April Fools Patch notes incoming!

I can’t wait to see what side-splittingly original content Blizz comes up with this year!

whine

Why can’t they go back to doing things like the Wisp playable class or the Starcraft “Level up as you dine” restaurant :frowning:

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I am excited for them they gave me a hot giggle last year

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What, you mean how the entirety of notes were a dig at the player base?

Last years April Fools patch notes didn’t do class changes, and I missed that. It’s my favorite part. It kind of makes me feel better about my class choice, like I’m in on the joke opposed to being the joke.

I hope they do the actual class patch notes this year. It’s all in good fun, if you can’t be a good sport about it and laugh about it then I pity you.

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i hope one day they hotfix in some april fools jokes instead of just patch notes some intern will ask chatgpt to create

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Think of it as not a dig at you but at everyone, it is like in comedy clubs they do not really have anything against you personally but they make fun of life

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Oh, I don’t mind a roast, as long as it’s Jimmy Carr level.

Not some ChatGPT written notes as another poster stated above.

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World of Warcraft - Patch 10.3.1 “April Fools’ Extravaganza”

General Updates

  • Added a new difficulty mode: “Mythic+++”. Keys now go beyond +50, and your screen progressively darkens until you’re playing in complete darkness.
  • All mounts now have a stamina bar. If they run out of stamina, they will lie down and refuse to move until you feed them a hearty meal.
  • New Affix: “Surprise Mechanics” – At random intervals, bosses will teleport you to a different dungeon. Find your way back before your party kicks you.
  • All NPCs now have a chance to whisper, “You are the chosen one.” However, we cannot clarify what you were chosen for.
  • Gnomes have been reclassified as a consumable item for Tauren.
  • Pandaren now have a 0.1% chance to instantly win a dungeon if they say “Pandaren Strats” in chat.

Class Changes

Warrior

  • “Charge” now has a 1% chance to miss, sending you flying off the nearest cliff.
  • If you execute someone too hard, their loot is destroyed upon death.

Mage

  • Fire Mages now generate so much heat that nearby players will take 5% damage per second just by standing too close.
  • Blizzard (the spell) now summons an actual employee from Blizzard to critique your DPS.

Rogue

  • Stealth now requires holding your breath in real life. A new setting in the game client will monitor this.
  • Using “Pick Pocket” on an NPC now has a 0.1% chance to alert the guards and teleport you to actual jail.

Hunter

  • You can now tame Raid Bosses… but they still one-shot you every few minutes.
  • Pets can now whisper you with unsolicited life advice.

Paladin

  • Bubble Hearthstone has been removed due to being “too fun.”
  • Divine Shield now causes all enemies in a 100-yard radius to attack your healer instead.

Death Knight

  • A new hidden passive, “Edgy as Hell,” has been added. If you wear full black transmog, you gain +5% damage and -20% social interaction.
  • Your Death Grip will now sometimes pull the entire zone’s enemies instead of just one.

Druid

  • New Form Added: “Office Worker Form” – Sit at a desk, fill out TPS reports, and occasionally cry.
  • Moonkin Form now automatically plays lo-fi beats in the background for enhanced relaxation.

Shaman

  • Every cast of Chain Lightning has a 1% chance to accidentally turn off someone’s Wi-Fi.
  • If you cast Bloodlust at exactly 12:00 AM server time, every player in the raid receives a free pizza.

Demon Hunter

  • Eye Beam now causes actual retinal damage if cast too often.
  • Fel Rush will now always send you off a cliff, no matter what.

Warlock

  • Summoning a demon now requires negotiating a contract with it. Some demons may demand snacks.
  • If you die, your soul remains in the world and has to find its own way back to your body.

PvP Updates

  • If you camp someone in Warmode for more than 10 kills, their character will email Blizzard support with a formal complaint about you.
  • New “Uno Reverse Card” ability added – If used in PvP, the next attack on you is redirected to the attacker’s main character in a different zone.

Professions

  • Herbalists now have to water their plants daily, or they will wither and die.
  • Engineering now has a new “Tesla Mode” where all inventions spontaneously explode with no warning.
  • Fishing has been revamped! You must now manually reel in fish with a series of Quick Time Events. Failing results in the fish dragging you into the ocean.

Miscellaneous

  • All mailboxes are now sentient and may refuse to deliver your mail if they don’t like you.
  • A new secret “Cow Level” has been added, but no one knows how to find it.
  • If you name your character “Legolas” or “Gandalf,” you will be automatically turned into a Level 1 Murloc.
  • Goblin Zeppelin travel now includes in-flight movies. Unfortunately, they are all 14-hour lore deep dives narrated by Bwonsamdi.
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I mean I have no sense of humor so who am I to judge it, I did like them though. I also like the chatGPT posted above, especially the fel rush always going off cliffs

See, now this is actually pretty funny. And no reference to recently released Disney movies.

This made me laugh. Reminds me of the joke years ago where Barrage now pulled mobs from other dungeons and dimensions.

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It’s been a while since they released Molten Core for Atari 2600, I think it’s high time they port MC to NES. Better graphics and up to 4 players with NES Satellite or Four Score adapter.

EDIT: I also remember when they teased an undead bard and had an animation of skeleton playing an instrument. I still have the SWF file of the bard but it can only be played on older computer as Flash was banned from modern OS.

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Go back from what? April 1 is tomorrow. Are we now complaining about thing that are yet to happen and may never happen?

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Blizzard’s April 1st patch notes: “We’ve found a way to eliminate DDOS”

Too soon?

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Some of those April fools notes become real. Like the elusive pandas we can play as.

The April Fools patch notes suck now. They spiciest they get is Dad joke puns, because anything spicier is simply too taboo for modern audiences.

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New playable class: Peon (or whatever is appropriate to each playable race). The ultimate group augmentation class. We’re not sure if they can play solo, players will figure this out for Blizzard.

Can only communicate with Zug Zug or Ready to Work.

All equipment slots except Chest, Waist, Bracer, and Main Hand Weapon are greyed out and unavailable.
Chest slot must be filled with a brown leather vest.
Weapon slot must be filled with an oversized 1H wood axe, construction hammer, or mining pick. Transmog is not available to Peon classes.

Class Abilities:

Build Defenses: Construct a defensive structure for ranged players to stand behind that absorbs 1 damage for every second spent building it. Every five seconds players must reposition themselves behind the barrier as it slowly collapses or lose line of sight to all targets.

Lazy Peon: The character will randomly walk to the nearest grass patch, or in the middle of the floor if no grass is available, and lie down to take a nap. Group members must use the Peon Motivator, or similar equipment, for the player to regain control of their character.

Singular Focus: Peon’s deal 1,000,000% increased damage to any target classified as a tree, wall, or mine. Developer Note: we need to go through every dungeon and raid to see if any bosses actually meet this criteria. It may be too strong.

Support Group: Peon’s will undertake any request another member of the group commands no matter how much they do not want to. Completing these tasks will improve group morale as they progress with only four contributing members.

Do they still do this? Maybe I just never pay attention. I don’t think I have seen a WoW April Fools joke since like…Warlords of Draenor. And that’s just a guess because the only WoW April Fools joke I remember is the Bard post from like…Wrath of the Lich King.

Ya that cracked me up.

I am referring to the fact that back in 2005 or 2006 (around then) they did an April Fools joke based on the Wisp being a playable character. Further, its racial trait was being able to explode.

There were whole pages dedicated to it. Thats how much effort they used to put in the April Fools jokes.

The Winds of Winter DK talent is still one of the better notes I’ve seen.