To condense some of this - yes, I do pull a lot of what I said from Garrosh and his regime. The reason I continue to put my finger on that, however, is because Grom and Garrosh’s visions of the Horde present themselves as the natural conclusion of the Orcish ideology and culture - and it’s notable that said culture survives through to BFA. Sylvanas doesn’t make her own mark upon it so much as she hijacks it to her own ends - and you see this the most starkly in A Good War, where orcs continue to act according to the values that Garrosh promoted while everyone else joins them for the ride. It’s notable as well that the other leaders didn’t get to know about the plan until it was in motion. For the longest time, it was Sylvanas’s, Nathanos’s, and Saurfang’s secret. Lor’themar was absolutely not brought in to consult on it or anything like that.
To the extent that this fractures, this tends to happen when the non-Orcish parts of the Horde begin to assert themselves, although Saurfang does emerge as an important exception: someone who had been down this road before and should have known better - who learned once again what said ideology led to and then tried to correct matters.
It was a good thing though, that when Saurfang came close to exploring the problems with that ideology, and coming to grips with the damage it does, Anduin was there to remind him that it’s not so bad because the Alliance was somehow responsible for Arthas. It’s a good thing as well that we’re going to treat Sylvanas as a sort of immorality conduit so that we don’t have to grapple with the ideology that she was able to use to successfully hijack the Horde into war.
However, that bitterness aside - the way your third point ends is something that I could give more credence to. My problem is that when Orcish honor culture is allowed to drive the bus though, and the other races just go along with it, I do have to look at what appears to be the higher order term in the equation.