*Mekgrim grabs on to the bars before him, pulling himself up on his feet. *
Hey, could you get me something to eat besides noodles? Are you just trying to kill me slowly?
*He looks down at the bowl on the floor and shrugs. *
Still looking for more goblins. Role playing our expanding business means weâre always hiring.
On top of stellar rp, we also have a dedicated group of world protecting goblins that raid once a week. They could use the help of a backup tank that is willing to assist on just a few fights where their strategy is a 3 tank strategy. Additionally dps or healers wouldnât be turned down either. Melees are in short supply.
So look no further. Short and green is our only requirement. No IC interview required so whisper a member today!
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Gnomes are the master race. You stand no chance against brilliant gnomish ingenuity. Once Mechagnomes join the alliance, goblins with their insuperior thinking capacities will be render obsolete.
Thanks for the bump, rebellious gnome. Iâd like to see Moon Guard gnomes raise an army the size employed by Flashbang Exports. Yaâll look a bit disorganised to me.
You bring your fiddly tinker toys, weâll bring the A.M.O.D. and the explosives. Weâll see who comes out on top.
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goblins with their insuperior thinking capacities will be render obsolete.
With a name like that and such awful spelling and grammar, I am having some serious doubts. Its kinda funny. Even the mechagnomes in mechagon seem to recognize goblin genius when they see it. Iâve come to the conclusion that smart gnomes donât deny goblin intelligence. I am afraid such crude engineering is no match for the full extent of a the technology might of a goblin that is really proud of what they do. Then again, you should probably be afraid.
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Psst, RustwellâŠitâs awful not aweful. She quickly stuffed his arms full with an oversized dictionary, and then crossed her arms, resuming her tough gangsta pose.
Goblin genius! Thatâs right buddy. We canât help being smart. We were born this way!
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giggles at the use of the word genius
All the goblins should get a panda hug!
Maybe the Gnomes too, but donât tell anyoneâŠ
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Thanks Mianyu! Your hugs are nice and fluffy Iâm sure.
Flashbang Exports has an IC guild meeting coming up this Saturday at 9pm in Fuselight, Badlands. If youâd like to get involved in the RP side of this manufacturing business, this is a fantastic opportunity.
Just like the professionals, we have an agenda for our meetings. Our secretary notes all kinds of things down in our meeting minutes, for example, the goblins that have worked extra hard and deserving of a payrise. We also make naughty goblins that set off party totems (in the middle of this formal occasion) sit in the corner. Flywheel chairs the meeting, and loudly announces the Employee of the Month, who receives a bonus! We also talk about the current happenings in the guild, and who might be trying to steal our profits.
If you would like to join Flashbang Exports and see the game from a whole new perspective, join our discord!
https://discord.gg/hDy8Ktg
Or else hit up anyone online from the guild.
The only rule is that you must be a goblin!
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Flashbang Exports Monthly Meeting Report for July
Written by Gilzleby
Attendees:
Flywheel - Head Boss!
Opfuz.
Walkan - Shipping and Logistics.
Chienne - Supervisor, Flowers and Potions.
Janetrees - Supervisor Collections.
Skitzo - Unassigned.
Jerome - Mechanics and Maintenance.
Rivetex.
Dixie.
Gavoz - Supervisor of Brutes.
Gilzleby - Executive Assistant.
Late comers
Fizzrizz.
Penny Pedalmetal.
We start off with the roll call as per usual. Jerome is assigned to making fireworks. We have someone from every department, business is expanding nicely.
Flywheel officially introduces herself. She ainât no Gallywix, we have workerâs rights and we may even get to form a union. Gavoz volunteered to take the role of Union Representative with Jerome as his assistant. Walkan wants to be known as an Independent Contractor as he wants no part of the union nonsense. Disagreements are thick on the ground, but weâll work on it Iâm sure. If ya donât pay the membership then ya get no rights⊠simple.
Supervisors Report
Gavoz, Janetrees and Chienne are called to the stage for their supervisor reports.
Janetrees: The Black Market is working great with the Booty Bay Tours being a wonderful cover. If anyone needs some work they can speak to Janetrees.
Gavoz: Has been working with the Blackhand Battalion and he thinks it would be in our best interests to ally ourselves with them. They are for the Horde completely and had a recent incursion into Lordaeron against the Iron Ward. Back them and we back the Horde.
Jerome asked whatâs in it for us? Gavoz says that the Warlord will pay well for mercenaries. He showed a nice jig gling sack as proof. War is good for business.
Gavoz also managed to buy a nice grill, so Barbeques are on at his apartment!
Flywheel asks if the quiet one at the back, Rivetex, wants in with the Brutes. And she likes getting paid so sheâs in!
