Chefs of Azeroth. What is your Gnome recipe?

Community General Discussion
1

I don’t partake in the cooking of Gnomes. They are friends, not food. But most of you seem to eat them.

So how do you do it? Do you plop them in a big pot and make a stew? Do you fry them? What is your gnome recipe?

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2

First you need to chill them. The lower the temperature the better without letting them die outright. That way when you quarter them they won’t die immediately. The cold will slow blood loss and prevent shock. Then you can slow sear them with a nice lemon garlic rub, and make sure to baste it in the juices while letting the fat run off.

You want the outside just short of charred so the inside is tender and juicy.

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3

I find that if you impale them, bread them, and deep fry them, you’ll have a delicious gnomedog.

4

Usually stuffed demonic eradar with some radiating felcakes and of course lets not forget the beating demon hearts. All can be found prepared at my personal restaurant Lillian’s Cov. PS: Yes. I know. I am a little crazy… it is inevitable for anyone dealing with fel magics.:roll_eyes:

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5

I hand the Gnome butter, flour, water, eggs, salt, yeast, and sugar.

I leave them alone for a few hours.

When I come back, the Gnome is gone, but I have cookies.

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6

Well first I have to kill them. Then I proceed to use my ultimate chef technique!
Cannibalize.

The recipe works on pretty much any humanoid.

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7

I should not say this but we mix extra strength laxative for fun into your cookies. It is fun to watch humans battle for the loo.

8

Gnomes are far too fatty.

It’s all empty calories.

9

Joke’s on you, I haven’t actually eaten anything since my last raid, which was in Wrath.

So far I’ve been able to out-heal the starvation damage with flash of light.

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10

I’ve posted so many Gnome recipes on GD forum, I could release a Gnome Cookbook (Blizzard, call me).

And not just dorm room staples (Gnome, two pieces of bread, Gnome sammich) I’m talking high end cuisine – Gnome Confit, Crepe Suzette (ask Gnome forum poster named Crepe about that one), 5 Alarm Gnome Chili.

Heck, I’ve eaten so many Gnomes in my day, I have to make monthly visits to the Troll voodoo priest for a lower your cholesterol hex. Gnomes are high in cholesterol, probably the chubby little cheeks.

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11

Cheat day?

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12

Ewww. Eating gnome is for the Peasants.

13

Have you tried our brownies yet… no need to heal any longer. Antidiarrheals the new addition. No need for paper tissue. May cause cramping.

14

Too boney and stringy for my tastes… but their skulls make great ice-cream bowls.

15

That’s a very specific gnome. I tried that with just some random gnome and came home to find my things had been stolen.

It was inconveniant.

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16

Fillet the skin off, then rotisserie style.

17

Sous-vide is definitely the best approach, but the Void Elves joined the Alliance, so it’s a bit awkward.

18

Don’t know why gnomes choose to stay in Ironforge when they’re living rent free in every other races mind.

19

This is how I cooked my gnome last night… man it was good.

Cooked Gnome
Cooked Gnome720×960

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20

Step 1. Find the perfect Gnome! My personal favorites are the pink haired ones because they have a hint of Cotton candy flavor to them.

Step 2. Find a nice rotting animal carcass. I prefer dead skunks over all other dead animals.

Step 3. Roll the Gnome around in the dead animal carcass for a good 5 minutes.

Step 4. Enjoy your delicious Road kill flavored Gnome! :yum:

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