New medication, new voices in my head, let’s go!
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- I just realised that the Orc Grunt Harness, the chest-slot item, is designed so that it lifts, spreads and supports for both men and women. No wonder Thrall’s using a similar harness at his age, by that point, gravity is everyone’s enemy!
And how often do Tauren with piercings get stuck in that bone-row breastplate from the Tauren heritage mog? Imagine a friend trying to tug it loose and you’re standing there trying to decide if you want to give them advice or a safety word.
- I want Wrathion to show up at the tail end of this expansion to be Battle Buddies with Anduin and Faerin. And I want, now that Anduin has Shalamayne back as well as the Light, for there to be a situation where Faerin’s lance breaks, she has no other weapons, Anduin pulls his sword in half and throws her the Shalla’tor half, while he keeps the Ellemayne half, and Faerin’s just looking at the blade she just grabbed, Anduin, then back at the blade and starts shouting about what other things he hasn’t told her about.
I mean, I just want you to imagine Faerin, all giddy because Anduin tells her a Dragon is about to join them, the ambassador of the Black Dragon Flight no less, she’s shifting from foot to foot as this black speck on the horizon grows bigger and bigger, then this gorgeous creature of obsidian scales and horns slides through the air and lands in a flurry of wings and claws, booming loudly for Anduin.
She’s in awe, she’s never seen a Dragon up close, and this one can talk and is apparently both very friendly and highly intelligent, Anduin pushes through the crowd to greet this ‘Wrathion’, Faerin following closely because she’s mad for Dragons, has been ever since she was a tiny little child, the Dragons takes a few steps forwards, is suddenly enveloped in a cloud of dark mist and then this gorgeous, absolutely dressed to the nines young man with stunning hair, devilish red eyes and a warm smile on that toffee-bronze skinned face, before he and Anduin embrace like old friends, laughing and patting each other on the back.
And Faerin is paralysed by a single thought.
“Oh no, he’s hot…”
And Wrathion, having no idea, tells her he will endeavour to fulfill her every wish after Anduin joking tells his friend about the fables the Arathai have about Dragons, and the inside of Faerin’s head goes pink and she starts stammering.
First Official Azerothian Polycule WHEN, Blizzard?
I don’t think Stormwind will care about how, just so long as they get an heir of Wrynn blood for the throne sometime in the next decade or so.
- The problem with races like Harpies, where they’re mono-gendered, is that their hostility is actually an evolutionary failure. You have to fight the very things you need for your species to reproduce, you lack a secondary parent to aid with raising the offspring, you have territorial disputes with the ‘stock’, and there’s a good chance the parent of your child might end up killing it, and you, in revenge for the attack that spawned it in the first place.
Now, Harpies half-way get around this by their ability to self-fertilize (and where is the fun in that?) and create a clone, which has all of their memories and personality … but this is also an evolutionary dead end, as eventually, all of the population will share the same, or similar, genetic code and a single disease or genetic abnormality can wipe them out whereas a species with a larger, and deeper, gene-pool could survive due to mutations and variations preventing the entire population clocking out early.
Furthermore, this self-replication process also is theorized to be why so many Harpies are either feral or hopelessly aggressive, if not both, because they’ve undergone the parthenogenesis process for however many thousands, or tens of thousands, of generations that they’ve degraded their genetics to the point where they’re losing intelligence, and the ability to think rationally. And the rare few races they don’t murder via snu snu on Kalimdor are Quillboar and Centaur, and neither of those two races are known for their empathic prowess or intellectual gifts, add to the fact they’re both from wildly different origins, Quillboar being the result of Aggaman’s blood seeping into the soil during the War of the Ancients against the Legion, and possibly being tainted by Legion ichor in the process, and Kalimdor Centaur are the result of, erm, magically-enforced non-consensual snuggling between an Elemental Princess and her victim, a powerful Keeper of the Grove, and the Centaur born of this union were so violent and barbaric they killed their quasi-divine father shortly after birth.