Contracts (minimum wage) are sorted for both Rivetex Antillia and Penny Pedalmetal to both start as Brutes.
Employee of the Month
Everyoneâs favourite time of the meeting.
Walkan wants to nominate Mekgrim, even though he is currently captured by hippy druids. He is an outstanding member of our organisation.
Chienne is nominated by Skitzo for helping in Darkshore, but she canât really win again.
Meanwhile, Flywheelâs butt was nominated but disqualified for some reason I a$s-ume.
Final nominations and counts are:
Mekgrim: 8 votes.
Opfuz: 2 votes.
Mekgrim wins easily this month, his package will be sent in the mail.
New Inventions or Business Schemes
Dixie gets up on stage. Sheâs been to Mechagon, apparently itâs real, whoâd have known? She brought some photos some of them were so NSFW⊠capacitors and coils all lit up and fully charged⊠damn fine components, damn fine.
Other business
Walkan has been reading through the company charter while Gavoz was talking about his Union stuff. Turns out we need a vote, 50% wins⊠we all voted but the result was 5 to 5⊠an even split⊠this may need more discussions (and bribes.)
Anyone not happy with the guild business can give feedback. Just fill in a form 27A-Cd in triplicate that is signed by fifteen members of the organisation and then the feedback may be followed up, or not, depending on time of day, moon phase etc. etc.
Screenshot
https://i.imgur.com/gGh64hs.png
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attaches rocket boots to the thread, steps back and hits the ignition button
Boom! Right to the top.
Itâs Winter Veil in July, and has Gobfather Winter got a deal for you! Join Flashbang Exports and heâll pay your initiation fee. Not good enough ya say? How bout dis:
No interviews, no lengthy applications to fill out, no nuttin! Itâs FREE!
I knew dat would getcha attention. All ya gotta do is sign ya name to the contract, and ignore the tiny mouse print at the bottom. Yeah, yeah. Weâve hired an exterminator. Mice write the stupidest things. Anyways.
Sign your name an Eddyâs ya uncle; youâre in!
Easy peasey, pal.
Goblins only, though. Gobfather Winter is picky. Only the best, see?
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âDenizens of Azeroth! Itâs ya pal Mekgrim, and ohhhh goblin do I have a deal for you.â
Mekgrim presses a large red button on the side of his traveling shop cart. Whistling past the gathering of spectators, rockets shoot from the side of his cart just over the crowds heads. Suddenly they turn upward, rushing toward the clouds, and bursting into brilliant colors and shapes. As quickly as the display happened, it ends, and a low groan can be heard.
âEh.â Mekgrim leans his head over the carts railing and spots his assistant rolling side to side in pain. With just a shh said, Mekgrim quickly whips a sheet over top of the cart.
âThey pop. They light up your event brighter than a world tree on fire! Flashbang Exports is offering a buy four get one free deal today only. Oh, and if youâre up for an adventure then I have an opening for a new assistant.â
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A large poster has been attached to the wall behind the bar with a picture of Flywheel relaxing in a reclining beach chair, holding a glass of tropical punch with a miniature umbrella. Underneath is a neat letter.
Dearest Flashbang goblins,
As your ever-hardworking boss now for a good 18 months with no holidays or luxurious bonuses, I feel it is about time I took a good long holiday. Please donât wreck the factory while Iâm gone. IF I ever come back to this money-grubbing life, I expect everything to be clean and tidy, just the way I left it! I thought about leaving Mekgrim in charge, but he has an unfortunate habit of attracting accidents. So, Iâve decided to hand the reins to the much less interesting and altogether BORING Hercula Hagglegood. That way, if I do ever come back, youâll be so glad to be relieved of the tedium that yaâll welcome me back with open arms! Hercula canât help it that sheâs not very exciting. Well, she is, kind of. Ya just gotta get to know her. Sheâs a footbomb champion from college, didnât ya know? Anyhows, all other positions remain the same. Donât go getting all big-headed while Iâm gone, or Hercula will thump ya. Now, where did I leave my sarong?
Best wishes,
Flywheel Mahoney
Ex-CEO
(( OOC: Same person, different character. Switching from a priest to a warrior because tanks are hard to come by!
Flashbang Exports is a fantastic guild and we are STILL growing! Guild chat is a very social place and we have lots of keen goblin RPers. We have events several times a week, as well as a normal raids and mythic dungeons. Nothing too serious! Weâre all here for the fun, companionship, and good laughs!
If youâd like to join, either message anyone from the guild online, or join our discord server:
https://discord.gg/hDy8Ktg
For all goblinkind! ))
5 Likes
Still dressed in a leopard print thong bikini, and lying on palm tree beach towel, Flywheel casually leaned over to inspect the contents of a small golden metal chest. Inside was a stash of coins, and a particularly large ring, adorned with an enormous glistening ruby.
