As title says create your own patch notes for upcoming patches. Try to be as creative as you can or as serious as you can. This is a fun thread to see how far we can push the boundaries of epic fail.
I’ll start.
Patch 8.3.5:
World
- Boralus and Dazar’alor have now been moved to the zone of Farahlon.
- Players will now receive a free ilvl 475 piece of armor if their lag is greater than 1500ms.
Nya’lotha the Waking City:
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Corruption now has a chance to randomly appear on your items which are not corrupted while in Nya’Lotha. We felt people were complaining too much and decided to give them what they wanted.
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Corrupted items now have a chance to be randomly cleansed while under the effects of any healing ability cast by players. Wrathion will randomly appear and tell you a joke and has a chance to heal you for 5% of your health.
We hope you continue to enjoy your adventures in Azeroth!
WoW Forums:
Freedom of Speech has been buffed. You can no longer report posts simply because they hurt your feelings.
2 Likes
Hopefully this buff includes teaching players what freedom of speech actually means.
1 Like
patch 9.0 vulpera can now be paladins
the paladinfanbase starts a riot and burns down the blizzard building nearest them
Players were sometimes losing to shaman, shaman can now have a max of 5 hp.
1 Like
Simulation Update 2.2.0
We have decided to buff the intelligence of those who don’t actually know what the laws of their country entail, so they will better understand the freedoms they actually have, and also realize their freedoms are not legally required to be recognized by corporations online.
Really just a list of quality of life stuff I wish they’d stop being lazy and do…
Patch 9.0:
Customization
- Nightborne have been overhauled to appear like their original model.
- Lightforged Draenei now have a unique paladin mount
- Kul Tirans now have a thin human customization (and one has been created for females)
- Mechagnomes can now mog their legs, arms, and boots. The overall armor will still be hidden, but the additional parts will now attach to the mechagnomes’ prosthetic limbs.
- Allied Race customization has been expanded considerably
– All Death Knights have their traditional 3 skins and hair colors
– Several new, fitting customizations were created
– Several parent race customizations that fit allied races were added to them
Armor
- After several months studying what it looks like, our designers are now capable of making good looking mail armor.
- Belts have been fixed to no longer arbitrarily cut off tabards. This is now a customization option found at your local transmogger.
– This became necessary after our designers became laser-focused on disabling tabards on literally every belt in existence, regardless of whether it was necessary
- After a long time studying the plight of tauren and worgen, we have slightly repositioned helmets to appear at a better angle on the model. This had wondrous effects on appearance.
– Additionally, all helmets have been remodeled where necessary
Sound
- Legionfall NPCs on the Broken Shore have been fixed to have their respective voice lines
- New Allied Race NPCs no longer use their parent races’ voice lines in combat
- Vulpera music has been removed from Orgrimmar’s track list.
- Stormwind has been updated to now have the tracks that play at Lion’s Landing.
Animations
- Ranged combat ready animations are no longer stiff and have animated feet movement when turning.
- Caster combat ready animations have been redesigned for each race, so as to look less silly
- Orc upright animation is less stiff and now also modifies attack animations.
– Your upright orc warrior will no longer hunch over to use his axe
– Your upright orc caster will no longer hunch over to throw fireballs
- Undead have received an upright animation
Classes
- Druids have been restored to their MoP state, and can now use all of their forms regardless of spec.
- Warriors’ Gladiator Stance has been returned.
- Fury Warriors can now mog 1-handed weapons on their 2-handed weapons.
- Warriors and other characters that were once capable of using ranged weapons have now received a DPS spec that can use them once again.
- Survival is no longer forced to use 2-handed weapons, and is now capable of dual-wielding viably like certain prominent characters (ie: Rexxar)
- Healers no longer hit like wet noodles while soloing overworld content
- Warlock’s Metamorphosis has been restored to its original place of glory in the Demonology spec