Gnomes And Goblins: The Truth of Shadowlands

Community General Discussion
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It’s very true, an undeniable fact, that Gnomes and Goblins are not featured (yet again) in Shadowlands.

And, after much consideration, there is a very good reason why: because if we were featured in Shadowlands, there would be no expansion at all.

Imagine, if you will, that as the Maw Walker, you arrive in Oribos and go through the whole spiel. And, instead of Bolvar and the Ebon Blade, Mekkatorque with a legion of Gnomes arrives shoulder to shoulder with Gazlowe and his army of Goblins.

Mekkatorque: So you have a problem with some big, scary, tattooed doofus who lives in that hole in the center of your city? A big, scary, tattooed doofus who has already been thwarted by this “Maw Walker”, right?

Oribos guy/gal: “Uhhhh…yeah. See he’s the Jailor and he’s tryi-”.

Gazlowe: And what? He’s got Azeroth’s most evil banshee down there too? Hey, on Azeroth, we don’t call that a threat, we call that a twofer!

Oribos guy/gal: A…a twofer?

Gazlowe: Yeah, a twofer! As in two for the price of one! It’s a deal!

Gazlowe motions to a Gnome and Goblin mage

Gazlowe: You guys know what to do!

with a techo-arcane pop, a massive cannon, last seen above Azshara appears above Oribos, specifically, pointing directly into the Maw

Gazlowe: “It’s about time we got to use this thing! Mekky, you’re an expert at pressing buttons and obliterating things. Do the honors?”

A wide grin spreads, almost evilly, across Mekkatorque’s face

Mekkatorque: “Absolutely!”

Mekkatorque cracks his knuckles, and slams his fist on a blinking red button. An incomprehensible flash of light and the smell of ozone floods Oribos. From the center of Oribos, thick, almost viscous, smoke rises in a column.

Mekkatorque: “Well, that’s done. Good luck in the afterlife!”

Mekkatorque, Gazlowe, and their assembled legions of technicians dissappear

pan down to the Maw

Nothing is left but the remains of crumbled, smokimg ruins of towers, tattoo parlors, shady vendors, empty sets of once sentient armor, and a couple of rapidly dissapating remains shown to be Sylvannas and the Jailor.

Cue end credits.

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Just as an aside, there’ve been references to a mechanic/Tinker afterlife, so they’re probably all there.

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Maybe. In fact, I’m convinced the Faeries in Ardenweald are the souls of Gnomes and Goblins.

But the fact remains, if Gnomes and Goblins got involved in the war in Shadoands, it would’ve been over in seconds.

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Goblins and Gnomes are damned to Turbo Maw.

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Blizzard hire this person

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I physically cringed at this. I can’t imagine someone actually took the time to type this seriously.

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Man everyone look at this guy! He’s way too cool to be reading stuff like this! Everyone tell him how cool he is!

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Oh I forgot this is positive posts only. Are all 10,000 of your posts brownnosing’s other users? Spend some time in the real world for once.

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Would be the ultimate insult if the ‘joke’ races blew up Sylvanas! Alas we aren’t even npcs anywhere except BFA.

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I mean I know I’ll never be as cool and successful as you! Dumping on other people’s creativity is a great use of all that important real world time you have!

(also, liking your own post with alts? Lol that’s pathetic)

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Actually, Gnomes and Goblins are featured in SL, it’s just they’re in the Maw, specifically, that River Styx thing that you jump into during the opening quest chain.

They’re in their spirit forms and are being tormented by Maw Sworn.

Oddly enough, if you look carefully, some of the gnomes are actually Mechagnomes because, for some strange reason, the Mechagnome spirits have spirit version of their mechanical arms and legs.

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Gnomes and Goblins are the reason a majority of souls are in the shadowlands in the first place.

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There’s a gnome right here:

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You’ve got all of two posts and they are in this thread. lol Why don’t you come back on your main.

That gave me a great big laugh. :laughing:
Thank you for sharing Elmer!

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You’re welcome! I almost added Gazlowe mentioning something like, “And hey, if you die again, at least you’re in the right place!”

But my favortie bit was Gazlowe calling the Jailor and Sylvanas a “twofer”. :joy:

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The only problem with this whole scenario is that prior to the Maw Walker arriving in Oribos… they were already familiar with Millhouse Manastorm.

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Works for me! It’s time for the Gnomes and Goblins to clean up this mess. I’ll go grab my toolbox and mech suit!

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What about all the innocent souls in the maw?

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I don’t know. Bwonsamdi mentions explicitly how they made a deal with whatshisface, implying that perhaps both Millhouse and Milly bypassed the whole jusgement thing.

But, in true Gnome fashion, they at least found love with one another…finally!

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Milhouse seems to be a nuisance on an inter-planar scale at this point.

He’s not even dead (yet)

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