Say someone wants to learn a new tank in game, not any outside sources. That means no YT vids, no icy vains, nothing. No one is on in this guys guild. General chat is…being general chat. Now with todays current predicament of dps pulling for the tank and the bad mouthing, kicking them AND reporting them, how are they supposed to learn to tank on a prot Pally, or a BM monk, so on and so forth? Please correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t believe the game teaches tanks how to tank in exiles reach…
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Why would you not use outside sources?
If you’re trying to make a point that they need more in game tutoring… ok. But you’d be a fool not to
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Say this player doesn’t like using outside sources
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Say that person is shooting themselves in the foot
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They believe in immersion
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Alas, your friend picked the wrong game for immersion. There may have been a time when that was a thing, but that time has long passed us. I’d recommend they try out FFXIV.
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Unfortunate, but thank you, I’ll tell them
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The game does teach you alot by reading your skills and talents alone, though.
Thging is: How many players sit down and read every skill and talent they have in the book to figure out what they should be doing?
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The alternative is to find a guild that’s not trying to rush content or push any particular playstyle on your friend while also having the patience to wade through dungeons without playing efficiently. They’re definitely out there… though might be hard to find. RP servers are a pretty good bet for this.
But any chance of this happening organically with a pug is basically… not going to happen. Ever. He’ll need to grow his own community if he wants to avoid all the negative interactions you listed in the OP. As a youtube video once stated, “It’s rude to be bad at World of Warcraft”.
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I learned how to tank pretty easy by just queuing as one. But even that isn’t required - queue as healers and DPS until you’re fairly confident with most dungeons (you don’t have to be 100% confident with all of them - most are pretty linear anyway) and watch how other tanks do it.
When there is a dungeon with a troubling layout - sometimes the other members of the group will show you where you need to go automatically just by moving towards it.
And if they do pull mobs before you - let em have it. Dealing with that is not your responsibility.
Pugs in this game unfortunately aren’t patient with people who aren’t fast learners. If your friend is not, I would suggest not having them tank for at least a few months. Let them observe other tanks, and then let them tank exclusively for friend/guild groups to learn the ropes.
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If you don’t mind why would they cripple themselves like this?
But given the stipulation, checking the abilities and practice I suppose.
It’s easier to learn from others testing and learning.
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To be an effective tank in WoW you pretty much have to use outside sources to know what to do and when to do it to the best of your ability. Or all your going to be is the type of tank that gets yelled at all the time and booted out of groups.
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Honestly, I doubt you can with just in game resources. WoW right now is basically all about external stuff. M+ routes having very specific skips that people expect every tank to know, encounters designed around add-ons, classes designed around perfectly optimal rotation that one person finds out and everyone just goes “Yeah, guess that’s it”(looking at you, Arcane, spec is completely unintuitive), hell, most classes even need weakauras to keep track of important buffs like Blessings of the Sun King on Fire Mage.
In short, it’s a mess, and your best bet at starting out on tanking is, unfortunately, studying rather than doing, practice comes later since the game has been optimized the hell of.
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You’re handicapping yourself by not using free access information and then blame people for not wanting to deal with you, you’re the issue.
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because some people learn better by doing instead of watching? not everyone is hardwired to learn how they teach you in schools.
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you go there, tank, and do content. It’s not hard to accidentally run into mobs already.
Exactly - this is me. And this is why I did way better in college - because there were a lot more hands-on stuff than I ever had in middle or high school.
I learn by doing and then failing - then doing again, and succeeding.
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I think a new tank can figure a lot out by reading the talent and spell descriptions carefully and figure out what to cast when pulling, while fighting and when in trouble.
And the Pandaria Challenge Modes make a good place to practice.
Edit: and learn to be fast too, groups these days seem to expect the tank to also be The Flash when doing dungeons.
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The proving grounds if they can find out how to get there
The system does exist but it’s just not exactly obvious abd there’s no in game guide to it’s existence let alone how to find it 
The level lock NPC is the same just well even more hidden away.
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