Preface: idk man, I’m just a bit bored and thought I’d make a fun-times yeehaw post, what with all the horrendous stuff happening IRL, and all the complaining on the forums, thought we’d have a laugh and have some fun. So I’m going to lay down the ground rules for this from a maker’s perspective: I will do my damnedest not to use stereotypes. I know they’re funny, but I will try my hardest not to use them, for the simple sake of not having the exact same thing as everyone else. A warning, this is from my personal experience with the mains of these heroes, and is not emblematic of everyone who plays them as a whole. This is a generalization, and I am not attempting to offend anyone.
Support!
Ana:
Ana mains are usually pretty selfish NGL. The ones I know aren’t the greatest at the game, and they use their nade mostly defensively, using it to boost their own heals or their tank’s healing. They’ll either have a lot of healing or almost no healing and 800000k damage. Never hits sleep darts on anything but Roadhog.
Baptiste:
Bap mains are something special. They’re the type who wears sunglasses inside because they’re so damn cool, and when you take off those sunglasses there are more sunglasses underneath. The main problem is that they can be kind of Richards, not going after the low health allies who are in their FOV. YOU have to go to THEM.
Brigitte:
Either misses the good old days (and loves how busted Launch was) and is a salty mf about it, or is generally pretty chill, if not a little overbearing. Her mains are either excited to be Diet Reinhardt and can somehow make it work, or are the truest of Reins, a bodyguard. They will protect their liege with their IRL life. Not very mechanically gifted, but can make her combos work well.
Illari:
“Look buddy, I’m an Engineer. I cause problems.” People who main this hero tend to be a bit downtrodden IRL, quiet but edgy. Probably an artist, and plays Happy Wheels on the reg if they’re younger. An older main has a Tumblr account and has probably dreamt about murdering a human.
Kiriko:
There are two kinds of Kiri mains. The ones who pick her because they enjoy her kit, love the triage she enables and allows them to envision themselves as a protector of their people. Either this, or someone who waifu-picked their main. These people are the worst of the waifupickers, and you must avoid them at all costs. These players play the game to hug their bodypillows, and definitely own all of the merch from their favorite anime. Simp-tier. (I know this is a stereotype, but some of them are completely unavoidable.)
Lifeweaver:
A lifeweaver main is a pedantic dung beetle who tries to annoy the FIBRE OF YOUR BEING so that you STAB THEM with a fountain pen. Otherwise, they’re probably a furry, and likes to envision themselves as either “the funny one”, or “the flirty one” but is bad at both. Generally not that bad at the game, but can’t aim their grip whatsoever.
Lúcio:
Lúcio mains are generally cool dudes, bonus points if they actually make/mix music. You can rely on them to always be listening to some certifiable bop no matter your personal music taste, and are generally pretty talkative over comms. They are pretty skilled at rollouts, and might be a bit of a certified memer. If they have a Reddit account that they use regularly, they have said slurs in comms before and don’t understand that the boop strat doesn’t work much anymore.
Mercy:
Probably someone who idolizes IRL doctors and really wants to help people. They like the way Mercy’s super jump allows her to prioritize triage, much like Kiriko. Probably plays Kiriko also if they’re like this, because they don’t like being hard focused into oblivion. If they use their peashooter and don’t heal? Avoid at all costs. These people are only there to make you SUFFER and will call you dogwater for not getting picks after they refused to heal or damage buff you and your team the whole game. They probably have 1-2 kills, and if you somehow manage to win will type “EZ LOOOOL” in chat.
Moira:
Pretty chill people, who stick to a not very great support. Generally tend to average out their DPS versus healing, because the Moiras who DPS-only don’t main her. Generally a Moira main is someone who probably works a 9-5 and multitask every waking moment of their lives and can’t stop won’t stop baybeee.
Zenyatta:
poor, poor Zen mains. I feel their sorrow after the nerf. Casual Zen mains who played comp were able to ride up and above, were probably on the cusp of Masters or were in Masters. But without the spam, are unable to go the distance. They will be forever benched in Plat or Diamond without the cheese.
DPS!
Ashe:
Probably someone who views themself as a Southerner and drives a lifted truck, but lives in the big city and simply idolizes that kind of life. They’re guaranteed to bungle B.O.B though, either sending him off the map or straight into the enemy team where he gets blasted. Probably has trucknuts.
Bastion:
Either someone who tierpicked, in which case they are only attempting to make you suffer and will rageswap or rage quit the moment you hide from the cheese. Either that or someone who thinks they’re quirky for picking the robot who doesn’t speak words, probably high functioning autistic (and I don’t mean this as an insult, I am one of those autists myself) and LOVES mecha genres. Probably bought the Evangelion keyboard and has a Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Statue.
