How do you react to well-intentioned but ultimately irrelevant and unsolicited advice from a guildie who has his or her heart in the right place?
Especially when you try to cross your i’s, dot your t’s as much as possible and your performance is not what hindered the gameplay at all?
I personally react very poorly to it, mainly because i cover my bases, admit my lack of expertise when it’s true, and i am also my biggest critic. So getting unsolicited, and let’s be clear, WRONG advice (in this event, the person admitted not knowing much about the class) really touches a sore spot.
It’s something that I’m personally working on - to be less sensitive. But I just wondered how others approached this issue.
Note that this isn’t about constructive criticism - to me, it’s constructive if warranted. Bad pulls, bad performance warrants constructive criticism.
I definitely am gonna reduce this, both in wow, and in my personal life. (asking for advice and opinions, to be clear)
I am a curious person who enjoys discourse and what other people have to say. But i feel like too many people, both irl and in wow, perceive that as a sign of weakness or a lack of confidence and ability.
Yeah, I kinda ended up doing this. Said I’d consider it and do my research. Which i did, turned out I’m fine.
I just didn’t like how i internally reacted, if that makes sense.
In hindsight, i would just stand my ground, and take such an opportunity to educate them in a conversational manner.
And to your last point, i feel that. It’s like… Why bother asking me if you’re gonna disregard what I say…
Sort of a combo of what others above said… “Thanks.” (honestly, I appreciate anyone trying to help me get better) then if the advice makes sense, consider it, if not, dismiss it. Even if I consider it, that doesn’t mean I will adopt it, just think about it.
But, that applies to anybody’s advice anywhere in life.
Yeah, that’s why i wanted to stress that this wasn’t someone being malicious towards me. It’s just a bit twisted form of caring. Which is better than them being indifferent.
Either way I’d thank someone for consideration. If I knew the advice was wrong I’d just say I’ll consider their advice and look into it further, basically blowing them off so I don’t hurt their feelings or come off as arrogant (people tend to not like being told they’re wrong).
If I wasn’t completely sure I’d say pretty much the same thing and do some research. They may have the right idea but the wrong details so I may learn something that’s still useful.
I would never scoff at it though. 9 times out of 10 the person is trying to be helpful not rude and I can appreciate that.
In the center of every “bless your heart” is a tiny “eff you.” I heard that once and it pretty much checks out, it’s a condescending way to talk to someone.
If it’s someone I know, then I appreciate the advice they give. If it’s someone I don’t know, then I’d rather they not be in my business even though their heart is in the right place.
Regardless, advice in any sense is generally bad. The only person who can do better for yourself is you. No one can make you a better person, no one can make you less sensitive. Only you can do that.
Without getting into the nitty-gritty, or even trying to victimize myself, let me just say that life has been less than kind. Unfortunate, but I despise it when someone gives me advice right now. No one can solve my problems except for myself, so when someone brings me advice, I generally ask them to stop.
But I’m just posting to express my thoughts, not to give you advice. You do you.
