Rules of the Internet: OW Forum Edition

Rule #1: If it exists, it’s overpowered. No matter how weak a hero really is, someone out there thinks it’s OP. Thus, every hero is OP at all times.

Rule #2: It doesn’t matter how many people you educate that Moira’s beam doesn’t actually lock-on, those who say it does will always outnumber them 10 to 1.

Rule #3: 95% of people calling for nerfs on any hero are bronze players who don’t know how to counter that hero.

Rule #4: If it’s your main, it needs a buff.

Rule #5: Trying to convince someone that Hanzo doesn’t “shoot logs” is like debating with a flat-earther.

Rule #6: If you hold a seashell up to your ear, you can still hear 2018 Mercy mains screeching about her rework and begging for Mass Res back.

Rule #7: If you lost, it’s because DPS didn’t kill enough, tanks didn’t make enough room, and or healers didn’t heal. Not sticking together? Trickling? Ignoring the objective? Nah, the Soldier player just didn’t do enough.

Rule #8: The team who sticks together always beats the team who never does. The same is true for staying on the objective.

Rule #9: DPS spamming “I need healing” every game still don’t know where the health packs are.

Rule #10: Pharmercy always wins if your team doesn’t have a good enough hit-scan player.

Rule #11: Always Nano D.Va

Rule #12: Pharah will always die directly before, during, or directly after her Ult

Rule #13: Hanzo headshots are always luck.

Rule #14: The player that is killing you a lot is hard-carrying.

Rule #15: With each death comes honor. With honor, redemption.

Rule #16: High kills & low damage is still better than low kills & high damage.

Rule #17: Bastion mains are superior human beings.

Rule #18: His name is Mccree. In the same sense that it isn’t Aerith, it’s Aeris.

Rule #19: Mystery Heroes has the least toxicity. It’s great.

Rule #20: The player who left the game was the reason the team was doing poorly anyway.

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Rule nr 19, unless you go against 4x mei and lucio…
Im sorry but im gonna be salty af

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Something like that is like 1 out of 1,000 games though.

Alright this will be fun!

#1-Tank doom is overpowered for sure
3. So everyone is a bronze player for wanting genji nerfed noted.
4. so, genji needs a buff real
7. So everything is everyone else’s fault no mater what role you play. FACTS
10. Wrong. Genji is the hitscan. He has double jump and blade for a reason
11. No. Lucio
12. Also wrong, the tank dva is too busy chasing the nanoed lucio around the map
13. Wrong. Simple geometry.
14. or it’s a skill issue
15. or feeding and flaming and diffing
17. no. if you’ve stuck with mercy all this time that takes an iron will to be a E girl or trans E boy
18. His name is McCassidy
19. Mystery heroes is the exposing of 1 trick dvas holding m1 the entire game
20. No it’s always that 1 trick refusing to switch.

I hope you know, most of these are jokes. You’re taking some of these way too seriously.

oh i know. just having myself a laugh about it.

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Oh… well carry on then.

You’ve forgot the rigged MMR with 50% forced winrate

That one is kinda complicated.

50% winrate isn’t ‘forced’ per se, but the MMR system IS set up in a way to inevitably curve into 50%, unless you’re like a top 50 player.

The very existence of MMR means that has to be true. It’s apriori logic.

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Reminds me, during season 1 or 2 of OW1 I went on a quest to find an “X is OP” thread on the forums for every hero in the game. I managed to get one for everybody but zen

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The reason it’s Rule #1 is because it’s 100% true lol