McREE:
Probably actually lives in the South and does shooting and sharpshooting IRL. Doesn’t have a lifted truck, but definitely uses pistols or AKs in shooting games. Probably is an AK Fan, but there aren’t AKs in Overwatch.
Echo:
Echo mains are probably theatre kids. They enjoy acting in character, and probably voice whoever they transform into when their mic is off. Probably a bit more introverted, and unlikely to go on comms unless it’s necessary.
Genji:
Y’all are expecting the “I need healing” archetype, but I legitimately don’t see this.
Genji mains are the type to constantly deflect whenever possible and blame RNG, lag, or their team when it fails. If the enemy team is comprised of beams, they will assume they’re all trying to counter pick him, even if they came out the gate with beams. If they have an anime username, DEFINITELY owns a mall katana and doesn’t know what katanas are usually made out of. Probably has more than one bodypillow, and unironically likes Girls Bravo. The “main character” type, except somehow less cool. Double this if they have a Reddit or iFunny account.
Hanzo:
Genji’s more respectable brother. Probably has an Instagram account where they post archery clips, or is a big Hunger Games fan and always plays characters who don’t use guns in FPS. Will somehow HS you from across the map, but is hesitant to call it complete luck. If they play at a mid range, their headshots are usually skill. Doesn’t believe spam arrow is a cheese, and will get very heated when it is called such.
Junkrat:
The total GOAT. (Not biased I swear to God lolol)
But in all seriousness, JR mains are usually pretty unpredictable in game, and loathe hitscan heroes because of how hard they counter the boy. Probably uses explosives or BFGs in other shooters too- mains Demoman in TF2, and has a load out of all LMGs/Miniguns and grenade launchers in Fortnite. If they have the Junkfood skin, they’re probably a Richard IRL and will tbag. believes that spamming down chokes is “skill”, despite not knowing the skill it takes to predict grenade bounces.
Mei:
I don’t usually see Mei mains. They’re a rarity, and enjoyed the revert back to 100 dps. Tough luck if they wall you off INTO THE ENTIRE ENEMY TEAM AFTER YOU TOLD THEM YOU WERE CHARGING AND TO PUSH, JFC MEI WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME. She is the bane of all allied Reins/Maugs/Queenies/Balls/Dooms.
Pharah:
They gloat when they’re winning, even if the mic is off and they aren’t typing in chat. When they start losing, they’ll pressure their supports to go Mercy/Weaver, and will get toxic if they refuse to switch. Typically isn’t great at aiming, but is good at managing the fuel resource and dreads the upcoming Pharah changes. Will type “GG EZ” at the end of a won match if they have a negative k/d and were hardcarried by their Tank and other DPS. IRL though, if they aren’t the gloat/toxic type, are probably a Top Gun fan. Definitely tired and that comes out in either emotions as they use this game as an outlet to relieve pressure from their job, or silent. Doesn’t get enough sleep, and may use that as an excuse for their poor direct aim.
Reaper:
Reaper mains these days aren’t as edgy as they were claimed to be in OW1, and are generally older fans of the franchise or 10 year olds choosing him because of his edge factor and shotguns. If they’re the former, they’re probably extremely tired and when their teammates are throwing or are feeding, will get on the mic and say “c’mon guys, just play the game.” after a long sigh. Probably works in IT, and hates it. Also probably depressed on some level, wishes that he was as viable as he was in OW1, but knows the techs and tricks to get some level of value. Against a poke comp, will probably choose Widowmaker or Pharah, under the belief that they can aim long range. They usually can’t, and get frustrated when brickwalled by aim. If their username has xx___xx or “death” anything, avoid at all costs. Are the “trucknuts make me cool” edgelords you believe them to be. Has a Tumblr where they unironically post about how they have “two wolves inside of them”.
Sojourn:
Probably a little bland, the type to play with the pets at a party, or spend the whole time in the corner playing Bejeweled or a card game with the host or their friends. Likes the momentum-based gameplay of Sojourn, and can steamroll when they get their timing right. Generally knows a bit about how to play the game, and is good at doing callouts. Always listen when they tell you to fall back and regroup, because they know what they’re doing.
