Hi!
So I did a +14 Nokhud last week and overtimed it. These days my keys are hovering at 9-12… how do I gain enough confidence to apply over a 12?
I get so much anxiety applying for keys bcuz I feel like I’m never good enough or I might brick there key so I become a scaredy cat and apply for keys lvls that I’m comfortable with.
How do I step outside my boundaries when it comes to M+? ( I am 391 ilvl btw)
For me, it depends on the dungeon actually. NO is one that I haven’t dove into really to get a higher score in yet. I think I only have timed a 10 there and my score reflects an untimed 13 on both weeks.
I have timed 16s and 17s in other dungeons though lol.
Ruby and NO are my lowest scores. I will work on them at some point but it will probably be the slow, climb the ladder way. Mostly because I have focused on shadowmoon 16s+ to get my concentrated infusions and haven’t learned all of the mechanics for the higher keys in other dungeons that much.
All that to say, I would just suggest repetition. The more you do them, the more it will just come naturally. Like I feel like I can do shadowmoon in my sleep since I ran it so much lol.
Clarification: I see you using the world “applying” when running keys. Are all of these M+ via Premade or otherwise with strangers/pugs? Could there be a community of folks you know where you could more comfortably run with to overcome the initial anxiety?
I know that when I broke into higher keys years ago, running with people I knew helped with that initial barrier.
The rest is repetition, which sometimes also includes failing. Some dungeons also have better-tuned timers than others (AV is notoriously hard to get in the timer sometimes, for example). So in terms of success, it can be a case-by-case basis.
I have been creating my own groups often these days but to increase my io score I have been contemplating applying to stranger/pug groups.
Nope, I was there for Legion (which I also did my highest key ever +21 seat of trium) and I have been a pug healer for M+ for 6 years counting. Some of the people who have been on my btag for years nickname me the “loner panda” just bcuz I run pugs 99% of the time. (even heroic raiding, I do pugs)
I have very bad social anxiety so I never am active with my guild and I don’t have friends (irl or in-game)
Gotcha, I understand. Thanks for clarifying. 
Higher M+ keys can be stressful in general, and having the additional social anxiety stress could definitely make it harder.
As for stepping outside boundaries, here’s one way to look at it:
Safe Zone (to use numbers, let’s say 9 - 12 for you right now; correct as needed!)
Challenge Zone (something like 12-14; update as needed) < – sounds like you want to be here!
(Currently) Impossible Zone (let’s say 15+ ish, which would be hard at your iLevel for now)
(All of these zones can shift overtime depending on gear, comfort zone, etc. The numbers I wrote done were examples by inference, please change as needed.)
To step outside our boundaries from Safe to Challenge Zone, making concrete, specific goals can help, because it can make the change feel more obtainable. So maybe making a list of keys to consistently achieve at the 11, then 12, then 13, etc. level could be a way to chunk the anxiety to smaller levels, and then make it easier to overcome the hump?
Just some thoughts. Also, some keys are definitely harder to achieve in the timer than others, depending on week to week. RLP is rough in general, AV has little room for mistakes, and SMBG is incredibly forgiving. So some of these will need to be weighed differently in terms of what’s an achievable challenge, instead of the same across the board.
Hope this makes sense/helps!
I struggle with the same issue - until I get pretty confident in the dungeons
I generally just go up one key level every time. If I end up struggling with a mechanic, I read up on it, or have a look at how others deal with it. Best thing you can do is, get confident in your keybinds, make sure you see everything you need to see, like debuffs etc. Even if you cant dispell them, its nice to see if people have dots etc, and require a bits more healing.
Learn everything you can about your spec, not only healing buttons. In m+ all utility is generally very useful. Fears/Stuns/Kicks etc. And then just practice 
Just keep in mind, its not always the healers fault when people die. Or pulls goes to hell. Its a group effort. People need to use health potions, avoid standing in bad, helping with kicks and stuns and defensives. Its very rare in pugs to find people that do all the above, and it becomes the healers job to fix everything.
Listen to feedback, but dont accept toxcicity. Ignore is there for a reason, and dont be afraid to use it.
I love m+, and if you ever need someone to run with, Id be happy to tag along. I do have DPS spec aswell*
Expect one shots that are not your fault. Know where burst dmg will come, know what your answer to burst damage is and set yourself up.
One example being divine word talent into sanctify. I’ve even gone hardcore and shielded everyone individually before dmg comes. PW: Shield is kinda good rn and I certainly don’t use it enough myself.
Even though holy is reactive, we do have tools in our kit to plan. Learn how to heal each type of tank, or at least get an overview so you can know when it’s critical to help. This is especially important when you can trust the tank and not have to choose who to heal.
But at some point you will get comfy letting go because higher keys tend to be unforgiving for standing in bad which dps are wont to do. And watch your own feet which goes without saying as a clothie.
As far as keeping yourself up and having the best chance at success, lean on your passives and mitigation, maybe more than you might in lower keys.
Use desperate prayer and fade (with the improved fade talent) offensively. Prayer of mending is often my biggest output. Bring health pots. You got this and have fun! It’s so much fun imo.
Everyone here has had a lot of good input, but one of the biggest things to note that might help:
You’re unlikely going to ever be the single point of failure for a group so long as you’re sincerely trying.
A lot of doing higher keys is players understanding what the priority interrupt in a pack is. A tank knowing when they’re going to need to kite, or being cognizant of your mana pool. People popping personal defensives when they get hit with things like 2 bleed stacks in nokhud, etc.
Some things are legitimately unhealable if nobody besides you is contributing. If you do a HoV and get to fenrir and nobody stacks in his red circle AoE? That’s just going to increase your required HPS by like 30k for the fight if it doesn’t outright kill someone who DID stack. You might have a DPS who’s doing MAJOR dps, but they have 2 interrupts over the whole dungeon - that wasn’t actually a great teammate - they made the dungeon significantly harder for you. Especially if missing those interrupts caused a wipe or someone else’s death.
One aspect of building confidence is learning the ins and outs of these keys, and realizing just how much the players around you screw up too. That doesn’t mean you should call them out for it or anything - just that it’s good to know that despite them doing higher keys than you regularly - they mess up just as much.
It’s very hard for a singular person to throw a key without literally AFKing, disconnecting, or standing in stuff and dying every pack/boss. You might make the mistake that tips the scale, but there were almost certainly a series of mistakes before that which lead to it.
So really, focus on your own goals/improvement and if people call you out on it, ignore them. Chances are they were not playing as perfectly as they thought.
Don’t think, just do it.
So just a quick update but I finally transitioned into +13 and +14 keys. I have even attempted a +15 Azure Vault but overtimed it by 24 minutes so it didn’t count towards my io score.
2 chested a +14 SBG
1 chested a +14 ToJS
2 chested a +13 CoS
And overtimed a +14 RLP
My score is 1860 as of now, will update more in the future and let you know my progress. 
IMO if you’re over timing a key and there aren’t a bunch of deaths then it’s the fault of the tanks route/pull chains or the DPS’s damage. It’s only your job to keep everyone topped off and recovering from other people’s minor mess ups.
Also, I’ll add, that if you ARE having a bunch of deaths then look at why before you blame yourself. DPS will stand in one shots and do 0 kicks or stuns all dungeon but still scream at the healer cuz they died.
So I’m summary, that’s my tip for higher keys. Don’t stress by putting all the blame on yourself when you’re only 20% of the team.
If you go 40% over a timer you won’t get IO score for the dungeon as a tip.