Most of your questions can be answered with the words “timing” and “counter” or “map control”.
So for example hellions do extra damage vs. late so you can pressure the zerg and force either queens (instead of drones) and even lings (high larva cost; slows down drone production; can be kited well by hellions) or roaches (very costly before 2 base or 3 base saturation, cost gas so slows down the zerg eco a lot if produced early).
Then hellions can get the blue-flame upgrade to make runbys more efficient (upgrade takes so time so if you hit a timing window where zerg can’t just make drones non-stop, you can get an advantage at battle for larvae and income / worker- & income lead the zerg tries to get).
BCs are kinda similar to Phoenix as the zerg has to stay very defensive and drone a lot with queens and spores and once there is a worker advantage, hydras or corruptors can start pushing the balance.
Also think about health or shields as some sort of “armor”. If you increase the base armor, big units like thors that should get countered by marines, lings or zealots, survive longer and thus create an imbalance where the other player can’t create a counter to efficiently destroy the thors.
So every time, you give an armor upgrade, you might make a few tactics less or even not viable and thus make the game less diverse.
So giving queens the light armor tag would mean that you HAVE to open roaches vs. hellions and you can’t buy time with queens to get a few more drones or defend your creep.
Every terran would open hellion/BC one base every time. That’s hardly a diverse game so it’s bad / not fun to watch.
Protoss units have a lot of health/shields compared to other units so a protoss unit surviving is very important - especially the tech units like immortals, collossi, disruptors, HTs or carriers as it costs time to get produce them / fill up the energy.
Also carriers can counter corruptors if the zerg doesn’t get flyer carapace vs. a protoss that chrono-boosts the weapon upgrades.
You can get a lead here to squeeze out some archons to push back the zerg.
Or the zerg can kill carriers over and over to keep the protoss army value low & manageable (respawn / remax).
I think the main thing about balance is diversity. So if a lot of strategies are viable, the matchup is fine.