Rixlee Copperblast combed his hair back, nodding along to the gnome in white. He wasn’t saying anything new to the Goblin. Just your usual ‘you are not to operate any volatile equipment while on the premises’ spiel. Rixlee Copperblast was not an idiot. Nor was he someone with such a poor opinion of architecture, that he’d risk a blast strong enough to level the building he was in.
Besides, he’d seen that video recorder. He still hadn’t pulled it apart to see what made it tick, and it’s hard to make sense of anything that’s been blasted to bits. “Of course, doc. I promise, I ain’t carrying anything explosive on my person. You can check! I’m clean as a whistle. All I’ve got is my cane, left my wrench at home today.” He assured. The gnome stared, but eventually acquiesced. Then came the part where the gnome expected talk of compensation.
The talk never happened. Instead, the interviewer, an admittedly somewhat fetching gnome woman, entered, did up her hair, and immediately and professionally stamped out any signs of her disgust at interviewing a goblin. Rixlee took his own seat.
The questioner motions the camera operator over to get a better shot, holding a white sheet of paper over you until the camera operator give a thumbs up. Moving it away, the interviewer sits down in a chair across from yours. They take a few moments to compose themselves, before addressing you.
“First things first, please state your Name and age for all of the people at home that may see this.”
“Rixlee Copperblast! It’s my genuine pleasure to make your acquaintance! I’m about forty-eight, though I’m due in a couple months to turn forty-nine.”
“What’s your occupation, or line of work? How do you live your day to day life?”
“Well, I used to have a company by the name of Copperblast Construction Co. After a certain incident with Horde authorities, the company was dissolved. I’ll go into detail some other time, but suffice it to say, we stumbled onto something… complicated.”
“Where do you live, or are you someone who travels a lot?”
“I tend to bounce from place to place, moreso now that my main office in Orgrimmar was demolished. If I had to call anyplace home, though, I got this nice little cottage up in Winterspring. Big and grandiose is fine, but there’s just something about how cozy a nice, small home is. Just can’t get that kinda homey feeling from a big old mansion.”
“Who do you live/travel with? Are you by yourself, or do you have family, friends, or any animal companions?”
“I meet up with my old employees sometimes. I worry about Io-- Krizzam Mechabomb, sometimes. Ever since Sylvanas cost him his job, he’s been gettin’ kinda… creepy. Like, not stalker-creepy, potential-homicide-creepy. I’unno man… some of us got hit harder than others when the company dissolved, but Krizzam…? Hoo boy, he had trust issues before we got dismantled. I don’t even want to think about how messed up he is now.”
“Do you enjoy living/traveling with them?”
“Yeah. I don’t get all nosey on their private lives or anything, but they’re good employees, and I appreciate how they all give it their best on every job. Heck, I’d adopt them all, if it weren’t for the fact that they already have legal guardians.” He snickers.
“What factions do you align yourself with, if any?”
“Used to be, I had some measure of obligation to the Horde, what with them bein’ my landlords and all. Even then, though, I worked for anyone who’d pay. I was-- am, a member of the Braves of Azeroth. I’m proud to carry that title. As a Brave, I may do jobs for the Horde or Alliance, but my first allegiance will always be to Azeroth.”
“Who do you love in life? Where did you meet?”
“Oof, can’t lie, been in a few flings, but haven’t found anything serious yet. You know goblins, it ain’t the man they’re after, it’s the purse the man’s attached to.” Rixlee chuckles, giving a shrug.
“What sort of strange food combinations do you really enjoy to eat?”
“Right, so, in Dalaran, there used to be this amazing diner. It was there for like a week, before they closed it down due to a lack of profits. They had this sandwich made of a single, huge piece of flatbread, and they’d stuff it with lamb meat, this stuff they called hummus, and all sorts of other stuff. Krizzam really only wanted the lamb meat, but I tell you, shutting that place down should’ve been a criminal offense!”
“What sort of hobbies do you enjoy doing in your past-time.”
“So, most goblins, when they build, they build to destroy. I’m kind of a weird one. I don’t make bombs, though I certainly see and share the appeal, I like to build things that last. Fortresses, towns, homes, stuff like that. One of my favorite hobbies is to draft impossible feats of engineering… a city in the sky, for example. So, you know… Dalaran. Only designed to be floating several hundred feet in the sky. But yeah, when I get home, I like to put all those fantastic ideas to draft paper.”
“Any sort of tips or tricks you want to share to people out there who may be interested in doing that themselves?”
“I mean, I’m no teacher, but, sure, I guess I can try to give a few pointers. So, when you’re making a draft, it’s important to have a clear picture in your head of what you want to make. It’s a very detail-oriented process, and it helps to make some notations off to the side. But most important is to be patient. A draft isn’t a doodle, you won’t be making it in the space of a minute, heck, I’ve had enough wrist cramps to tell you that sometimes you’ll be at it for hours. But if it’s somethin’ you love, it’s worth the work.”
