Hey all. I know that the solution to this is: “just have a positive mental attitude” like in this video by: ChroNoDotA https://youtu.be/F7c4knybESY
I however can’t seem to stop myself from getting frustrated at others since the Soldier changes (to me its a nerf i dont want to discuss that matter).
I used to take frustration out on myself and even blame myself for my teammates failtures. This led to my friends and others blaming me for their mistakes. Now ive turned into the toxic person they used to be or perpahs even worse.
I am self aware about it and I’d like what I can do to change that is not going back to my old ways of " i will take my own and everyone elses blame"
How do i find balance?
Edit: I dont have anger issues outside of the game in all honesty i am much more calm in general than before. I suppose i started taking it out on the game. How do i not??
Ok I used to tilt hard, I still do sometimes. But I found it really really help to blame yourself for literally everything.
That Rein dropped his shield and you died? “I should have played safer”
They didn’t heal you? “I should have called for healing” or “I should have played safer” or “I will swap to a character with more self-sustain”
These were just the examples I could think of, they’re pretty poor but I found it extremely helpful to just critique my own gameplay because it made it feel more in my control regardless of whether it was actually my fault.
TL;DR use “I” phrases to blame yourself and feel in control.
I used to do this and some friends would tell me to stop saying sorry for everything. Not everything is your fault so fort. Then id have other friends (i didnt realise until later) who would constantly use my self critiisism to then put me down further. To then make my mistakes more and more important. Aka: It ended up being that every loss we lose is my fault.
I started solo quing after this and found that I could not just blame it all on myself. Then after a while due to frustration of playing well and still not winning id get toxic. Then instead of increasing our chances of winning by giving suggestions I first did this for a couple of months:
Left voicechat and muted chats.
Wrote passive aggressive or straight up aggressive “u s*ck, ur bad so fort” in the team chat.
Straight up muting everyone on my team and shoot calling but in a way thats not friendly but rather: ur all below me.
I think it has to do with the fact that im refusing to accept the Soldier changes and that I now suck at him Or at least I cannot carry like i used to. Due to this every mistake a teammate makes or if we dont have proper tanks I start raging.
Story:
I have however noticed that I do sometimes still have the: its my fault always mindset WHEN I PLAY VERY GOOD. I had 62 elims and 32k hero damage with new Soldier in 17min on junkertown. I blamed myself and apologised to my team for being bad (i meant it as i could not kill everyone). I was quing with a mercy at this time. She said its not my bad and blame the tanks. Then the hog on our team said its all our bad. And i took it to heart and thought yea i am just so bad. Its how i used to deal with it. I’d have 45% of the teams overall damage or even 80% kill participation. We lost and i had a duo? They’d make sure to tell me how bad I am and I’d agree.
Due to this in my past I just can’t anymore. If I do well (like the past 30 games Ive lost 28 out of them). I had 4 golds every game (i am not joking). I am however also sure that me tilting like crazy and being over all toxic contributed to me also losing every single one of them.
I agree on this message. But how do you do that… Without letting it ruin your mental health?
When I only blame myself I end up feeling guilty for others mistakes and I end up feeling horrible for everything. If someone criticizes me I end up taking it really hard. When im toxic I don’t care and look at it as: you don’t know what you’re on about.
Overall question I got to you without my rambling: How do I take blame for my own mistakes (and ignore my teams mistakes) without letting it mess up my mental health?
Maybe consider how you’re feeling before you log into OW. You say maybe you’re taking out your everyday frustrations in the game…If thats the case, maybe you need to find another activity to help you release that stress before you play OW. After work/school, instead of getting online, do some exercise or have a quiet hour where you read a book or meditate. Find a healthy way to de-stress.
Maybe then, if you get on OW when you’re less stressed out, you won’t tilt as easily at your teammates. It won’t make them any better at the game, but maybe you’ll atleast be able to handle it better (for your own sake). And if you find yourself getting toxic and tilted, log off and take a break.
play singleplayer games. and come to overwatch comp once in a while.
