I need dad jokes

Community General Discussion
1

im becoming a father so I need lots of dad jokes

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2

Hi Becoming a Father. I’m dad.

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3

Congratulations!

I made a pencil with two erasers, it was pointless.

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4

You already created the best joke your going to get OP.

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5

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs.

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6

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

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7

Have you heard about these new corduroy pillowcases?

They’re making headlines.

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8

What happened to the old car? It re-tired.

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9

how do you make holy water?

boil the hell out of it

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10

what do you call a pc that is on it way to work?

a commuter

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11

I told my dad on his birthday, “In a few years you’ll be seventy, and then I’ll feel old.” He didn’t laugh, my jokes bomb sometimes.

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12

Remember kids, punctuation is the difference between helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse, and a rather embarrassing day in court.

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13

Lets eat grandpa!

I mean.

Lets eat, grandpa!

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14

Side note – the key to “Dad joke” delivery is to keep a straight face. It’s all about the “delayed blast” effect as they first take it at face value, then go “wait a minute…”

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15

Gratz to you and your ‘Becoming a mother’.
Advice: start storing up diapers NOW. Neither of you will feel like shopping when Her/His Majesty comes into the world, and you won’t BELIEVE how fast you go through them.
As for ‘dad jokes’, I’m no good at those, seeing as I’m not ‘dad materiel’.
Skäl
:beer:

1 Like
16

“Why was the goblin kicked out of Gilneas?”

“He wore-genn.”

That’s a dad joke if your kid plays WoW, and if they do I applaud you good parenting. (I started when I was 7 but I would just create characters and play them to like level three)

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17

don’t be that dad be the cool dad lol

18

Why did the Priest bless the sidewalks?

They kept him off the streets,

1 Like
19

Why are ships in Norway given bar codes?

So they can Scan-da-navy in.

7 Likes
20

why didn’t the bike walk on its own?

it was two tired

2 Likes