This is a thread to complain about or even just state two things that are random and not related.
Then create a conspiracy theory stating how the previous poster’s two things actually are related.
Hats make you bald.
Tortollans are racist. (“I can’t help rooting for the little turtles, though!”)
But… vulpera don’t have hair! (Kidding aside: this has been a major limitation in WoW’s x-mog department. Glares at KT Heritage)
Crabs need food too, lady. Stop rooting for the turtles. 
Hats make you mald.
Look, I’ll make my own conspiracy theory.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Tortollan fascists ruled supreme. They prided themselves on their superiority, their magical control over the universe, and their long, luxurious locks of golden hair.
Whenever they encountered races of lesser merit, they’d eliminate them.
One day, a great wizard of another race opposed the Tortollan fascists. He gave his life to seal their magic and take away the hair of anything that had a shell.
Unfortunately this resulted in the hair of anyone who wears a helmet disappearing, but the Tortollans, while they remained somewhat racist, had their genocidal ways somewhat tamed. For how could they be first in all the universe without hair?
this is why you don’t feed acid to vulpera
The Curse of Flesh makes stone races squishy.
Hunters can’t tame Humans.
Go!
The interesting thing about hats is that when you use them for some quests or temp buffs… you’re not bald. There’s a pirate hat buff that doesn’t make you bald.
You Corrup- ::COUGH!:: I mean, squishiness rating actually determines your type.
Humans have a very high squishiness and are almost slimes.
They’re rightly classed as abberations, not humanoids.
You do one! Say two things!
i’m already bald.
Oh. I’ve always wondered about this, but not sure what to pair it with.
We Pandaren are the only bears where we are. There are no bears of any kind in Pandaria or on the Wandering Isle.
Uhm…
Well…
Pandaren are the only bears where we are.
There are no ducks in the game.
There!
This one is quite simple, actually, when you realise the connection: Shelob, the spider from Lord of the Rings.
Shelob was produced when her mother, an interdimensional being that could be described as being much like an Old God, settled into Middle Earth, took on spider form, and reproduced with a giant spider.
Pandaren are descended from a type of old god that takes a form and then murders everything of that form, save one. It took bear form, devoured all the nearby bears, then reproduced, and boom: Pandaren.
The duck thing is simple: One duck alone walks Azeroth: The one that already did this.
Did you overlook the one duck in Azeroth? It walks unseen (or rather, floats unseen) beneath your very gaze.
These days it masquerades as a fishing bobber…
…The rubber duck.
Big Soda is secretly poisoning our ground water in an effort to sell more bottled beverages.
Undead don’t continue to rot.
You people keep forgetting to say two more things!
AAAAHHHHH!!!
Undead don’t rot because they’re drinking Big Soda, in fact I bet undead are the main demographic.
Why can I tame wolves and foxes but can’t tame worgen or vulpera
Does anyone in Azeroth even brush their teeth
I do.
And it has nothing to do with sentience and everything to do with how Tame Beast works.
When you start throwing those hearts out, I bare my clean, brushed teeth and they bounce right back. Beings that do not brush their teeth get tamed.
Long since magic left our world, there is a holdover: Animals still bare their teeth today even though there is no Tame Beast spell and they don’t brush anyway.
The meaning is still the same: Don’t tame me.
Goblins like money. A lot.
Whiskers the Rat no longer Feigns Death (so sad!).
Unholy DK shouldn’t have a passive Stamina buff, because Alex Jones has never told a lie.
Warriors are veterans of wars, too.
If heard that most of my life yet I have worn a hate since I was a child and have thick glorious hair. My barber comments on how thick my hair is 
There’s a statistical correlation between ice cream consumption and the number of deaths by drowning.
In other words, ice cream makes you drown.