Realistically, a mono-gendered species that required outside ‘assistance’ to maintain a healthy gene-pool would be more successful if they were symbiotic rather than parasitic. And I don’t just mean in WoW, but in most fantasy/Sci-Fi stories, mono-gendered species that are successful tend to be strongly symbiotic towards other sapient races, the Asari from Mass Effect is a good example, and the Klyntar/Symbiotes from Marvel Comics are another, at least in more modern stories.
That said, I am consumed with the giggles about a population that gets increasingly mad because these well-bathed and -groomed Mono-Gendered species in tight leather armor that the villagers live next to keeps swanning over and seducing their villagers, but they can’t complain too loudly as the Mono-Gendered species is also the ones keeping that border safe from bandits and monsters, and they’re perfect gentlemen/ladies with their partners and don’t ask for more than conjugal visits and co-parenting, but the gender that isn’t being availed by these ‘others’ is getting more and more incensed because of the lack of attention.
The gay/lesbian/bi/pan members of the community, however, don’t see the problem with the situation as they get carried away to their new polycule to help raise the kids.
- Has the lapidary and stonemason communities of the Alliance and Horde started to lodge complaints about clusters of Earthen outside their work-spaces getting all flustered about the ‘fine polishing work’ and the ‘delicate detail work’ the crafters are practicing on their gems and stones? About their staff getting accosted for a ‘pint of Cinderbrew’ and strange requests to go ‘climb the mountains’ or ‘explore some mine-shafts’. Ironforge and Blackrock Dwarves alike refuse to answer questions about their distant kin’s sudden fascination with Kalimdor and Eastern Kingdoms lapidary guilds and stonemason guilds, nor can anyone provide answers about the outbreak of a strange new STD, nick-named ‘Gravel-Rash’, that has begun to emerge amongst the adventurer populations of Azeroth.
What happens when you try to butt-chug cinderbrew? A quick visit to the Spirit Guide, I’d imagine!
- Being a guard and getting sent to protect Goldshire must be seen as a golden ticket to new recruits, and a punishment detail to veterans. Its full of mad adventurers cosplaying as all manner of weird creatures, the tavern’s constantly either on fire, full of half-dressed idiots thrashing away to strange music at all hours of the day, or the owners are having to fumigate the place or power-clean the rooms with disintegration spells to get rid of all the unmentionable stains, smells and unfathomable devices left behind. Don’t even get Marshal Dughan about Adventurers dueling in the middle of the village and throwing around Light-knows-what in terms of spells, battle-beasts, unholy creatures and worse, you’ll be there for hours and have grey hairs from the stories he can tell you!
- Considering that Murlocs grow up from tadpoles, there’s probably some really tragic stories about young children taking home tadpoles that they think will become frogs and instead are kidnapping the children of another sapient race. And considering how fragile tadpoles are, and that they really do need fresh, moving water and access to oxygen …, well, let’s just say there might be a reason so many Murlocs hate the Land-Walkers. Also people from Westfall need to be taken to task over their dang stew recipes!
- Do Highmountain Tauren shed their antlers like actual moose do? I’m consumed with the giggles of Baine coming home only to find Mayla’s antlers on the floor, he falls to his knees, thinking something horrific has happened, only for her to pop out of another room and ask him if he’s okay as Baine’s holding her antlers, looking at her, looking at the shed antlers, then turns around and loudly asks why she couldn’t tell him they were ‘fake’ horns? And then gets clobbered for the insinuation the span of her antlers isn’t ‘real’?
And considering that most deer horns are covered with a layer of velvet that naturally falls off, and scratching it off has a similar effect to, ah, ‘taking matters into your own hands’ for stags in the wild, I’m just picturing Baine and Mayla, cuddling, Baine sees the velvet starting to peel and, trying to be a good mate, starts rubbing it away, only for a squirming Mayla to inform him, loudly, of just what he’s doing.
“So … stop?”
“Ancestors, no, get the good brush, and put your back into it!”
- With all the various shapes and sizes of Azeroth’s peoples, how often do people get stuck in doorways? How are chairs designed to accommodate races with tails, like Draenei, Dracthyr, Tauren and Vulpera? Do Pandaren, Orcs and other heavy-set races have to have specifically weight-rated chairs? Imagine the despair of being a cobbler and being renown for making fine boots that can last for years, and suddenly you have to redesign your entire production line because now there’s races with hooves and paws and toes that stick out of the boots no matter what, but they still want your boots, and they have to provide the same level of comfort, support and protection?
