Figured I’d start a fun thread where you confess your inner most thoughts / habits when playing, but you’d never admit to your team. 
I’ll start to give you an example (you can do as many roles as you play/want)
As a DPS:
I shoot the tank more than I should just to pad the numbers so I don’t get yelled at for not doing enough damage.
As a Support:
Like a bad mother, yes, I do have a favorite child (DPS), that I decide on in the first minute of the game, and I will pay more attention to and boost that particular one over the other.
As a Tank:
I have absolutely no idea what I’m actually doing, but try to hide it behind confident voiceline spam. 
31 Likes
I get a little ego trip when I see my team compliment my healing, but they don’t know that the entire time I’m ridiculing them for their horrid positioning
31 Likes
As a DPS: I straight up counter pick at the drop of a hat. You know how when you play Ball, someone will just instantly switch to Sombra? That was me. I did that. The other DPS wasn’t going to, but I will, every god damn time.
As a Support: The moment I thought the fight was over, healing stopped, yes I DID just leave you out there to die it was not you thinking otherwise. The sooner you die, the sooner we can group up for the next push, I would shoot you myself if I could.
As a Tank: You know when you were blaming the Supports or DPS for throwing the game? It wasn’t them, I am a HORRABLE tank, It was me, and you are yelling at each other over it. I KNOW why the team lost, it was because I lost the game for you.
28 Likes
I am not sure this even constitutes as a confession or not; however, as support, I am the boss. I distribute my healing as I desire, your input is irrelevant and the temper tantrum is noted… But I do not care.
11 Likes
DPS: Yes, I know I’m doing bad, yes, I know you’d rather have Sojourn or Genji, no, I can’t play them as well as the other heroes. Let me just get into my groove on whoever I’m playing, and we’ll see what happens.
Tank: It may look like I’ve got no self-respect, but you can’t get me to play Zarya rn. Orisa is the way.
I’ve got nothing to say for Support.
3 Likes
This is it. This is literally the driving force for a support main. We don’t care about being the good guy, we’re better than you and we know it, if you want healing, kneel.
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That’s peak behavior. You need zero coaching.
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I don’t understand the connection between these two statements.
What does being a bad mother have to do with having a favourite child?
1 Like
This explains a lot of my games. So much entitlement for a position easily eliminated with self healing.
4 Likes
I know, right? It is insane how many people feel entitled to your heals.
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As a Tank: This high HP pool exists for one reason- to do two more seconds of maximum stupid before I explode. This works far better than it has any right to.
As a DPS: People think I’m a team player when I peel for them. Really though, I’m just using them as bait- if I was actually trying to protect them I wouldn’t be sneaking around holding my fire.
As a Support: I will drag your corpse to the finish line without ever considering how you feel about being saved or left to die, or even that you can have such thoughts. That takes too long and aint no one got time for that.
6 Likes
As a Tank: I’m the boss. I’m taking the best possible positioning to put the fight where it probably should be, and if you’re not with me, you’re wrong. Exception being the wild 6v6 Hog flank either because I got bored or because my team stressed me out enough for me to hope to get picks myself to win.
As a Support: I do not care if you die. If you’ve gone somewhere dumb or wrong I’m probably not going to prop up your stupid, unless you’ve proved yourself capable of carrying us (aka not needing a support’s help, anyway), then I’ll pocket you. Might toss a resource your way if I feel generous, but that’s often a lapse in my judgement. “You can’t heal stupid, but you can Res it.” Sometimes I’ll res a DPS I don’t like just to watch them die again.
As a DPS: The only real hitscan I feel like I can get consistent value on is Soldier, and even then it’s probably just decent Rockets. If I hate my team I’ll go Sombra and just do what I can, most of that will be hacking packs. I have no remorse at all picking Sym, Torb, or Mei, and I don’t really care if my Wall ruined your ult or POTG (esp if you didn’t warn me you were gonna use it by pressing the ‘ult ready’ button).
3 Likes
As a support: if you’re begging for healing, while actively running away, or genji double jumping over me, or charge into the enemy at 20hp I will stop tying to heal you.
As a DPS: I will waste the nano if you hit me with it without warning. I will be out of ammo, out of cooldowns and out of position, facing down the rein barrier and just panic.
As a Tank: I will take the tank 1v1 100% of the time if the enemy tank is the same character. The rest of the team is on you
3 Likes
That just me in general most of team fights.
Dont tell this to my teammates tho.
4 Likes
As a DPS:
I never ask for help or healing due to been support main I know how mutch its annoying to spam for it.
If I need it I run to Health pack or hide somwhere where support will see me or run to them.
As a Support:
If you pick health pack while I heal you I will abandon you for a while,
If you say “I need healing” while Im healing you I will abandon you for rest of the game.
If you spam “I need healing” before match starts or hide somwhere and spam I will do 1 atempt - point on place where I could heal you and use healing ability or fire in that direction for 3-4s (depends where you are and where the fight/enemy is) if you not get any healing its on you and I will abandon you.
“some of you may die but it’s a sacrifice i am willing to make” - Lord Farquaad
As a Tank:
I rush B then run back, then I rush B then run Back.
Sometimes I Ask support for swap for something differend then they Playin due to X support fit to X tank.
If not “oh well” and that’s all.
3 Likes
As a Support
When I see the Widow, I always take Mercy for a poket. I can’t resist. It’s my favorite thing to do, Widows’ Pocket. I even have hotkeys for her made to respond to her conversation. Do you feel alive? Well, of course. Do you like me?, ooh, god, yeah 
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As dps
If somebody on the other team is toxic or really annoying me I’ll solo rip tire them all match. Even if it means missing out on more kills or if the fight is already won/lost.
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Support : DPS have to prove themselves to me within the first three minutes or that Nanoboost will always be going to tank.
4 Likes
As a DPS
I promise I only picked Widow to see how good my aim is that match. If I fail to get a single kill my first life, I will switch. Oh, and when I’m Junkrat, I’m the one who shot the reflecting Genji. I know what I did. I’m not sorry.
As a Support
You people have no idea, as Moira, how much restraint I’m showing by not just going full DPS. But I will do just that if you complain about my healing. I need to do damage to refill that meter, and there’s only so much damage I can out-heal.
As a Tank
I hate playing Zarya, and I will only play her if the enemy picked something cheap and toxic, and every moment I play her I will be hating the game just that tiny bit more than I already do.
3 Likes
As tank: I just pick whatever tank I feel like playing
As dps: I shoot the tank first because is easier to hit
As support: I heal only what is in front of me
2 Likes