Can't seem to line up quests with my wife

OK so we are working on unlocking the nightborn allied race in Legion. We are both level 50.
I started a questline with Thalyssra where she was up top in the cave, Shalaran or something. My wife saw her at the bottom, so we were in different phases. We are trying to get to the first Insurrection part, Lockdown. Right now I am at the quest Breaking the Seal in that quest line. My wife and I are both trying to get the nightborn unlocked, and according to everything we’ve read we have to do this prerequisite questline. She has yet to give me the option to do Lockdown. I am finally at the part where Thalyssra is at the bottom, and I fed Theryn 300 mana shards, which I believe is Arcane Communion. We have scoured wowhead, and the quest Arcane Communion for her comes back for her as false for completed (wowhead has a command line you can Run in WoW chat that determines quests you have or have not completed.) The quest before Arcane Communion for her comes back true, which tells us Arcane Communion should be the next quest she has to complete. She does not have the quest Arcane Communion in her log, and yet there is no option to get this quest for her from Thalyssra.

Another thing, she has the option to feed Theryn, Thalyssra, and the other NPC down there and get buffs. Where I am at in the questline, I don’t have that option to feed them at all. I ahve to complete Breaking the Seal. It’s acting like she is farther than me in the questline but the results of the command run come back false for Arcane Communion and the quest after that. True for the quest before Arcane Communion.

My wife says she fed Theryn the 300 shards for Arcane Communion but didn’t get a completion. She also abandoned the quest some time ago because of this. But now she does not have the option to pick it up from Thalyssra.

EDIT: Also, my wife just showed me, she has 2 portals unlocked in Shalaran. Yet I am farther than her (supposedly according to the quest check commands) and I do not have 2 portals. She has the ruins, and the moonguard stronghold.

Before you can start any of the Inssurection quests, you’ll need to complete the Good Suramaritain achievement. (So, both of you have a whole lot of questing left for Good Suramaritain.)

Until you’ve completed Good Suramaritain, the NPCs will be at risk of withering, which basically means that you have to keep them fed with ancient mana or you won’t be able to see some of their quests. So, it’s likely that your wife needs to feed the NPCs to re-pick up the quest. Feeding them lasts 24 hours, and the initial parts of the questlines will “feed” them, so might be why you don’t have the option at the moment.

As for the portals, while some of them are unlocked as part of the questline, most are unlocked by activating them once you’ve found them (and usually giving them some ancient mana.) So, it just means that your wife did some exploring at some point and activated an extra one.