I Just Made War Within Exciting! (Satire)

You guys won’t believe it, but I was hired by Blizzard and have fixed the next upcoming expansion. You should see all of these adjustments hit Wowhead in the coming days!

Here’s what I did.

  1. Scrapped Earthen Dwarves! Who was really excited for a reskin race that is neutral for both factions? Instead, we are adding Ogres for the Horde and Vrykul for the Alliance!

  2. Scrapped Hero Talents as we know them! Why did we come up with a completely revamped, evergreen talent system in Dragonflight just to leave it with only 1 iteration contained within only the Dragonflight expansion? Silly move on us!

  • Instead, we are giving you 10 new talent points for leveling, 5 of which can be used in your spec tree and class tree. We also are adding 3 new talents to each side as well to keep it fresh! This way you have the choice. Do you go for all of the new stuff, or put some points into talents that you currently can’t?! This of course, will also save us months off the backend with new balancing concerns!
  1. But wait, what about all of you who were excited about the Hero Specs? Don’t worry! Instead, we decided to bring back Class Order Halls!
  • During your new class campaigns, you will seek out more mastery of your current specs and classes. So instead of a brand new talent system for these Hero Talents out of nowhere, they will just be class-skins unlocked via your Class Order Halls! Much more customization will happen here as well!
  1. Scrapped Delves! Who was really going to be playing these 4 months after release? Seems like a lot of development time that would be better spent you know, anywhere else!
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Gotta say I didn’t read most of that. I was laughing too hard after reading the first sentence.

Anyway, thank you for fixing the expansion for them.

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Well thank you. After having fixed this upcoming expansion, I’m laughing alongside with you but all the way to the bank!

If only.

They’d be fine if the fantasy was fully fulfilled (glares at Mountain King) or provided more bonuses than just flavor.

Unironically better.

Nevermind, I’m glad this is satire.

Class skins for Warrior would be very niche; I’m having trouble thinking of one past Mountain King…

Don’t really know what to think on this one since I haven’t played a delve, nor has anyone outside Blizzard for that matter.

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Oh don’t worry, refresh Wowhead daily!

Unironically my best change to fix the upcoming expansion!

Jokes off for a moment. I actually have never encountered someone who doesn’t like Class Order Halls. Definitely surprised by this one!

Blademaster and Gladiator will be saying hello shortly!

Oh yes you have. If you have ever played a Scenario, Island Expedition, Warfront or Torghast, I assure you, you have already experienced the exact same gameplay experience that was coming with Delves!

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Ew, more humans. No thanks

So we get no new talents or abilities or

That’s literally no different lol

No thanks

I mean alright, you got me on board there.

Aaaaand you lost me. Delves look awesome.

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  • During your new class campaigns, you will seek out more mastery of your current specs and classes. So instead of a brand new talent system for these Hero Talents out of nowhere, they will just be class-skins unlocked via your Class Order Halls! Much more customization will happen here as well!

Everything is based and hilarious except this. This is hilarious in a different way. Because it’s giving the “class skin” crowd exactly what they want, and it sounds as lame as you’d expect.

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Delves are the most exciting thing theyve added to this game since legion gave us world quests and mythic+ :stuck_out_tongue:

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Class skins for Warrior would be very niche; I’m having trouble thinking of one past Mountain King…

The only class where class skins make ANY sense are mage and shaman. So if you want your lava lash to be thunder themed instead I think that would be ok. Or you don’t want your fire mage having all these frost themed abilities.

Trying to make a Dark ranger skin for hunter just doesn’t make sense. It makes more sense as an entirely new spec.

Ew, more dwarves. No thanks. Am I doing it right?

1/5 ain’t bad. I guess you really can’t make ALL the players happy!

I’m not excited about Earthen but humans are about as fun as unsalted butter on pasta and Vrykul are just tall edgy humans.

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Eh, still better than the 3rd version of the same dwarf using the same dwarf model.

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Ai dungeons are not hype. The only people excited for them are the type of people to argue on the forums about how there’s not enough solo content in WoW.

It’s extremely easy content, with no rewards, and it’s recycled.

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We’ll have to agree to disagree there. Vanilla humans and Kul Tiran are more than enough human to go around.

Good thing delves aren’t AI dungeons.

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And like that I would promptly uninstall the game and go to FFXIV full time.

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We are sad to hear you go!

However, if losing you means that we can actually start carrying our content past 1 expansion set and continue to iterate on it for the better of the wider game, then we are willing to make that trade!

Yeah, see here’s where you lose the entire thread of this. The Hero Talents ARE a continued iteration of the Talent tree system. It’s not a system being left behind, it’s a system expanded to actually include class fantasy and classic class Archetypes.

In conclusion. Really glad your fix isn’t an actual thing. Have a great day though.

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Nothing says continued iteration of the Talent Tree system like a whole new separate panel! And talents that only come into play for levels 70-80 that have no direct involvement with the class or spec trees.

We almost wouldn’t have had you, until we decided to put that Hero Talent panel actually in the middle of the real talents page!

I don’t think you could have been more disingenuous if you tried. Have a good day.

Really can’t wait for Testing to start so we can get a better look at Delves.

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