So just to set this thread off, first off it is soda, not pop.
Now that we all agree before I moved from California to the Midwest, my wife warned me of this as a potential real conversation.
Can I have a Coke?
What kind?
Ummm orange I guess.
Using Coke as the descriptive for soda has almost set me off more times than I care to admit.
This one.
Like, sound it out. Could OF. Could’ve. Doesn’t even sound the same.
Using then instead of than always throws me for a loop. It forces me to read the sentence as a sequence of events, like a private act of malicious compliance.
The king of malapropisms had to be the legendary baseball player Yogi Berra. Here are some great examples:
“It ain’t over till it’s over”
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
“It’s like déjà vu all over again.”
Welp, I should of known
Nah, that’s perfectly within the . Skickliers, whatis, you’re, favoritest. Everything is messed up in the title on purpose.
I always *mispeled on posts that has funky misspellings. Can’t help it, something I must do.
For all intensive purposes. Or if you’re an animal lover: “for all intensive porpoises” 
Trying to read this is giving me a headache…
“For God sakes”
It’s “for God’s sake” for God’s sake!
Also:
Could of
Should of
Would of
I could care less
This thread makes me think of this quote from Rocket in GotG:
“Well he don’t know talkin’ good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to “I” and “am” and “Groot,” exclusively in that order.”
You thought starting the sentence with “I herd” was going too far?
Some of my favourite “mistakes” arise when colonialists ask the locals for the names of geographic features and then slap “mount” or “river” on.
Such as ‘flowing water’ River, Mount ‘big hill’ 
Japanese call it Fuji-san. The -san already means mountain. Amuricans say Mt. Fuji-san. Drives me nuts.
When people chose or loose something instead of choose & lose.
Or when I hear “waifu” pronounced as why-foo. I use wah-fu.
Don’t say that to your girlfriend though, she may not have the best reaction to it.
No, since spelling isn’t grammar. It’s orthography.
So, wait… you pronounce it wrong on purpose? The term “waifu” comes from the Japanese borrowed version of the English word “wife”. Spelled in katakana as “ワイフ”, it is pronounced “O-why-fu” or “wife-oo”. Or as you said “why-foo”.
Personally, I don’t even use the word, because… well, I’m kinda normal. But you do seem to hate the proper pronunciation.
no one wants to “axe a question”?
dooker is a good one
Actually, she was right. I had to Google to be sure, though.
Sorry, but no.
In this case…
A thing which has an impact on the Major’s decision (in this case the effects of the war) affects that decision, it doesn’t effect that decision.
Effect can be used as a verb but only in very specific cases.
It could have been phrased “which had an effect on his decision” instead though - which would have worked just fine.