Being a Horde Pandaren

Let me tell you a story of what its like being a Pandaren in the Horde!

Ji Firepaw: “Here we are! Orgrimmar!.. Look at all those spikes and mudhuts!”

Horde Panda: “Yeah… lets go see the Warchief now.”

Garrosh: “Sup, Warchief Garrosh here. You two are here because you want to join the cool faction, correct?”

Ji Firepaw: “Umm… yeah.”

Garrosh: “Ok then. Here’s your Orgrimmar reputation, and a few silver. Now go make the Horde proud and collect some bear asses”

Ji Firepaw: “Cool! we’re part of the Horde now!”

Horde Panda: “Yeah! I’m gonna go do some quests, what about you?”

Ji Firepaw: “I’m gonna sit here and never be a part of the story in this game ever again!”

Horde Panda: “Ok then. I’m gonna go quest in Silverpine Forest, seeya!”

The Horde Pandaren continued their adventure and made their way to the forests of Silverpine

Sylvanas: “Welcome to Silverpine. Do me a favor and go kill the humans over there on that island and bring their corpses to me.”

Horde Panda: “Umm… why should I do that? Those humans don’t seem to be bothering anyone.”

Sylvanas: “Because if you do then ill give you 37 silver and two whole bars of experiance.”

Horde Panda: “Ok, I guess I can do that!”

5 minutes of human slaughter later

Horde Panda: “Here you go! I killed all the humans just like you asked!”

Sylvanas: “Excellent! Watch this, I’m gonna call the Warchief and show him my cool necromancy!”

Garrosh arrives through a magical portal because he is too poor to buy a flying mount

Sylvanas: “Sup Garry! Watch what I can do!” Sylvanas raises the dead humans into Forsaken

Garrosh: “Oh my gosh. Sylvanas you little B!tch! that crap is disgusting! Ugh, I’m leaving before it starts to stink in here!”

Sylvanas: “That was cool right?”

Horde Panda: “Umm… yeah. I think I’m gonna go quest somewhere else now.”

The Pandaren journeys back west and eventually finds themselves in the Undercity

Horde Panda: “Maybe I can find some quests in here.”

Sylvanas: “Whatsup! Warchief Sylvanas here! what do you want?”

Horde Panda: “Warchief? what happened to that Garry guy?”

Sylvanas: “Garrosh? Oh, well, he kinda started being a huge @sshole so the Horde and the lame faction decided to team up and beat his @ss. Then afterwards some Troll became Warchief for like 5 seconds and then died to random NPC number 974523861 And then next thing you know, I’m Warchief for some reason!”

The young Pandaren stands confused

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You’re the thinnest Panda I’ve ever seen.

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Sorry, let me put on my weight. This better?

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I see no problem with culling the human herd.

Seems perfectly reasonable and probably very necessary to avoid problems with over population and all that.

Doing them a service.

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can i grab you and hug you?

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This is actually an issue from pretty much any new player experience, especially for the Horde. You may be in the Undercity and see Sylvanas is Warchief. Cool, she’s pretty awesome. Quest a bit and suddenly some dude named Garrosh shows up and is all like “I’m the Warchief”. So you stand there confused.

Go to Northrend, happen to go to Argent Tournament. See Thrall get referred to as Warchief. Get more confused.

Get to Mists. Garrosh is called Warchief again. We kill him. A troll is now Warchief.

See Troll be Warchief in your Draenor Garrison. Do Legion pre-quest and he dies.

Sylvanas becomes Warchief. Which you already knew.

That was quite the roundabout trip wasn’t it?!

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Why yes, yes you can!

/hug

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Lol exactly!

I could have made this story a lot longer.

They should really just phase out the Warchiefs until you have done the right quests. It wouldn’t be so confusing then for new players lol.

yay /hug

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This is quite the bear hug going on here!

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You’re the best Gnome I’ve ever met.

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Agreed. Kill all the humans and then maybe all the other races in the Alliance can finally be in the story!

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kill the elves too. not all but at least 95% of them. i need to keep some for…science

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casts Spectral Sight I see what you did there.

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10/10

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How about…

“Durrr I’m a Horde Panda that decided to join this faction because I used explosives on a turtle or something. Then I find out my Warchief murdered and enslaved my people plus he brought back the sha. FOR THE HORDE!”

I like pandas, I have two of them, but they should have been an Alliance only race.

Ji Firepaw is sitting chilling in the rigging on my ship in Dazar’Alor.

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This is really offensive…

I joined because of my insatiable bloodlust and need to murderstab

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I find these concepts really difficult to marry with that :3 cuteface thing you got going on. I’m so confused…

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The face is to lure witless fools in so I can murderstab them better.

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