Soldier 76:
Probably either a parent or a COD kid. Either way, definitely has played more “traditional” fps, and can’t seem to figure out how to work the rosters abilities. Complains that DF/Hanzo/Genji/Sigma/Mercy/Weaver is “unfair” and “busted” because they shot straight into a Grav/Charging DF/Deflection, or got their enemy pulled by a decent Weaver, or their pick got rezzed and they don’t know how to aim up. Expect “Anakin, I have the high ground” to be referenced constantly if this player is a parent. Probably watches sci Fi and has read Discworld or Stephen King at some point, and loves to flaunt it. Probably the type who sees an Xbox and asks “yo bro can we play COD?”
Sombra:
Ever since the rework, people who played her in a style mimicking higher ELO have found increased success with her new teleport and virus, but bemoan her perpetual stealth. Everyone else doesn’t know how to play her properly, and spends their time attempting to farm spawn, getting sent to spawn, and then attempting to gain value Sombra 76ing, and doing decent at it. Probably picked her up because everyone says she is OP, and wants to figure out a cheese to go the distance. Probably the kind of person who plays puzzle games and tries to find ways around the puzzles. Or a speedrunner, but not a very good one.
Torbjörn:
“Look buddy, I’m an Engineer” is the definition of Torb mains. They will put down their turret, attempting to find a good area, and will either safeguard it with their LIFE, or will screw off and try to get picks with their primary/secondary fire. Generally have balls of steel, and will sit their bopping their turret while you attempt to shoot them over the turret. Bonus points if they skip bopping the turret and get straight to bopping YOU. Torb mains will fit themselves into any comp, and are really loyal to the character. Even against Junks and Wintons, they probably won’t swap just because they can outplay and out-cheese their enemy. Pharahs loathe Torbs with good turret placement, as it turns into an anti-air and anti-dive artillery device. IRL, Torbs probably drive a pickup truck or have a roof rack to transport lumber, and definitely have a Home Depot membership.
Tracer:
Either a lesbian who attached themself to the character because they feel a kinship with her, in which case they’re alright if not that great at the character’s intended playstyle. Probably wants a little bit more validation, and a decent Tracer is really good in most lobbies. Otherwise, they’re either new to the game and attempting to main the poster girl - in which case they’ll probably drop her - or someone who always plays zippy characters in games. Probably owns a tuner car, but instead of splicing wires and doing the dirty work use a plug’n’play kit to tune it. Tracer mains have fortitude against tilting due to the fact that they KNOW how squishy she is, but will outplay everything to go the distance. Probably played as a scout instead of a direct engager, and is pretty decent at picking a fight.
Widowmaker:
Widow mains are odd. They refuse to swap, not out of a sense of loyalty to the character, but because they want that 5man POTG. They will purposefully steal your kills, even if you clearly have it in the bag. Generally a bit of a brat, but is obscenely good at the one thing they know how to do, snipe. Gets tilted really easily, and will not swap if they get two kills in the first few minutes of a match. If they do swap, be prepared for Bastion to come roaring out the gate.
Tanks!
D.va:
Probably another mecha fan, but instead of buying an Eva keyboard, they have an Asuka bodypillow. Either that or they don’t even like anime, and pick D.va because she’s the “gamer girl” stereotype, and they want to project themself onto this mould that they don’t fit. If they do this, expect “uwu” and “lmao” to be said in comms instead of actual emotions through their voice or actual laughter. If an original D.va main, probably fears everything and wishes for the good old days of diving and vibing. Hates Zarya being meta, and tolerates Winton because he is in a similar boat to D.va. generally D.va players have balls of titanium if they’re past their gamer ™️ phase. Expect to be flattened by the mech, even if you’re playing Zarya. They do not care and will use any cheese and tech to do the job and outplay you, and they deserve some respect for it.
Doomfist:
WTF. Why do you torture yourself this way.
Junker Queen:
Queenie mains are people who love the character of Queen from her cinematic short, even if her imposing nature is nerfed into being the goofy one in-game. Will quote her voicelines, especially the “I need a knife” one. Pretty cool IRL, and chill in game. Swaps if they’re asked to, but you can tell they’re reluctant. Probably plays Doom or Mortal Kombat.
Orisa:
They probably tierpicked when deciding who to main, and as such should not be trusted. If not, they’re another instance of the quirky robot club, but with less mechanical skill than Bastion mains and more sense of timing. Have yet to realize that tanks like Mauga and Zarya completely shred through them, and constantly feed enemy Zaryas. Probably not the most intelligent player, so they choose lower skill floor heroes, and manage to get good value despite not being great at the game. (This is not an insult, this is my personal observation. I was an Orisa main at one point, feel free to clown on me for it)
Ramattra:
Ram mains are pretty cool, actually. They’re pretty attached to their robot overlord despite the moral quandaries he raises, and love his in-game interactions with other heroes. They probably enjoy his kit, too. The purest form of love for an OW player. IRL, Ram mains tend to enjoy older games, and tend to play Ganondorf in Smash Bros. Expect “Rock’em’Sockem” to be used/referenced when playing with a Ram, and expect them to either charge like a Rein, or play more passively until the team decides its rush time. Probably someone who requires instructions before doing anything.
