Why Torbjörn is Objectively the Best Waifu

General Discussion
1

I’ve seen lots of discussion about “mercy best waifu” or “dva best waifu”. Frankly, I’m appalled at the horrible taste these forums have. It’s time to set the record straight.

Now you might be asking, “how in the hell is torb the best waifu? he’s a 2 foot man who’s beard is almost as tall as him!” There are many reasons.

First, he has a wife and dozens of kids. This shows he’s kind and respectful enough to maintain a marriage for long enough to have all those kids, yet isn’t afraid to try for kids and won’t deny you when you want them. He also is Brigitte’s father, who is strong and at Rein’s shoulders, showing even if he’s short, he has good genes.

Second, he has a charming swedish-if-someone-who-only-heard-a-swedish-accent-once-on-tv accent. His “aardvark pays off” shows his love for animals, and shows his persistence at finally getting an accent right.

Third, he’s not afraid to take risks. He casually drinks molten lava ffs. He also is a war veteran, and has an auto aim turret that he trusts enough not to kill him while he beats it.

Finally, he’s a fun-loving, friendly guy. He rides his turret like a bull, he loves thrill, he’s got a huge beard that he counts as his head. He fires cheetos out of his gun. He’s got all the new tech too!

Clearly, Torbjörn is the best waifu. Hopefully, I’ve enlightened some plebs with uncultured taste.

please help this meme post has gone too far

15 Likes
2

No thanks. Papa Toeb is just bro who shares interests with me. He’s turretsexual, I’m mechasexual. So much similarities.

Bastion is my waifu.

1 Like
3

Bastion is a good Waifu, but he’s got PTSD and might kill you if you step on a branch accidently.

4

Jokes on you I’m already long dead inside.

Reaper here.

5

Tracer resembles my first boy friend. He ended up being gay, who would have thought! Anyway, Tracer best waifu.

PS I’m male.

6

Pharah is best waifu.

7

She’s a decent waifu, but she hates her mom so that shows she dislikes connection.

8

Thanks for the post. Really cheered me up. Having a crap day. <3

9

No prob, you’re welcome for being shown the truth.

10

Torb killed my family with just his hammer. He is ruthless do not meddle with him.

11

You must have a lot of time on your hands

12

Nah, just quick fingers and lots of unused writing skills

13

She doesn’t hate her mom. She loves her mom, but wanted to do what she wanted even if it went against her mother’s wishes.

14

Wait

Your first boyfriend

Ended up beeing gay

And your a man

So you were dating a guy that wasnt gay?

Something doesnt add up here

2 Likes
15

Yeah, but have you heard of our lord and savior, the Iris, and how to embrace it?
Zen best waifu.

16

You say that as if that is a point against him

1 Like
17

Big Daddy HOG beats all

18

No, this shows that torb had never heard of this thing called a condom.

19

Torb is totally a D.Va fan too, Rein gets D.Va to dign something for a friend, and Brigitte has been seen by a D.Va poster, so obviously it’s Papa Torb. This shows he’s in touch with popular culture, and is youthful at heart. Definitely best waifu.