.
FFXIV has very little content above entry level endgame. Dungeons are essentially WoW Heroics. Raids are largely LFR equivalents unless you’re doing Savage (most won’t). World content is world content. It’s one of the reasons I have trouble sticking to the game long-term. WoW offers much more mid-tier endgame content to keep more types of players engaged.
Since we’re talking guilds, it’s just a fact that unless you take a chance on a fresh guild that happens to actually turn into something great, you’re going to be the odd one out. If a Raid team needs to fill a spot or two, it’s rarely because they’re new and don’t have enough of their own people to begin with, it’s because they lost someone and need to replace them.
If you stay mostly silent, that won’t change. But if you end up with a core spot (as opposed to being a silent tag along on alt runs or something), it means you’ll see those people every week. You still have to find the right group, but that consistency is a good way to get your foot in the door with an existing clique. But you gotta actually try to interact with people. Just being there isn’t enough.
I’m thinking of maybe just moving the guild to one of those realm servers, I’m getting no bites on Destromath X.X and everybody I do recruit just parks their character in guild and are never on again.
Disc Priest, you pretend to do damage but you’re actually healing! Create two macros for PW: Shield, one is @targettarget which gets the tank and a mouseover so you can spread the atonement around with greater efficiency. PW: Barrier at yourself while standing near the other DPS, say you’re doing it for yourself only but really you’re protecting everyone.
I do want to eventually try some mythic raiding, but right now the main thing I want is mythic+. Which I know goes disgustingly well with resto druid like hand in hand. But I do enjoy resto aside from that.
Shame shaman and monks aren’t as good in m+. But as you said, at the level of +15 keys… hopefully people are more understanding of my silliness O_O~
But yeah thank you for the detail in this. So many true statements, honestly… basically am alone right now. Very true. And I do need to break out of my shell and interact with people more than just b eing a body. I’m just, idk. I’m really weird with how shy I am ^_^;;;
Disc looks insanely strong right now on both DPS and HPS meters from youtube videos I’ve seen-- undeniably I wish I could get into priest. Shadow and disc seem overwhelming right now.
Unfortunately I just can’t seem to enjoy it. It’s like the flavor just disconnects for me. I’m frustrated at myself for not enjoying it more honestly.
Oh no ;~;! I am so sorry. Yeah I have no idea on any of that unfortunately ;~;
(1) You really shouldn’t be taking this game, or anything on the internet as a representation of your validity as a person. Calling the information you receive ‘skewed’ is an understatement. Calling it an ‘understatement’ is an understatement.
(b) If you are in a guild that is about progression, or “beating the game” sort of thing, then going your own way isn’t an option really.
(*) There are sometimes guilds advertising for more social reasons than progression reasons. Maybe apply to one of those guilds.
(½) If you actually want to do progression, then you’ll need to apply to a progression guild that needs healers, but in my experience you kind of need to fill a niche that the guild needs. You can guild hop to do this, but it doesn’t sound like you’re up for that. I stopped caring about that a long time ago, so it’s not a problem for me.
Do Not Take Any Advice Or Information Below This Line
I learned a while back that there isn’t much you do that matters on the internet. Get drunk, say dumb things, act the idiot. When you login 24 hours later it won’t really matter*. I’ve gotten drunk in global chat, trade chat, gotten in arguments, said really, really dumb things and none of it mattered. I did try to be respectful of other people as people, but man, I really said dumb things. And today? None of it mattered. Nobody remembers me. There are other people who are actually a-holes. They get remembered. But me? Being drunk and dumb? Nawp.
(*) As long as you aren’t into truly terrible things like r@pe culture, child p0rn, being a N@zi, etc. There are some unforgivable things. If you’re one of those people f you. But I’m assuming you’re not. Most people are usually OK.
Thank you-- honestly this is all invaluable advice!
Honestly I think I might see what options I have. I think I mentally latched onto this idea because it was there and seemed good. But now I’m like “eh???” idk. I just expected more/different I suppose sadly.
But yeah time to check out some options I suppose D:
Evyx, you’re all over the place in your initial post. I haven’t read this thread so Idk if someone has already said what I’m about to here.
If you like your guild and they need dps and not healers, then you have a couple of choices.
Play your warlock or fav dps til a healer position opens up. Meantime you can also pug as a healer.
Find another guild or make a group of friends in another guild where you can be their backup healer.
Find another guild.
From your post you mention that people don’t care about you.
This is an unfair statement. We’re in a game with a lot of people we’ve never met IRL and many we’re not going to ever meet face to face so really, what can you expect?
They have their own problems. Don’t take it personally. That’s rule #1, always.
Remind yourself of that whenever you start going down that mental path of “no one cares” and “I’m unwanted”.
It’s not true and it’s not realistic nor practical.
Also, everyone has these little lies that run through our heads, many different lies but they all have one thing in common.
They’re unrealistic, impractical lies. Shut them up because they’re time wasters.
From your post it also sounds as if you’re not sure what faction to play anymore.
How to solve this is, play your favourite toon. Whatever faction that is, that’s the faction you play.
Suggestion: when out making those friends in other guilds, be there for them.
Be the person who cares if they succeed or not. This will get you further in your goals with others.
It doesn’t always work, you run into those who are selfish but more often than not, you’ll run into others who are really great and will repay in kind.
Good luck and don’t stress. This is just a game. Be well.
Evyx, I am struggling to find the right words to encourage you without being untrue to who I am, and coming across as fake.
But I do want to say this much. I feel deep empathy for what you are feeling. I can relate to it so well. But something that keeps ringing in my head is this.
If we aren’t content being happy alone, no amount of trying to find happiness with others will help. We must first learn to be content to walk the path alone before we can appreciate walking the path with others. <3 Hugz