Blaming your team is bad because it will make you toxic. Blaming your self would make sound trash and feel misrable about it. And singleplayer dont have teammates and are not that hard (unless you set to hard mode for some reason)
You would feel more at ease then you can start play quick play. The point is dont play comp for extended amounts of time.
also i dont recommend join voice chat. as much as how useful it is. you should be warned of toxic teammates
I understand why you say that but I stay away from alcohol and such. Just not my cup of tea personally.
Happy for you, I hope you’ll be able to.
I stated in a long post above that I didnt use to be like this. So I hope to once again be able to deal with my own tilt like I did in the past.
Good way to put it, Brukin. Due to having blamed myself constantly and friends agreeing with me in the past. It put a serious strain on my mental health but I accepted it. When I got tilted I kept telling myself its always my fault no matter what no matter how much I do its my fault.
That is not a healthy mindset and it made me excausted. But going completely 360 and blaming everyone else is not the solution either ive come to realise.
My kindness and willingness to take blame was taken advantage of. Then as a result of such I joined them in their bad ways.
Edit:
Yes I do this a lot. I play a lot of mmos and come to overwatch comp after playing that. I also use it to relax but it seems to not work like it used to anymore.
Any other suggestions for not becoming toxic/accepting others mistakes and only focusing on ur own? Yet not blaming urself so much u become guilty and suffer due to it.
At the highest level or lowest level of competition no one has said all this rage got me to be the best.
If you have the awareness that it isn’t helping the only true solution is to put the effort to stop doing it.
You can look at games 5 years ago and ask, are you still mad about those experiences?
Hell do you honestly remember every single loss and every single win in a game of your Overwatch career?
Now if you don’t give a crap about your wins and losses back in February, then in all seriousness why does the loss you have today or tomorrow mean anything?
You forget that anger is in reality a positive emotion although we like to think of it as a negative one. Its positive for the user doing the anger but negative for everyone around them. Thereby we call it negative.
Its a good way to get frustration and hurt out in a selfish short-run time. It however is not good in the long run nor for people around you. That’s why it exists so its purpose i am aware of. Do i agree with you on it being bad to take out on others? Yes 100%, but theres a reason people do it. Again not something we should accept nor continue with.
You’re right. But how does one deal with ones own frustrations in a proper manner?
It matters to me what i got in the past. But ur right that for the overall gameplay it does not matter. Its about having fun and improving I do agree with you on that.
I am simply searching for a solution that is not going back to my old ways of being so toxic to myself it put me in a really bad headspace.
How do you avoid being toxic to others AND yourself?
it’s inevitable that some games are unwinnable whenever it’s from your teams hero picks, their bad decisions or otherwise. if you can recognize that the match is basically already lost then just try not to care. go play another hero, practice them, etc. there’s no point in trying when your team isn’t trying themselves. going against that and trying to win when it’s unwinnable will just drive you mad.
I will use the excuse of English being my 3rd language. What do you mean by this?
I understand that just like anyone else that certain decisions made by you, your team, one player or overall team synergy. Will then cause a loss.
I believe in this:
1/4 of games is lost due to: someone elses fault, leaver, dc, thrower, someone being toxic
1/4 of games is won due to other players on your team not really you (or enemy having a thrower, toxic person, dc so fort)
2/4 of games meaning 50% are up to you. Meaning that if one gives positive attitude one will get more wins. Same goes for not feeding and trying to keep it together.
But! doing what i mentioned above will make u mentally exhausted from comp trying to keep it all together.
I disagree. I always try but ive gotten to the point where im tired of constantly having to babysit my team. So i turned to the dark side so to speak. I do not think one should give up even if one has a player whos throwing or dcing. It is still winnable if you have good team synergy.
I suppose i just summed it up.
I should just go back to being nice to people but feeling exhausted due to it. Because I feel like I need to babysit everyone and make sure everyone is nice and playing together.
Throwing is not the solution, but being toxic is not either. toxicity from ur part or in this case my part causes losses… sigh
I just always treat the game as a game…I’m playing for fun not for a result…and in general I don’t allow myself to get angry over things that are not in my direct control (ie - other players)…
I’ll get angry about my own play…but I’m not about to get angry about some dude on other side of planet…there’s no point to it
Or at least I cannot carry like i used to. Due to this every mistake a teammate makes or if we dont have proper tanks I start raging.