“What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?”
“Oof, honey, I am the wrong guy to ask. I’m not really a pets kinda guy. The last one I had went belly-up because I forgot all about it while I was at work. Tell you what though, those gnome mechanostriders would be real adorable downsized.”
“What story do you enjoy hearing over and over, never getting tired of it?”
“I’unno… I’ll tell ya when I find a story that doesn’t get old to me eventually.”
“When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great?”
“A while back, there was a big battle in the Plaguelands. We got called on over to Mender’s Stead to help the Argent Crusade fend off some crazed Scarlets. For a few days, Mender’s Stead was Mender’s Hold. Boy, let me tell you, that was crazy. But… at the end of the day, nearly everyone made it home in one piece. I was a little disappointed when they asked me to tear the fort down, but, them’s the breaks.”
“What would a world populated by clones of you be like? “
“A whole lot would get dreamed up, not much would get done. I’m the man with the plan, not the one who makes it happen.”
“Tell Me, What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen or experienced?”
“You haven’t looked madness in the eyes until you’ve been shot out of a cannon at someone. The only upside is that the guy had it coming.”
“What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought on a whim?”
“A gyroscopic astrolabe. I don’t even sail, and I still wanted to buy it, just for the novelty of seeing people stare at it when they enter my office.”
“What’s the worst hairstyle you’ve ever had? “
“I don’t know what possessed me, but I had a topknot for a month when I was fifteen.”
“If you were gifted a massive plot of land, say 500 acres, what would you want to build on it?”
“I’d build a fortress city to rival Orgrimmar, and then I’d rub it in that smug bastard Gazlowe’s face! Hah, in your face, Gazlowe! Rixlee Copperblast reigns supreme in the field of goblin construction!”
“Do You Have any interesting adventures or exploits to share?”
“After the whole Legion fiasco, me and my company were commissioned to salvage a downed Horde ship. Honest job, and frankly, there was nothing outstanding about the job itself. No, it’s how the Warchief and her cronies reacted. We got our hands on some documents. Nobody read them or anything, but not even a day later, we’ve got Deathguards in our office, telling us to pack our stuff and go, because Copperblast Construction is officially defunct. I was about to file a complaint when they started drawing swords, and one of them yanked the documents out from our secure storage. After that, well… we all had to go freelance.”
“What Race of people outside of your own do you feel is the strangest, or hardest to get to know?”
“Forsaken. I’m sorry, but I just get so sick of their constant whining and two-faced behavior. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, a goblin is calling someone two-faced. Boo-hoo, your arm is falling off and the living hate you. News flash, you can do something about one of those things, and I ain’t talkin’ about the arm. Launching a horrible supervirus that melts people from the inside out don’t exactly win hearts and minds.”
“Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up? “
“Working for free.” Pause. “Oh, I see that look you got on your face, but I ain’t jokin’. I’d wind up so doped up on the happy feelings of a job well done, I’d just walk on out and forget to collect my pay. Got so bad for a while that Gamma, that sweet girl, ended up pulling double duty as my accountant.”
“All right, What’s your favorite childhood memory?”
“So, back before the orcs waltzed in, my old man took me to Ironforge on a business trip. He let me go wander around the city, and I stumbled right into this one dwarf woman. Sweetest thing, she didn’t stare at me like all the other dwarves… well, she did stare, it just didn’t have any hate to it. While my old man was negotiating a deal, I was playing with this dwarf lady, building snowcastles and running around and being a little ball of energy. Still, that was the day I learned I was a builder, not a sapper.”
“Flipping that around, What’s your worst childhood memory that you’re comfortable sharing with us?”
“Ma and pa weren’t exactly… friendly with each other, if you catch my drift…” He scratched the back of his neck.
“Who have you lost that’s been close to you?”
“I’m one of those lucky guys who really hasn’t lost anyone important yet… still, I’ve seen some good folk leave this world… all I can say is that I hope whatever’s on the other side is better.”
“How do you feel about the state of the world today? Any grievances or complaints you want to get off your chest?”
“Honestly? The world’s in a pretty rough place… but we’ll manage. We Azerothians tend to be really stubborn when it counts. Though, there’s one thing that ain’t in question: Sylvanas needs to go… permanently.”
“What is your biggest regret in life?”
“Not gettin’ ma to leave sooner. Sure, she’s alive, and getting better… but it’s been a long time since she’s smiled, at all.”
“Where’s your ‘happy place’? Is there anywhere or any state of mind you like to go to when you want to enjoy yourself?”
“Well, when I got time to myself and nothin’ that needs doin’, I like to head back to my place in Winterspring, brew up a cup of hot chocolate, bundle up, and just nap by the fireplace.”
“And Finally, Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents?”
“I don’t think it’ll be that different, honestly. Maybe a little better, but still a lot of the same.”