Joker: “I know! How about another joke, Murray?”
Murray: “No, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes.”
Joker: “What do you get…”
Murray: “I don’t think so.”
Joker: “…when you cross a mentally drained solo-Q’er with a developer that abandons the game and treats us like trash!?”
Murray: “Call the police, Gavin, call the police.”
Joker: “I’ll tell you what you get! You get what you developers deserve!”
[Arthur Mutes Murray in the comms]
Full Script for the lolz
Joker Reports Murray Script
Note: Murray pronounced as Murr-aaayyy
(Note: I wanted to replace names with Ay-Ronn, etc…but ToS CoC…)
======
[Joker arrives late out of spawn after game starts…]
Murray: “Well that was quite an entrance”
[audience laughs]
Murray: “you okay?”
Joker: “yeah. This is exactly how I imagined it.”
Murray: “Well that makes one of us.”
[audience laughs]
Murray: “So can you tell us about this skin? When we spoke earlier you mentioned that this skin is not a political statement. Is that right?”
Joker: “That’s right Murray, I’m not political" (in bad Murray impression:) "I’m just trying to make people laugh”
Murray: “And how’s that going for ya?”
[Joker does signature laugh]
Murray: “So I know you’re a comedian. Have you been working on any new material? Do you wanna tell us a joke?”
Joker: “Ok.” pulls out joke book
Murray: “You’ve got a book. A book of jokes.”
[Joker looks through book]
Murray: “Take your time. We got all night.”
Joker: “Ok, ok. Here’s one.” pauses and smacks lips “Knock Knock.”
Murray: “And you had to look that up?”
[audience laughs]
Joker: “I wanna get it right!.. Knock Knock”
Murray: “Who’s there?”
Joker: “It’s the defence matrix ma’am, your sons account had been compromised by a Troll, he’s perma-banned” laughs
[Trombone Noises]
Sssniperwolf: “Ahhhh! No, no, no, – You can not joke about that.”
Murray: “Yeah, that’s not funny, Arthur, that’s not the kind of humor we do on this show.”
Joker: “Okay, I’m s-yeah I’m sorry. It’s just ya know, clenches teeth it’s been a rough few weeks, Murray. laughs Ever since I…I reported those three-stack competitive guys.
[Audience gasps and murmurs]
Murray: “Okay, I’m waiting for the punchline.”
Joker: “There is no punchline. It’s not a joke.”
[Audience murmurs]
Murray: “You’re serious, aren’t you? You’re telling us you reported those three young men on Numbani?”
Joker: “Mmm-hmm.”
Murray: “And why should we believe you?”
Joker: “I ain’t got nothing left to lose. Nothing can hurt me anymore. Huehuehue! Mah life is nothing – but a comedy.”
[Audience murmuring and booing]
Murray: “Let me get this straight. You think that reporting those guys is funny?”
Joker: “I do. And I’m tired of pretending it’s not. Comedy is subjective, Murray. Isn’t it what they say? All of you… the system that knows so much… you decide what’s right or wrong? The same way that you decide what’s funny (points to self), or not (points to murray).”
Audience member: “Get him off!”
Murray: “Okay, I think I might understand that you… did this to start a movement? To become a symbol?”
Joker: “Come on, Murray… Do I look like the kind of troll that could start a movement? I reported those guys because they were awful. Everybody is awful these days. It’s enough to make anyone crazy!”
Murray: “Okay, so that’s it? You’re “crazy?” That’s your defense for reporting three young men?”
Joker: “Nah. They couldn’t carry a game to boost them selves.”
[Audience booing]
Joker: “Oh, why is everybody so upset about these guys? If it was me dropping to silver, you’d walk all over me! I get stomped every day and you don’t notice me! – But these guys, what, because Stylosa and Samito went and cried about them on Stream?”
Murray: “You have a problem with Samito…and Stylosa too?”
Joker: “Yes, I do… Have you seen what it’s like out there, Murray? Do you ever actually leave the studio? Everybody just yells and screams at each other. Nobody’s civil anymore! Nobody thinks what it’s like to be the other guy! You think streamers like Samito ever think what it’s like to be someone like me? To be somebody but themselves? They don’t. They think that we’ll just sit there and take it like good little gamers. That we won’t DPS and go wild!”
Murray: “You finished? I mean, it’s so much self-pity, Arthur. You sound like you’re making excuses for reporting those young players! Not everybody, and I’ll tell you this, not everyone is awful.”
Joker: “You’re awful, Murray.”
Murray: “Me? I’m awful? Oh yeah, how am I awful?”
Joker: “Cutting content. Reworking my mains. Telling me you improved the game. You just wanted to make money off me. You’re just like the rest of them!”
Murray: “You don’t know the first thing about me, pal. Look what happened because of what you did, what it led to. There are riots out there. Two streamers are on suspension, and you’re laughing, you’re laughing. Someone was banned today because of what you did.”
Joker: “I know! How about another joke, Murray?”
Murray: “No, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes.”
Joker: “What do you get…”
Murray: “I don’t think so.”
Joker: “…when you cross a mentally drained solo-Q’er with a developer that abandons the game and treats us like trash!?”
Murray: “Call the police, Gavin, call the police.”
Joker: “I’ll tell you what you get! You get what you developers deserve!”
[Arthur Mutes Murray in the comms]
[Audience screaming]
[Arthur Laughs]
[Audience screaming]
Joker: “Goodnight. And always remember: That’s-”
[Spanish Flea plays]
Anchor 1: “Breaking news. Popular TV talk show host Murray Franklin was mass reported tonight in the live telecast of his program by one of his guests.”
Anchor 2: “The man, who was introduced by Franklin as ‘Joker’ is currently under arrest…”
[Overlapping feeds]