âAh, the pleasures of a wealthy life,â she murmured, trying the ring on again once more for size. It didnât fit properly at all. It was far too large for her tiny hands. Nevertheless, Flywheel smiled and pretended it did.
âI wonder how Hercula is getting on?â Flywheel asked aloud to a passing seagull. The bird circled nonchalantly before depositing a small white dollop in close proximity to her straw sunhat. âWell I never!â Flywheel exclaimed. âIâll take it as a sign. Everything must be going perfectly!â
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Kajaâcola idea
Houses made of dirt! When you clean them⊠THEYâRE GONE.
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Looking for something different? Flashbang Exports is a social RP guild with a fantastic, bubbly atmosphere. We crack stupid jokes all the time and are happy to meet new people and show them our unique style!
The Flashbang way is all about feeling good about yourself, despite what perceived flaws you might have (e.g. being short), and complete acceptance, warts and all. Weâre not worried about what everyone else is doing, just about working together and being a great team.
Things you wonât find in Flashbang:
- elitists
- snobs
- cliques
- emo/edgy types
- people trying to live a virtual life through their character
Some of us might still act a bit like goblins even though weâre OOC, but all of us have a nice clear line between fantasy and reality. Itâs just a game, after all!
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Tavern night tonight, followed by timewalking dungeon spam. Rp and pve goodness!
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GUIDE TO FLASHBANG EXPORTS GUILD EVENTS
GIZLETON GRAND PRIX
Type: RP
Frequency: Annual (early April)
Location: Scrabblescrewâs Camp, Desolace
Poster: https://i.imgur.com/tDvOj3P.png
The Gizleton Grand Prix is a goblin-style car race around an obstacle course in the dry wasteland of Desolace. Each 2-person team consists of a driver (not a paladin or DK) and a co-driver. The vehicle MUST be a Mechano-hog! (Previously we allowed mammoths but found they had a swimming speed advantage). Flashbang also has a limited number of Mechano-hogs for sale prior to the event for the low price of 25K gold. Event includes a number of race volunteers, officials, and a wild after party.
GLITZ ALLEY GARMENT SHOWCASE (G.A.G.S.)
Type: RP
Frequency: Annual (late September)
Location: Bilgewater Harbor, Azshara
Poster: https://i.imgur.com/1TnrZZ3.png
This is a transmog contest like none other! Each year there is a color scheme (last year it was green and yellow). The idea is to display the most dazzling costumes within this theme, with emphasis on BLING. The shinier the better. Keep an eye out for diamond-topped canes and glittering tiaras to complete your outfit. A judging panel will rate each outfit on a score out of 10. The highest score of each category wins mega-prizes!
GOBBIKAH (NEW!)
Type: RP
Frequency: Annual (late December)
Independence Day meets Christmas! A festival celebrating the goblin emancipation from the Zandalari and changing the course of their own future 4000 years ago. Hosted by GG of Bladeblade Industries, this event aims to unite goblins across all servers, especially our homegrown Flashbang Exports and Twitcherberry Inc. Modern goblins use the event as a tax write off and an excuse to do appear to be âniceâ to each other. Complete with lore story and mini games. More details to be added later.
THE HORDE GUILD EXPO
Type: RP
Frequency: Monthly (3rd Friday of the month, 9-10pm)
Location: Valley of Honor, Orgrimmar
Poster: https://i.imgur.com/FqFGSGe.png
This public event aims to showcase all of the active, recruiting guilds on Moon Guard Horde. Spots are not reserved, so get there early to claim one! It is recommended to place banners (if you have unlocked them). Other useful props include guild tabards, guild cloaks, and the Korâkron Annihilator guild mount which has a flag. Write up an advertizing macro to spam everyone with! Potential recruits, feel free to wander around and chat to people and see if you can find a guild that suits you. Event hosted by Flashbang Exports, complete with pyrotechnics display at 9:50pm.
FLASHBANG EXPORTS GUILD MEETING
Type: RP
Frequency: Monthly (2nd Saturday of the month, 9-10:30pm)
Location: Fuselight, Badlands
Poster: https://i.imgur.com/BrVHSKJ.png
This is an IC guild meeting where the Head Executive, Supervisors, Technicians, and Merchants (and potential new employees) get together in the vacant building with the massive telescope in Fuselight, Badlands. The aim of the meeting is to catch up on recent guild events and storylines, as well as offer any feedback or suggestions. The highlight is the Employee of the Month award, and other promotions may also take place. Goblins are reminded that this is a FORMAL occasion and to leave their party totems at home. Snacks and refreshments provided.
