A gaggle of goblins gathered in the engineering workshop. On coathangers nearby on racks were a number of gnome disguise suits. Some were made of leather, complete with elaborate, life-like masks. Others were more robotic, with attachable prosthetic limbs. Finally, on a cheap white wooden table was a sign that read: 'Body paints supplied by Malevic Wyrmhook - wholesale and retail cadaver make-up".
âAre ya sure we can trust this stuff to stay on?â Flywheel asked the assembled goblins, as she squeezed our some fleshy-colored globs from the tube and began wiping it all over her green face. âI donât reckon that forsaken fella has ever been undercover with stakes as high as this.â
Fizzrizz ignored the other goblinâs complaints as she struggled into her gel-padded body suite. She wasnât particularly fond of the extra rolls of padding around the waist either.
âI think Iâve locked onto some co-ordinates, hacking into the gnomish radio signals,â Technical Specialist - Scheki Shorthook exclaimed, as she tapped the multi-coloured buttons on the teleporter control panel. Suddenly there was a crackle and a spark, and all the lights on the machine suddenly went out.
Flywheel checked her appearance in the mirror, before letting out an exasperated sigh. She wasnât a perfect-looking gnome, but this would have to do. Perfection was for chumps! âWeâre just gonna have to go in the old fashioned way. Fizzrizz, can ya open up a mage portal by triangulating Schekiâs co-ordinates?!â
Fizzrizz nodded. âI think I can. Step into the yellow portal on the count of 3. I canât hold it long, thereâs too much interference. Ready? 3, 2, 1âŚGO!â
(A few seconds laterâŚ)
"We made it, " Flywheel hissed, motioning everyone to keep their voices down. âLooks like weâre in some kind of tavern. Whatâs that sign say?â
âThe Pig and Whistle Tavern,â said a pink-haired âgnomeâ with a large fluffy beard.
âGood work, Dizzy. Seems like your eyes are workinâ alright. Does everyone have their name badges on?â
âCall me Snowfloss,â said Fizzrizz, flipping a poofy pigtail.
âGizellby here, reporting for duty maâam.â said a gnome that looked like a vaguely robotic version of the goblin shaman Gilzleby.
âGood. Iâm going by the name Speckledot Wheelfly. Now, remember the goal. Infiltrate the Alliance. Be INCONSPICUOUS. We gotta walk the talk, and do the waddle.â In her hot little hands, âSpeckledotâ the read from a thick manual entitled, âHow to behave like a gnome, 101â.
âThe first thing it says here is to speak using technical words and slightly military-ish speech. I read that as speak gibberish. Letâs give it a try!â
The gaggle of goblins-disguised-as-gnomes all practised their best technical phrases, punctuated with excessive explosions and hand gesticulations.
âExcellent. I think we got this!â âSpeckledotâ declared proudly. âWhatâs our likelihood of detection, Schekidamus?â âSpeckledotâ glanced over at her Technical Specialist, who was strangely quiet and staring off into space. A tendril of drool dangled from her bottom lip.
âWhat are ya doinâ?!â âSpeckledotâ demanded impatiently.
âSchekidamusâ slurped up her slobber and grinned back with a chuckle. âIâm practising lookinâ like an idiot!â
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To be continuedâŚ
