Every single time I play this game, I feel forlorn, empty and surrounded by enemies. This game has destroyed my self-esteem and has shown drastically, how lonely I am in real life.
The only thing I can think of, is, that I am not good enough, because I play in Bronze, because Gold smurfs best me with ease, because I go on losing streaks that can last for 20 games, because I become so toxic in this process, that four accounts of mine are gone for good.
On top of that, I feel awful, because I am addicted to this gloom and doom as it caters to my own private hell.
This game means being lonely and liking the pain and shows me verbatim how low a human I am.
Throw away the idea of win/losses, focus on your gameplay to improve.
Enjoy the process by playing whatever hero you like, and keep playing. Eventually, you’ll improve. Set some mini-goals if you want. It takes time, but focusing on improving yourself while not beating yourself over every single mistake helps a lot.
I totally comprehend my flaws as I have played this game since season one and never have I been able to climb out of Bronze once. I tried so much, but in the end it is my own inability to discard self-pity and the longing to punish myself for my shortcomings.
This is my nightmare and has been this way since the day I was able to walk.
I play this game with friends and used to get upset with them if they didn’t play the way I expected or follow up on something I was doing.
I still feel that way sometimes, but I’m much better now about forgiving and understanding.
It’s easy to have fun when you’re winning, but I’m getting better at having fun when we’re losing too.
I think if you’re in a bad state of mind, this is the worst game you could possibly play. You’ll get frustrated with yourself and with others, and you’ll lose over and over because of it. I’d recommend doing anything else first to get yourself in a good mood. Go for a walk, watch something funny, talk to someone who makes you smile if you can. This game is great fun if you’re cheerful going into it, and absolute misery if you’re not.
sounds like depression bro… I feel you a bit, like being addicted, feeling lonely in the game, surrounded by enemies and 100% agree when you’re tryharding and really committing to getting better, feel yourself improving and just keep losing its absolutely soul crushing but yano.
I’ve found myself despairing and having mood drops big time triggered by OW, even quick play. But only when I’m not on meds. When I have anti depressants I just keep on the grind and it doesn’t get me down, neither does anything else in life really, I don’t despise myself or despair like ever. I just crack on and feel alright…
I think you might benefit from seeking help from a MH professional or a doctor and maybe getting a therapy for mood because OW is extremely toxic for untreated depression imo. Its unlikely Overwatch can make you feel this ill without an underlying personal problem, no matter how crap this game is.
Even if its not depression- being addicted as you say to this toxic game, is still not well and I suggest you get help
Yes, this depression has accompanied me for decades now and since I do not have the means to see a doctor, nothing can be done here. At times, I am able to sustain myself with mediation but this can only last so long.
The longing to hurt myself and dragging myself down is overwhelming. But, I am saving money at the moment to see a therapist, but for the time being, I must live with myself.
I would recommend trying to get a prescription from a doctor instead of a therapist honestly, if money is an obstacle to getting treatment. SSRIs are cheap, usually highly effective, and give you the means + wherewithal, resilience, energy and focus to actually do self help meaningfully. A therapist would try to teach you Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which you can teach yourself from a book on amazon for 5% of the price of a 1 HR session. I HIGHLY recommend saving, if need be for a doctor to write you a prescription. But I’m not a professional. I can only urge you to seek professional medical advice instead of counselling…
I hope you feel better soon tho homie ;__; the struggle is real!
This is really eye opening to see how bad Overwatch has become. The fact that this is an alternative to self harm is both inspiring and sad. But, yeah, that is why I more or less quit. I was feeling like I was putting myself through torture playing it. Ha ha ha.
Alright, this advice might sound cliche but it worked for me so I shall spread my findings
After maining heroes like Lucio and Widow for the longest time, and also having similar experiences to what you are saying, I tried playing other heroes that I found out of my usual and something for me to learn
For example it would be like Torb or Pharah or Echo, just heroes that I never touched before since they were either out of the meta or I just felt like I wasn’t “as good” at them compared to my other heroes
All in all, I have been having a BLAST playing the game recently playing these heroes and other random not-seen-in-game-that-much picks. It gives me a path to learn a new ability and feels great instead of trying the same thing over and over and not succeeding
Overwatch is a team-based game (was before Overwatch 2) so if you are confident YOU are playing well, it could simply be one of your 5 teammates (or filthy smurfs).
What I do try to make groups with good players, eventually you might even get a 6-stack and become friends.
I can’t help you with your Overwatch playing, NotaWinner, but I can comment on your other issues of depression and whatnot.
As someone who has struggled with severe anxiety and depression for two decades, I can’t stress how good this advice is.
I’m not going to sit here and say Cognitive Behavioral Therapy isn’t good because it is, but what most therapists charge you for just isn’t worth it. I’ve had more than one therapist whose entire sessions were literally giving me photocopied pages from a workbook (specifically The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook), asking me how my week was, and then telling me to take the pages home for homework.
I eventually just asked myself why I keep paying for therapists when I could buy the workbook for the same cost as a co-pay, so that’s what I did. Along with picking up Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Dummies (which is quite good despite the naming).
I don’t know where you live but there are some good online pharma-psychiatry telehealth services available in North America these days. If you can find a way to afford $99 a month, subscription telehealth services like “Rethink my Healthcare” can be a lifeline. Their psychiatry system is able to prescribe SSRIs and SSNRIs for most anxiety and depression conditions. They can’t prescribe benzodiazepines due to prescribing restrictions but if you have a regular doctor they will coordinate with them if they feel you would benefit from a benzo like Ativan or Xanax.
I also regularly go stretches without help due to insurance stupidity so I understand your frustration, NotaWinner. I hope you’re able to find the means to get some help for your depression soon.
Hey man, if you need someone to talk to, there are a TON of people willing to just chat with you, even just on this forums page. Doesn’t even have to be about your struggles, could just be about something you want to talk about. I also had depression but was lucky enough to have the right circumstances and get medicated.
Also if you are just not having fun with the game, you arent obliged to play it. Take a break, go play a non-competitive game like Ori or just a casual platformer. Really helped me ease off the stress of playing competitive games, and with that helped me dim down my depression.