FLASHBANG PvP - BATTLEGORUNDS
Type: PvP
Frequency: Fortnightly (Every 2nd Wednesday, 4:30-5:30am)
Currently this is an Oceanic event, where we queue together for battlegrounds to SMASH SOME ALLIANCE FACE! Our success can be a little varied. Sometimes weâre on a winning streak, other times itâs us that gets turned into pancakes. The main thing is that we have a bit of fun, work on our team skills, and collect a few Marks of Honor.
GOBLIN WALK-UP RP NIGHT
Type: RP
Frequency: Weekly (Saturdays 8-9pm)
Location: The Wyvernâs Tail, Orgrimmar
Poster: https://i.imgur.com/CKB7R6h.png
This is a casual tavern night where goblins of Flashbang Exports (and goblins from other guilds also welcome) shake off the stress of the day and relax over a good drink. Frequently we share stories and catch up on the gossip. Goblins are advised that the attire is dressy-casual, so wear a nice dress, jacket, or even old jeans if thatâs all you have. But leave your weapons at the door! Introductions provided.
HORDE TAVERN NIGHT
Type: RP
Frequency: Weekly (Wednesdays 8-10pm)
Location: The Wyvernâs Tail, Orgrimmar
This public tavern event is not hosted by Flashbang Exports, but we encourage our members to go along and mingle with some of the other races. Public relations are good for business, after all!
NORMAL BfA RAIDING
Type: PvE
Frequency: Weekly (Fridays 10pm-12am)
Flashbang Exports works in conjunction with the Goblin Coliseum discord to put together an all-goblin raid team that works on NORMAL difficulty. Currently, we have friends joining us from WrA and Proudmoore servers. Our progression (as of 8/08/2019) is 8/8 Uldir, 6/8 BoD, and 2/8 Eternal Palace. We put aside BoD to work on Eternal Palace, as it provided more gear upgrades for our people. As an all-goblin raid team, we generally exclude druids, monks, paladin, and demon hunters from our raids. Newcomers to the group are welcome, but will be allocated to DPS. Only regular, reliable, and hardworking goblins will be allocated to a tank or healer position. Discord voice chat compulsory, even if you donât have a microphone. DBM addon also strongly recommended. Full mechanics of each fight explained in detail.
HEROIC ISLAND EXPEDITIONS (NEW!)
Type: PvE
Frequency: Twice weekly (Tues 8:30-9:15pm and Sat 12:30-1:15am)
Poster: https://i.imgur.com/GXvc6Ed.png
Heroic Island Expeditions are a new event hosted by Mekgrim (Tues) and Hercula (Sat). The idea is to enter guild groups (3-person teams) to pick up as much azerite as we can, while beating the computer-generated Alliance team. Rewards include pet and mount prizes, as well as azerite power. We hope to train and get better and eventually delve into mythic and PvP levels.
MAGICAL MYTHICS
Type: PvE
Frequency: Three times a week (Sat 11:30pm, Sun 9pm, Tues 4:30am)
We have three mythics sessions a week. Currently the Tues Oceanic team is full and has been working together for about 3 months, so are slightly further ahead, currently working in the M3-M5 range. The Sat and Sun mythics teams tend to be more variable, and usually work in the M0-M2 range, completing dungeon world quests, and helping people to gear up. Recommnded ilevel for mythics: 380+ (but we can usually carry for M0s). We have the following vacancies that would be great to fill:
Saturday 11:30pm - 1 DPS spot (melee preferred, but anything will do)
Sunday 9pm - looking for a good tank (goblin warrior or DK)
OTHER EVENTS
Flashbang Exports also hosts occasional Goblin Lore Expeditions, Fishing Contests, and a Pet Battle Duelling Event is in the planning stages. Additionally, we have a team working on bringing the Flashbang magic to WoW Classic. Stay tuned for more details!
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Dats right, Gob fans! We gave Classic a test run today and just canât resist. Flashbang is takin a walk on the wild side and going back in time. Cept, well, no Goblins.
But we got dat covered, see? Weâre sending a group of peons, warehouse workers, and uddah non essentials back in time to take control of the economy. Yeah, the tech is still in development, but by the time the portal opens, BOOM! There they go.
If ya interested in stepping through dat portal with us, all Horde racesâll be welcomed. Yeah, even da walkin dead. So long as profitâs ya interest. And makin gold for the mount. Bet dat gotcha attention.
So, whatevah ya interest, FLASHBANG EXPORTS has gotcha covered.
Would Eddy P lie to ya? Nah.
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Goblin raid time coming up tonight 10p-12a. Heroic Island expeditions follow at 12:30am. Letâs make that gold Gobos!!!
1 Like