I did promise I would do this, and the repeated letters demanding Dwarf Love from my deviant grey-matter have encouraged me to get 'er done.
Now, the first thing I want to bring up is that Dwarves don’t technically ride goats, technically their racial mount is a type of sheep, similarity to the Big Horn Sheep. This actually took me a few days to puzzle out that the Dwarves are riding a hybrid species, and Goats and Sheep are heavily related to begin with.
Big Horn Sheep tend to be rather belligerent towards non-Bighorns, and the males in particular tend to be absolute bastards, even going so far as to headbutt ewes that won’t mate with them off of cliffs when they’re in the middle of their rut. Moreover, Big Horn ewes tend to be extremely skittish and paranoid, especially so when they have lambs.
And they’re not that big, especially not to carry a Dwarf, who tend to, on average, weigh even more than a Human of comparable size, plus armor, weapons and assorted equipment. Yet, the Dwarven Ram does so. Looking at the profile of the head, it’s not quite sheep-like, its more like that of a Goat. The hooves/feet are also closer in design to that of a goat rather than a sheep, but there’s a lot of overlap there to begin with. The horns are also massive, and the limbs much thicker than would be necessary, compared to what a wild mountain sheep or goat would require. That much bulk is actually a hazard when you’re trying to get up the side of a steep mountain, and Big Horn sheep tend to avoid snowy terrain precisely because their hooves can’t handle the ice, and the natural adaptations they have for climbing, specifically the undersides of their hooves, would suffer frostbite very very quickly in an area that is locked in snow all year.
If this is indeed a hybrid of Sheep and Goat to create a more aggressive and intelligent mount, since sheep are skittish and relatively stupid (they’re able to recognise individuals and even remember them after years of separation, but they’re very much a herd-mentality creature), then technically this is a Geep, and somehow (probably a Wizard’s fault), they’re also fertile, something that real-life Geeps are not. We know that originally the Three Dwarven Clans were united under a singular royal family, but the Ironforge and Wildhammer Clans eschewed the Arcane as something devious and untrustworthy, while the Dark Irons went the opposite way and saw it as a path to power that could surpass a thousand swords. Likely, the humble Dwarven Ram saw its origin in the original era of the united Dwarven Clans and has existed for so long it has migrated to other regions in the Eastern Kingdoms and, as a result of adventurers and explorers, probably become an invasive pest in Kalimdor and Northrend.
But we’re drifting off topic. Why would the Ironforge Dwarves ride Sheep (GEEP!) into battle.
Well … Dwarves are stubborn. They’re also inventive, and tend to prefer defensive tactics when fighting, to take advantage of their superior center of gravity and endurance, their heavy armor and weapons. The War-Geep provide a mount capable of easily scaling the mountainous terrain around Ironforge and the surrounding lands, is intelligent and belligerent due to the Goat heritage, is inclined to stay with the ‘herd’ and follow the dominant members, due to the Sheep heritage, and can be milked for cheese and milk, sheared for wool, and butchered for some meat, hide and horn, something that features quite prominently in Dwarven armor and weapons, the curling horns of their mounts.
Now, Goat/Sheep milk is unusual tasting and tends to be quite strong. It is also not useful for feeding infants due to the lack of certain vitamins and minerals, but goat milk in particular can be drunk straight out of the goat because of the way the fat in the milk exists, meaning it does not need to be homogenized like cow and sheep milk needs to be. Sheep milk in particular tends to affect the lactose intolerant even more harshly than cow milk does, but it does make some very strong-tasting cheeses and yoghurts.
Also, uncastrated males of both Sheep and Goat variety tend to smell, the Goats especially, and this will affect the taste and texture of the meat. Uncastrated males of both species (and presumably the Geeps as well!) tend to be very combative and aggressive, constantly seeking to become the dominant individual in a herd to attain mating rights with the ewes. It’s quite likely that most of the Riding Rams, or at least those of male origin, were castrated at the start of puberty to keep them docile, and to prevent the enemies of Ironforge from smelling you coming from a hundred meters away.
And I’m not joking about the last one. The only thing that smells worse than the outside of a unaltered male goat is the insides of an unaltered male goat. And even with years of love and affection, a dominant ram will still headbutt and bite the handlers, especially when in a rut or around ewes going into estrus. Even castrated rams will do this, though much less aggressively.
So we can assume, through centuries of breeding and handling, the Dwarves managed to breed the more unwanted qualities out of their Geeps, specifically the aggression towards themselves and, naturally, making bigger, stronger and more tolerant to cold, disease and infection, like we’ve done with most livestock and mounts today. Likely this also means the male Geeps do not need to be castrated or otherwise ‘altered’, since the natural aggressive tendencies, now tempered, make for a superior war-mount, and the impact of a Geep the size of a horse and bred to carry the weight and mass of an adult, fully-armored Dwarf would mean a charge ending with their headbutt could dent plate-armor, and their horns could easily crack bone or pierce vital organs, let alone being trampled under their hooves.
But what are the other uses of a Geep?
Both lambs and kids are affectionate, inquisitive and playful. This leads to a good bond between Dwarven children and their potential future mount, and the herding instinct will also help the animal ‘imprint’ on Dwarves as part of the ‘Herd’, and the dominant members of said Herd. Goats in particular are noted for being hypoallergenic, meaning they’re far less likely to cause an allergy than a dog, cat or similar traditional pet.
I touched on the milk before, but goat milk is especially useful for people who may have allergies, but are not lactose intolerant, to cow milk. Cheese making is far easier with sheep and goat milk than cow milk. Waste wise, goats and sheep tend to be far cleaner than cattle in that their dung tends to come in pellet rather than big sloppy mess, and they’re also possible to house train, at least goats are, while sheep tend to go in any area, although will often try to mess in the same area as the rest of their herd to prevent harming their grazing opportunities, while cows will just … go whenever and however they want.
So, these giant hybrids are intelligent, stubborn, affectionate and useful for multiple purposes, being providing fibre for clothing, milk and meat for food, horn and hide for weapons, tools and armor, and steady, loyal mounts uniquely adapted to the ‘home’ of the Ironforge Dwarves. They’re also, due to their hybrid backgrounds, able to live comfortably in most climates, although extreme heat would be their nemesis given their thick, shaggy coats and like their goat and sheep ancestors, can eat grass, roots, vines, berries and most forms of weed with little complaint, although a riding mount would probably benefit from a diet of mashed and steamed grains as well as normal ground-level fodder to have the energy and the stamina to carry a Dwarf in armor, or even just panniers full of tools, equipment and supplies.
I hope this has been as fun to read as it was to bang out.
I’ll try to tackle the Pandaren and their riding turtles next.