Greetings brother, sister, and/or toaster. Do you want to achieve enlightenment? Do you think every intelligent life form should live equally (except Mercy mains)? If so, then you should embrace the Iris and main Zenyatta.
Step 1. Buddhism
The IRS (not the tax agency) is quite similar to Buddhism; a belief that states sitting under a tree is the best way to watch a band lead by Kurt Cobain. In order to play Robo Buddha, you have to adapt this religion and do Buddhist things.
These include:
-Being friendly towards the Genji who called you boosted.
-Not screaming at that Roadhog hooking you on accident.
-Smiling in the face of a five DPS team comp.
-Dancing with peaceful enemies, then getting shot by Widowmaker, Hanzo, and Mercy at the same time.
I understand how this may seem difficult, but it will be so worth it to experience tranquility or whatever stuff I read on a pamphlet.
Step 2. Balls
Did you really think I was going to be mature about this? You should have known better. Anyways, Dalai Lama 9000 slaps people with his balls to kill them. You have no choice but to make childish comments about the double entendre. These remarks should be targeted at the teenagers since they will undoubtedly feel awkward and begin to question their sexuality. You don’t have to worry about using it against women because they don’t actually exist. Finally, don’t use it against Tracer. She isn’t affected since we both know you’re not going to hit her and she has the unfair advantage of a Christmas comic and two sprays.
Step 3. Being Cool
The Nutcracker is easily the best DPS healer. After all, he is meant to kill things the way peaceful monks usually do: violently and without regret. The final step in maining him is to kill everything. Not just the enemy team; murder everything in your path. When you wake up you have to smash your alarm clock and cry for a couple hours because you broke your hand. Later, make a bowl of cereal and ERADICATE IT! Don’t pour the milk before the cereal because the only thing your killing there is your dignity. If you see a dog, then you must… pet him like a good boy and DESTROY ANYONE WHO DISAGREES! You get the idea; now ANNIHILATE that like and subscribe button, follow me on Snapgram, Instamblr, and TwitBook for a chance at a free Zenyatta body pillow giveaway!
Tl;Dr What’s Ligma?