Reinhardt:
LIVE WITH HONOUR
DIE WITH GLORY
LIVE WITH HONOUR
DIE WITH GLORY
LIVE WITH HONOUR
DIE WITH GLORY
In all seriousness though, Reinhardts… Are pretty freaking cool. Another one of the mains who are insanely loyal to the big man, and while they will swap if they have to, prefer to jam it out going unga bunga HAMMERTIME. Can guarantee they listen to dad rock, and have AC/DC playing every time they charge into the enemy team. Not great at communicating, and is prone to fat fingering the charge button or accidentally going before the team is ready or all there. Rein mains typically act like this IRL too, jumping the gun perpetually. They try and fit themselves into the mould that is Reinhardt, and tend to succeed more than D.va mains at this- the reason being that Rein is a massive dad. They’re typically the type of person who rolls up to a party and either drinks a LOT, or doesn’t touch a drop of anything that isn’t water or soda. No in between. Probably really enjoys the “heavy” archetype in other games, and drives an old school Chopper or a Junker, but claims that “it runs just fine! I fixed it myself!” Even when it’s leaking transmission fluid.
Roadhog:
Hog mains are expectantly waiting for their rework, and are generally some of the coolest people. They saw the obese mercenary who needs to take a hit from his inhaler to do anything, lugging around a dirty hook and said “I want THAT GUY to represent me.” They are genuinely funny and well meaning in conversations, even if they’re not that great at the game without his one shot. Will swap, but they REALLY don’t want to. Enjoy teaming up with Junkrats, and miss the Hog n Ball torture strat from OW1 with a passion. A JR main and a Hog main IRL annoy the bejeezus out of another though.
Sigma:
Someone who tries to pass themselves off as very smart, but isn’t quite there yet. Probably got all B’s in school and is still extremely sore about it, so they idealize themselves in Sigma’s shoes. Is definitely subscribed to Shoddycast, and parrots everything Austin says. Either that or they watch Ancient Aliens.
Wrecking Ball:
A member of the “sunglasses on top of sunglasses” club. A true Ball main isn’t playing this game with you. YOU are playing HIS game. You will remain trapped inside of his mind games, your backline forever tormented by the round and fuzzy spectre of death that is Hammond. If they’re losing, they will probably deflect with “look, he’s adorable! Look at his submarine captain costume!”
Winston:
Winston mains are generally good at the game, and understand on a fundamental level how to dive. They have issues doing it in OW2 without an entire dive comp, but they have a good enough understanding of the mechanics that he requires to the point where the difficulty is negligible. These people probably have issues with bottling up emotions, and definitely sympathize with him on a deep level. I have never seen a true Winton main swap. That may be because I’m relatively new and don’t play a lot of comp, but even in QP, monkey mains are loyal, even moreso than Rein mains. They probably get A’s in maths, and when they’re losing will rewatch the VOD from the match and analyze it frame-by-frame. Spends HOURS in practice vs AI every day to get the techs down before even attempting them in normal matches. If they’re duoed with a DPS, expect it to be the yellow McRee skin and the “Explorer” skin, and expect Curious George to be referenced.
Zarya:
Her mains are extremely salty after her gigabuff, because Zar used to be a niche pick - while being useful and playable, was nowhere near this strong - and they felt special when they got POTG because nobody ever faced Zar, and therefore kept feeding her. Newer Zaryas mains definitely tierpicked her, and don’t understand how the hell to fall back, believing that it’s just “move forward to win”, and won’t drop her while she remains a very strong tank. Overall, Zar mains are pretty quiet and don’t talk much from my experience, preferring to play the damn game, which is probably why they picked a hero who’s higher on the tierlist. True Zar mains who did this probably feel a little bit of guilt towards the enemies they mow down, especially when someone’s running D.va on the enemy team.
So that’s my take! I haven’t put Mauga on here, simply because he hasn’t been permanently released yet, but so far I’d say they’re similar to Reinhardt or Hog. Will pick him because they like HIM. Also the chainguns. Also he’s fun. MAUGA MAUGA MAUGA
Also hope we all had fun, it took me a while to write this, apologies if anyone was offended by this. That was not the intention, I simply wanted to have fun with the characters of the videogame I like.
