We can talk about Rage generation, Warrior rotations, and ability use all we want and its still not germane to the discussion.
What is germane is quite simple:
As a Warrior, by stance, 2h or shield, talents, and tanking gear… YOU choose how much damage you take. No one else does it for you, that includes the healer.
As a Warrior YOU have the choice to blend stance, 2h or shield, talents, and gear to find equilibrium.
Blaming others for a choice that you make, without understanding the consequences of that choice is foolish.
If you take X damage every pull, and a healer utilizes 80% of their mana pool healing you in the most efficient way possible…then they are going to have to drink every pull. Thats not their fault.
With all that being said, as a Holy Paladin, I had no issues with 2H tanking if the Warrior was smart about it. I ran Devo to offset some of the AC loss from a shield and I was the best single target healer in game with Blessing of Light on target.
However not all healers are built for that play style and there are thresholds where it can be unproductive if done exclusively.
The biggest mistake is not talking to your healer…and as a healer not opening a dialogue with your tank.
Find a compromise.
Find what works for both of you.
It can be successful if you work together.