Letter To Myself, in 20 Years

The end is approaching.

How long can professional wrestlers perform in the ring until they decide it’s time to hang up their boots? We will get to this answer shortly.

Summer of 1999: 20 APM. Where it all began. My dad introduces me to computer gaming with the Brood War Expansion Set. This battle chest was a surprise to a new upcoming guest. Mesmerized by the graphics, I thoroughly enjoyed playing through the very first Terran campaign where Samir Duran introduces himself in the snow terrain.

Winter of 2001: 45 APM. Two years pass by and I am relying heavily on these single player cheat codes. From showing the money to modifying the phase variance, I had to breathe deep because what’s mine is mine in the gathering. Power overwhelming. The command center sure is burning but won’t be exploding.

Fall of 2006: 70 APM I joined my first clan and I fall in love with a girl named DBZGT-Bulma on the US East server. I do my best to impress her by entering the inaugural clan tournament: DBZ Budokai. 14 year old me should’ve known better to practice a few games before signing up for failure. Truthfully, I got eliminated in the first round by another clanmate who went by the name of DBZGT-Algee. He ended up dating DBZGT-Bulma, and soon, they were both nowhere to be found. I stayed in Clan GTX loyally for another 6 years without the love of my life. I vowed from then on I will give DBZGT-Algee a taste of his own medicine.

Winter of 2012: 130 APM From spam bots to trivia bots, these bots are like iRobot as they greet each human being to the channel. I found that quite annoying as the days progressed. I switched up clans ever since GTX slowly digressed to death. I developed some micro sense as a vulture took on all four zerglings. Whoa who would’ve known that you can save money when you control your army?

Spring of 2018: 175 APM All I wanted was to have DBZGT-Bulma back in my life. I trained vigorously and practiced many games just to show her how much I improved and changed. I wanted to tell her that I’m no longer that kid who got his butt kicked in the first round. On second thought, Algee is a prick for hiding her from the rest of the world. I used this rage to fuel the flame within me as I began to grow old age…

Fall of 2023: 230 APM Former clanmates and old friends are gone forever. The only feeling that grows deeper is bitter. As I finally understand it all. Blizzard Entertainment, it does get more cold the more you learn the ropes. The igloo is built by an eskimo whose heart froze. As I move my four starter probes. I hope to snowball over the pitfall. This is present me in the present tense presenting the facts. Bulma ain’t coming back and I had to live with that. Another day and I continue to play the role of an advocate. Some days I wish I can unlearn everything and go back to the kid unwrapping that Brood War Expansion set. Just so I can stop that because now I’m trapped. I know I can never get my life back as I continue to figure out this crap. Only to find out from a friend of a friend that Bulma and Algee are married now and have two kids.

So now to answer the question: How long can professional wrestlers perform in the ring until they decide it’s time to hang up their boots?

When their backs are laying flat on the mat for over 10 secs.

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2050: We dont have Seasons anymore. I am alone, the memory of Bulma seems far and unreal. The real World has taken me out of my dream world, a video game. The last remains of my family are either no more or are distant and dont want to do anything with me.

What did i do wrong? Was i to smart to know that there is no hope in this world. That it is all a big lie, a big control festival where you either play the game or get played. Or to stupid and weak not to play the game and be with an other one.

IAM COLD, ALOne and Sad. I can not offer this world anything, i can not communicate, i can not speak, i can not fight, i can not be smart or play the game. I can only be myself, think slowly, fail again and again.

Why did I invest so much into THIS blinded by the success of a Scene? To be on the TV, to get the heart of someone i barely knew, to own this person to show myself i was not powerless?

To beat my opponent? Some clown that took from me what never belonged to me a image of some woman with desires created by my own twisted mind, put on top of a person with their own personality that could not be more different, than what i had constructed in my imagination.

Iam cold, planet Earth seems to be changing a lot, iam alone and barely can play this game anymore. Just lets try one more time
(https://youtu.be/plme_oDCpHc?t=19)

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I’ll be damned if I keep flirting with this thread. I wrote a letter to myself, but will I ever have the time to ever read it too?

The kid who used to play this game for fun, ends up getting sucked into it like it was a wormhole. Alice in Wonderland or Peter Pan in Neverland, never had this kind of wonder man.

Give me back my life and take back this game in regards from my own mom who regrets buying this cursed gift for her own son when he barely turned 10.

DBZGT-Bulma and DBZGT-Algee lived happily forever after with their fairytale dreams coming true while I suffocate under pressure like yes sir I got on a compressed T-shirt just to measure the surface area of this platonic shift.

These forum guidelines got me dodging lasers just to avoid the censorship. Brand new username for a brand newcomer. Nothing new for this lonesome dreamer. I keep bumping this thread until the government steps in with an AK-47 weapon.

Blizzard reps, tell me what’s the difference between a school shooter and an obsessed StarCraft player? There will be no ends until the mission objective is completed and all the resources have been depleted.

You took away the love of my life and gave her to my worst enemy. Only for me to stay stuck in the bottom of The Void like the submerged Titanic.

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Free player456! Player456 is a saint! Saint player456!