- Is walking near, or having on display, strong magnets without adequate shielding or warning, a hate-crime for Mecha-Gnomes? Like they just walk into the store, freeze, and then topple over because your gorram lodestone collection’s magnetic field 404’d their processors, or they fly through the air and get stuck to the magnets?
- The Goblins in Undermine have referenced ‘GobTube’, do we have streamers in Azeroth now? I know we’ve had cameras and the ability to transmit radio waves since vanilla, do taverns have radios where the latest hits from the most famous bands and singers play? Suddenly I’m imagining the Shal’dorei introducing the Horde to holographic display crystals and the Nightborn version of ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ and it just consuming the Horde.
“Why does she not just declare Mak’gora after her sister slept with her betrothed?”
“Shut up, Grimgore, I’m trying to watch!”
https://tinyurl.com/bdbwb8cd
I have discovered AU Hurt/Comfort Fics between Kil’jaeden and Velen and I will never financially recover from this. If anyone knows who the artist is, I will be very grateful.
https://tinyurl.com/2pafbbvk
Visages allow one to assume a form that matches their inner ‘vision’ of themselves, or a ‘humanified’ version of themselves. Does that mean a Visage might allow one to be transgender, like what we’ve seen in Dragonflight with a few female Dracthyr preferring to use male-presenting Visages, and a few male Dragons preferring to use female-presenting Visages?
How widely available is the Transmorphic Tincture we developed in Draenor? Naturally somebody would have brought the Frostweed across as cuttings and samples, but the other half of the potion is a very specific oil extracted from a very specific type of fish only found on Draenor. Its much less likely these fishes were extracted and brought to Azeroth, but it does make me wonder, did somebody see the tincture, start counting coins in their heads, and then start paying adventurers and mercenaries for live, small silvery eels that can apparently tolerate fresh as well as salt water as well as a variety of temperatures and water-quality situations, and set out into some cold, constantly winter-y part of Azeroth to establish a Frostweed farm and a series of eel ponds?
Assuming they could continue to enrich the soil with volcanic ash and provide a cold, hard soil similar to what the Frostweed grew in naturally, and could establish a series of ponds where the growing eels could be sorted by size to avoid cannibalism and disease, that person could then start marketing a potion that could transform one’s gender for several hours, if not days or weeks … but its pretty pricey for the average joe/jane. 25 silver a potion is fairly hefty, especially in the current economic climate the Alliance and the Horde’s civilian populations are facing.
I’d imagine that Winterfall would be the most likely location, given its similarity to Frostridge, and that would put any such industry squarely under the thumb of the Steamwheedle Cartel, which meant formerly Gazlowe, and currently Marin Noggenfogger, would be the primary export point for such tinctures. And given how brilliant Noggenfogger is when it comes to alchemy, and how protective he is of his personal goldmine, the Noggenfogger Elixir, and it has transformative properties of its own, albeit random ones, I would bet that the Goblin would have quickly developed a way to mass produce the potion using more commonly available ingredients, albeit with an eye to increasing profit and demand by making the effects cumulative, meaning it would require multiple doses to allow the transformation to take full effect, and multiple doses to maintain the effect, with it slowly reverting without a constant supply.
Although, I could also see Marin and his wife, Sprinkle, being a bit more sympathetic, albeit still mercantile, towards the situation and selling the tincture as a ‘medical supply’ to those who need it, making it exempt from taxes, at least to a point? Marin’s greedy, as we see in the short stories, but he’s not heartless if he thinks he can show kindness without being undermined and removed from power, and having a large swath of the population being willing to hurl his rivals into a pit if they dare to threaten the Goblin supplying them with their tincture might be a fun story to pursue. I rather think Sprinkle would have taken this endeavor under her wing, rather than Marin, who seems more distracted by being the new Trade Prince of the Steamwheedle and the responsibilities and burdens of a position far more heavy than just running his own port town in some desert on the southern end of nowhere.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I need to sleep. I’ll come back to this later.